Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I
are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for
the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in
order to
keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
attempt
to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at
their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I
was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However,I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn
what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of
my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must
try this
again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released
-and seems
to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The
bird
has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
have
arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
safe.
For now...

Hahaha. "My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects." XD I think I read this before. I find that part so funny.

Cats Rule...

The
bird
has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move

I read the thing again. And found this funny: "He is obviously retarded." XD lol

Brilliant, did you make this yourself, ore did you find your pets diarys.

Gotta love cats

what a beautiful plan. have to love cats even though i'm not owning one

LMAO

this is awesome, i love it. captures the attitude that dogs and cats seem to exhibit perfectly.

everytime i read that and watch my ... , it makes a lot of sense... cat power

...though i'm gettin paranoid when he looks at me... what if he thinks i'm retarded too !?!??
?!

...if anyone out there doesn't own a cat... i suggest you get one... you won't regret it!

i love how the retarded thing is so true

OMG..!! i know it!!
my mom got her back injured.. seriously...
but... who can punish those adorable animals

i acn

LMAO

this bit i found so funny

aw, i love cats, they think they rule the world, when in fact they're just a mere factor of a pet.

well done lol

x

that was great read StoneAgeQueen !!
i loved it !! ♥

I've been sending this and linking it to everyone lol. It's too funny