Thought this was funny.

Subject: Airline repair humour...

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, submitted
by QUANTAS pilots, and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an
accident.

P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

:s2 Very good Loony

             :s2 :s2 :s2 :s2 :s2 :s2 :s2 :s2 :s2 :s2 :s2
                       This is how much I laughed.
                ( Good job I have a strong bladder)
Only a woman who's had children would understand ;)

Laughed so much it brought tears to my eyes


:s2 :s2 :s2 :s2 :s2 :s2 :s2 :s2

           Excellent,  LB!!!  very funny!!   :s2 :s2]

That one always cracks me up however many times i read it.

One question tho, since when has IFF (Identification Friend or Foe) Systems been installed on comercial airplanes?  :s9

Excelent LB, very funny

:s2 :s2 :s2 :s2 :s2

;D :s2 :s2 ;D :s2 ;D :s2 :s2 ;D :s2 ;D ::) :s2

Odin S.

:s2 :s2 :s2 :s2 :s2 :s2 :s2
very good LB

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

:s2 :s2 :s2
Very funny LB

Thanks for the laugh LB !!!!!  :s2

And they're the only major airline that's never had an accident?? Maybe this is telling us something

very funny LB

Very Funny!

hahahahahashahahahahaha ack hack "choke" errrg (Thump.)

hahaha!!! awesome!!! lol,

pilot: we'll be taking off in just a few, WHOA, here we go!

heh heh heh