I know this sounds really far fetched, but I have been researching this for some years now, and I've come to the incontrovertible conclusion that Jesus Christ was actually a tomato!!!
All those parables he told about vines – they weren't grape vines at all, they were tomato vines!!!
And all that stuff about shedding blood – it was just tomato juice!!!
He didn't get crucified at all. He got into a little boat with Mary Magdalene and sailed to France. Then he married her and had lots of baby cherry tomatoes, who later formed the Merovignian dynasty.
I've had a sneak preview at Dan Brown's new blockbuster, 'Da Tomato Code'. It's absolutely incredible. He explains how the Vatican have sat on this secret for hundreds of years, and how the heretics who thought Jesus was a vegetable, rather than a fruit, were mercilessly butchered.
Then in the 1970s, two blokes went to the south of France and got some maps and drew lots of really meaningful lines on them. In the middle was a church, and there was this really weird priest who grew tomatoes round the back. Suddenly, he came into lots of money. Then he died!!
So, all you Christians who thought he was the Son of God for the last 2,000 years, have been wasting your time! Ha, Ha, Ner, Ner!

It was kinda funny, but more of a waste of my time.

Guava help us, the spaghetti monster cult has had a child.

I blame the sauce. ~looks around~

0/10

Didn't I see this thread closed..........

It damn well should be....


.....very lame attempt to be funny. Maybe next time.


I wouldn't count on that.

Why should it be closed!? Because tomato are an insult to jesus or jesus is an insult to tomato's!? It's funny, in a Monty Python, Life of Brian, sort of way. Laugh! If we take everything so damn well serious it's not going to do anything but destroy our sense of humor.

What should damn well disgust us are the real life, violent anti-social in jesus name stuff, that's going on in this world. Somehow, I think chuckling at jesus and red fruit humor, is rather benign. And what's it really saying anyway!? Silly stuff, hardly worth noticing at all unless of course you're fond of humor and mater's.

There is no point in the thread, and I honestly don't think it is all that funny.

And I feel kinda disappointed that I didn't get a free PSP whilst clicking your sig.

I don't give a monkey's if you found it funny or not. There was a point to the thread, and I thought it was patently clear. Obviously, I must have temporarily forgotten that a lot of people who read these forums have a humourless, pond life intellect, with an IQ less than their shoe size, but many thanks for bringing that fact back to mind! I haven't got the time or energy to explain it to you, but I hope you get it someday.
For God's sake, lighten up!

But if you clicked my signature, you'll find you'll get something at least. Meanwhile blame the USPS. United Society of PSP Sneakies. Why at this very moment your PSP could have been snuck out of it's mail bag and re-directed to a starving village in China. Let the games begin!

Btw, if you fail to find this post humorous, please please don't go to the Spirit and Skeptics forum. Therein is posted a thread: " Was Jesus Christ a glass of carrot juice? New evidence to prove he wasn't a tomato!"

Christos Vegetabalis.
At this point I foresee a second coming, as an all you can eat salad bar.

Excellent advice Goddess........lol I visited.......it's a Twilight Zone over there....

I thought it was very funny. I,ve just done the Jesus is a Glass of Carrot Juice, and the Virgin Mary on a toasted cheese sandwich, threads....so thought I'd see how the Tomato one was going.




Maybe 'second coming' was a mistranslation and it should have been....'second helping' ?

Ah, that would indeed make sense. Must be the context, after that translation to the Greek.

"That was so bad, I think it gave me cancer!"