Hey I found this scripture and the person who wrote it was inspired by God and this is an excerpt:

Hey Guys Im God and you are all sinners. Oh yeah my son is a glass of carrot juice. Honestly. He is. Im God and dont lie about these things.

I guess if he can be a tomato he could be a glass of carrot juice...........

It has been depressing for me. My whole life I have believed that Jesus was a man. This has shattered my whole belief system. But at least I am willing to accept this new truth instead of cling to old dogmas. I do wonder though if he had no added preservatives and additives because he would seem less holy if he did.

I can see why, I'm sure many will be devastated to learn Jesus is just a tomato or worse, carrot juice. It's Ok with me though cause frankly I don't care if he was an eggplant or a milkshake, that's what you get when you put too much faith into things Bravey.....

I just have to applaud to that! Bravo, bravo!

Yeah it would be even more controversial than the "Da Vinci code"





An eggplant or milkshake? BLASPHEMY! This holy glass of carrot juice died on the cross for our sins and you dare put it in the same catagory as an eggplant or milkshake. Is anything sacred to you? I mean where is the respect? I thought you were better than that I really did.

Well Alara you can JUST CRAWL IN A DITCH AND DIE! HOW CAN YOU BE SO INSENSITIVE?!

To be honest I'm not even sure if all this is serious or a joke...............

Well the fact is, Jesus WAS a glass of carrot juice. Think about it.

I was thinking it was a joke but if you are actually serious then I apologise for being insensitive to you.

Do you think I would be joking about this? Peoples faith is at stake here. Do I sound like im joking?

Well yeah I know, but this is such a genuine topic. The absurdity is here only as a veil, one must see beyond the carrots and the milkshakes and see what it's actually about. I felt compelled to reply to this topic. I think you really started something here brave.

Has UM become the Twilight Zone. What the **** are you all talking about. Jesus is a carrot or a tomato????? Has everyone gone insane....

No really.

It isnt for me to forgive..... Only Jesus can do that.

Jesus is a glass of carrot juice...........am I really expected to take that seriously???? Your other posts tonight seem weird, are you OK? Have you had a bad day or something?

What do you mean?

If jesus was a 'glass' or orange juice, then how was he nailed to the cross ? Are we talking some sort of polystyrene cup here ?

Oh .. and no... it DOES make a difference. There is no WAY I could ever worship an Aubergine.

Tomatoes, Orange Juice, Milkshakes.... yes.

But NOT an Aubergine. (eggplant).

Meow Purr.

Why shouldnt you take it serious? Jesus said "...with God anything is possible." Therefore it is possible for God to be a glass of carrot juice.

Couldn't agree more. That reply was spot on.

*pats kitty-cat*

If Jesus was a vegetable then heck why not make him a head of cabbage. Why not call him Mr. Cabbage head from now on. Then his followers will dream of food all day because he decided to make the rest of his body into tomatos, and carrots. In the final Revelation his followers ate him. The End.

If you can't beat them join them...

Where is Brave and what have you done with him?

...and I thought it was a joke cause of another new topic Jesus is a tomato and then you come up with Jesus is a glass of carrot juice.

Because that isnt the truth as stated by the scripture.

I take it you are another sane person here and not at all ammused by this jibberish.

Who are you to call someone elses beliefs jibberish?

I AM the carrot. That's who.

Yeah, i can relate. i myself am a glass of carrot juice that lives on a diet of fish and sheep sh*t, but i sometimes go on a holy fast and go without the fish for a few days in it!

You just reminded me of Dory Previn...shes my mum she is ...heres one of her songs/poems.

Jesus was an androgyne

jesus was an androgyne
jesus was a he and a she
jesus was a freako baby
just like you and me
jesus was a pagan
jesus was a priest
jesus was a beauty
jesus was a beast

yeah actually, i'll continue cause the song/poem it goes into after that is cool too (they sort of merge, in it!)

animi/animus

give me your poor
your tired your pimps
your carhops your cowboys
your midgets and yoour chimps
give me your freaks
and your hollywood signs
your beasts and your beauties
give me your androgynes

and dont you see that
you are all the mother
you are all the son
you're the daughter
you're the father
you are
all in one

you are the least
you are the most
you are the holy
you are the ghost
you're the question
the answer
the even
the odd
you are Jesus
you are Mary
you
you are
you
are
god.

Did you hear that? i like the bit when she calls you all a bunch of mothers

Yeah

I'm not amused anymore and Brave, you have really hurt my feelings, so tit for tat.

can I make it up to you with a glass of carrot juice?

Ah, but we're not talking about carrots here my dear man. Carrot juice! Pay attention. And I thought people give an honest effort when reading into scriptures. I just don't know what to say to this. Your argument is based on something false. I was almost insulted. Luckily I just had a glass of carrot juice.

Hmmmmmmmm maybe............

You're traveling through another dimension. A dimension, not only of sight and sound, but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. Next stop, the Twilight Zone!

I will resist until the bitter end !!!!

lol.....I hope your right....this dimension is freaking me out

Relax.



Feel the antioxidants.

Ok Ok thanks............maybe a bowl of tomato soup will help me.........

That is a beautiful image of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

You are a naughty Brave, I'm coming over to smack your bum!!!

Yeah I like it up the bum

*brings cam*

Just promise me you wont post it on youtube

I said SMACK your bum you cheeky boy! You are getting weirder by the minute........ Keeping me puzzled at least, that's for sure.........

No, I'll post it here.

Maybe Brave can incorporate some carrots into the equation.......

Yeah we can stick them up Alara's clacker.

You took the words right out of my mouth. But you formed them better!

Wash your mouth with carrot juice boy!

I'm sweating, this is all getting too much for me............lol....(deep breaths....relaaaaaaax)

I'm sure that all the believers in jesus as their messiah are saying the same thing right now.

This is well funny, you lot are mad, glasses of carrot juice rules

edit: just wrote this in the old persecution thread and i reckon it applys here to. One mans war is another mans's peace... of carrot juice, in a glass...in it!