As I have mentioned before here on these boards, I come from an insanely Christian background. It is so nuts that I am damn near 30 and still have my mother calling me every Sunday inviting me to church.
Hence why the phone is in the other room. Hard to sleep off a hangover with a phone ringing at 7:30 am.
But recently my parents have begun to realize, I think, that I have no use for organized religion. They’ve actually missed some Sundays calling me and have pretty much dropped the topic. My mother even went so far, for her, as to say that she doesn’t care if I am Christian or not, just as long as I believe in something.
Well, I do.
I believe in a little of everything. When I was about 13 or 14, I became disgusted with the way Christianity handcuffs natural urges and began wandering about, reading different religious and philosophical texts. I read anything I could get my hands on. The Koran, the Book of Mormon, the Satanic Bible, Buddhist texts, studied Taoism, enjoyed Crowley’s works of madness, Nietzsche’s philosophy, the complete works of the Marquis de Sade, ‘Venus in Furs’ – yes this and Sade can both be considered spiritual/philosophic texts as they are ways of approaching the world --, Gnostic texts, the Apocrypha, the list goes on and on.
And all I found was I believed a little of everything, well except the Book of Mormon. LOL.
For example:
I found that I gave a little credence to some of the legends found in the Koran.
I believe in Crowley and the Satanic Bible in that I am the ultimate power for deciding my fate.
I am endlessly fascinated by the Buddhist practice of denying all urges as the path to enlightenment. However, I would have to say I believe in the inverse of that: the utter sating of all urges until the mind is clear to hunt for Truth.
I love the belief in spontaneity Taoism embraces.
Nietzsche is just dead on about so many things…. except nihilism, all hope is never lost.
De Sade and Sacher-Masoch are right in that sometimes we are just howling, twisted libidoes, driven nearly mad with lust. And I love every second of that, and believe there is power to achieve enlightment even in our most depraved moments.
The Gnostics and the Apocrypha just flat-out present a more palatable version of Christianity than the one that dominates today.
And I even have a little of Christianity still flowing through my veins. I can get down with some of Jesus’s loving philosophy. Although I see it as more of a Valentine Michael Smith kind of thing.
So I babbled all that to ask one question: Am I the only one that collects beliefs like trinkets along a beach or do any of you do the same?