The idea behind the story is that paranormal creatures of all kinds are slaves in the human world. A big corporation called Cult Halo 13 runs the slave trade of these creatures and the R.P.E. (Rogue Paranormal Elimination unit) is in control of taking out paranormals that are rowdy or have "lost their value". While this seems like a cruel setting, the main character is going to be a Russian paranormal girl that gets killed by her father in the beginning of the story and reawakens in Cult Halo 13. After a violent escape, she escapes into the human world with some extreme new powers from the experiments done at the corporation (very Marvel like, yes?). That's as much as I can say without ruining the plot but so far, how does it sound? Be honest. I'll answer all questions.

Honestly it sounds like a side story in the X men. It might be interesting to those who are fans of genre if you can make it fresh though.

Go for it!

It is not a good idea to try to branch from a certain company like Marvel unless you really want to.

When someone sounds like it's a side story for X-men that is just pathetic. No one likes a mooch. And I hate it when people seem to think it was an original idea. People were thinking about mutants LONG before Marvel even found an origin in anyone's mind.



Sounds like it would make a great story. It would make a horrible movie though And when I say that I am complimenting you. Unltraviolet was horrible. X-men 2 and 3 were both horrible. Spiderman 3 was horrible. I could go on

Sounds like a great idea for a video game though. Neat ideas.

I wasn't actually saying I had gotten the idea from Marvel, in all honesty the R.P.E thing just reminded me of something Stan Lee might have come up with, I've tried not to take ideas from anyone. Oh, and its not MUTANTS, its paranormal creatures of all sorts, i.e: angels, fairies, dragons, etc. etc. as far as you can imagine. No, I dont really care much for the idea of mutants anyways. And I can gurantee you it would not be like a superhero /super villain book at all. I guess if it had a genre it'd be sort of hybrided fantasy/modern sci-fi.

Good premise. Yes, it is very comicbook-ish but if you work it the correct way, you can make it all your own!! Go for your own style!! I actually had an idea for a story like this. Well, sorta. It also deals with a girl hunting rouge cryptids. But nevermind me.

And I don't think it sounds too much like X-Men. X-Men are mutants; as long as you only give the girl stuff like superhuman strength, intelligence, and psychic abilities, it won't sound too much like X-Men.

Good luck. I'd like to see some more stuff from this story when you get it done.

Actually, she's the angel of insanity so her powers tend to be a bit sketchy and random. Super anything isn't one of them, she's intelligent but not super strong. Maybe super athletic but she does have former military training so thats not too bad. She actually isn't a cryptid hunter, she's a paranormal herself so her hunt is with the mass power behind Cult Halo 13 and some individual paranormals who may hold information about how to open up the door into the Shadow World (Book 2). There doesn't seem to be a hero in this story, it's all just one sinner who may or may not be slightly better than the next.

The first thing I thought of when you told about the R.P.E. -- getting rid of paranormals that were causing trouble, etc... was Hellboy.

Don't worry too much about original base-plots - 'there is nothing new under the sun' - worry more about original storyline, characters, and writing.

Sounds like it could be good.

I like that. The antihero protagonist. There are no real "heros" or completely pure people left in this world. There are only varying degrees of sinners.

The basis behind it is that paranormals are slaves to mankind, sort of treated like the Jews in WWII. The main character is a Russian girl whose family gave her away because she was a "freak" to Cult Halo 13. They performed experiments on the little girl and placed a computer chip inside her mind which is the original memories of "Rostov", a machine used back in WWI on the Russians side and was killed after the czar was assassinated in the Bolshevik Revolution. They took the computer chip from her mind and place it in the little girl. That's part of it anyways.

Excellent advice!

Sounds like you've got a real good story going there, Surrian. Certianly unlike anything I've heard of (or thought of) before. And I like the idea of the computer chip in the mind. Gives an explaination of the reasons she "aquired" different powers. You sound like a good writer... I like you

If you write the story using Joseph Campbell's hero archtype you are bound to have a successful novel. Its what was used for Star Wars and Harry Potter.

Good luck

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monomyth

How old is this girl?

Oh yes; and my inner pansy is dying to know : Shall there be any romanitc subplots?

But either way

SOUNDS BRILLIANT!

I actually think that is quite an original plot; I haven't heard of anything like it before

The girl dies when she's about seventeen and "reawakens" about at twenty, though she often says she's been away for "decades" so its not certain anymore. Romantic subplots? Quite a few, one of the R.P.E members accidentally killed the love of his life during combat training. The head lieutenant has a secret thing going with her second in command. Uhm, lessee...Oh yeah, can't forget about the main lead and her romantic involvement with an ancient Egyptian man whose appeared in her dreams she had about another world before she died. I could go on...

And thank you!!! ^.^ Thats one of the best compliments I've gotten about it!

1. a call to adventure, which the hero has to accept or decline
2. a road of trials, regarding which the hero succeeds or fails
3. achieving the goal or "boon," which often results in important self-knowledge
4. a return to the ordinary world, again as to which the hero can succeed or fail
5. application of the boon in which what the hero has gained can be used to improve the world.

1. Reawakening without knowing who she is in a world where her kind is enslaved = call to adventure
2. Road of trials = Seeking out and defeating the various souls of the Gilded Circlet, the seven unfortunate people cursed to hold the lost dreams of the previous souls who sealed the gateway to the shadow world so no more paranormal people could be taken from it.
3. Crushing the head of Cult Halo 13 and stumbling upon the last of the Gilded Circlet, a woman named Rora who has the ability to recreate paranormals, (I can explain no further without spoiling anything) And opening the Maelstrom so all the paranormal slaves can go back to their homeland.
4. The world is now without slavery and everyone gets to start their lives as freedmen and women in the Shadow world, thus opening up for the second book.

That sound about right?

Sounds like your working up to a mighty fine novel. It has the paranormal, secret government societies, and a little romance. I'd buy it!!

Thanks. I think all I need is some good interlacing twists and a better character line up. Most of my characters are really good so far, but a few of them are a bit...well, flat.

Why is there always a big corporation?

They are easier to hate. You are not just hating one person.

Have you thought about perspective?

Who is telling the story? I've found the most interesting books are told from a third person point of view like a friend of the main character.

Romantic Subplots aplenty!

This sounds SO GOOD, hurry up and write it!
I am desperate to read it already....

Or you could just post more of the plot...

I want to know what happens!

It's Third Person.

I just don't know how to begin it T.T; well I do, but I keep getting hyper off of sugar and skipping to scenes of random violence or scenes from the sequel to this story. I guess revealing a little more plot couldnt hurt but where to begin...

Eh its more like a big chain of underground science rings than one corporation. Its not called a corporation just like the Pit is called 'humane' *coughs*