June 11
Marshalltown, Iowa -- Police blame a woman named Butts for stealing toilet paper from a central Iowa courthouse, and while they're chuckling, the theft charge could put her in prison.

"She's facing potentially three years of incarceration for three rolls of toilet paper," Chief Walker said, stifling a laugh about Suzanne Marie Butts. "See, I can't say it with a straight face."

Workers had noticed the rolls disappearing from the County Courthouse much faster than usual.

Butts, 38, was caught last week after an employee saw her taking three rolls of two-ply tissue from a storage closet. She did not work there.

The fifth-degree theft charge, a misdemeanor, normally carries a sentence of less than a year in jail. But Butts could face more time if convicted under the state's habitual offender law because she has prior theft convictions.
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What the heck? Who in their right mind name their child Butts? That's so wrong.

She wasn't named Butts. That's her last name.

Oh. Normal mistake for me. >.<

But I DID read the article.

When I heard this on the news, I had to giggle too. First because of what was stolen, second the thief's last name! I guess it was a way of making sure no one would forget her crime. My mom grew up a with family with the last name Horr...far as I know none of them spent time in prison.

I just saw this on the news tonight. I live in Iowa. I think Marshalltown is just a couple hours from me.

I'm curious to know, how did she get them out of there? Did she hide them in her shirt? her jacket? her butt? (sorry, bad joke) Well this one will go down in the anals of crime hystory. (sorry, I couldn't resist)

Yep...you certainly can't keep a straight face on this one

there will be plenty of jokes and toilet paper where she is heading

Wow, that would be highly embarrassing. I wonder how she got through highschool with a name like that. Rollcall must have been hell!

"Smith?"
"HERE!"
"Nieves?"
"Here!"
"Butts?"
-class giggles-
".....here....."

I knew a girl whose last name was Fagg. She hated it but I was too young to know why. I know now.

And you can't forget all the people with the last name of Hooker.

Hehe, I had to giggle at that.

I know a girl with the last name of Boner... and in 3rd grade, I knew someone with the last name of Gay. Seriously.

heh i once knew a guy named Stony Stoned! NO JOKE! that was his first and last name. every one who didn't know him would always chuckle when his name was called out on the intercom at school.

My grandmother's middle name was Gay. That was a popular girl's name in the early part of the 20th century.

Can you imagine?

Gay Fagg.

Gay Butt.

Gay Boner.

Gay Stoner.

I think Gay Fagg is my favorite.