Awaken in a cold sweat,
the heat from my dreams
makes my skin melt.

Nothing's impervious,

to its conscience when it screams.


A far way across the sea,
the planks on my boat
rot and break free.

Nothing's impervious,

to the endless soaking stream.


I cry quietly beneath
the boards supporting
your weary feet.

Nothing's impervious,

to the tragedies underneath.



And so I break to be free.

why?

Awaken from my dreams.

why?

I swam across the sea.

why?

Crawled out from underneath.

why?

And I thought it was all obvious,

We must grasp to be released.

good job.

this is a wholesome life metaphor. you should embellish more on this particular line. you will be jazzed. we promise.

Hey Moe, I always appreciate constructive criticism and I think this would help! thanks alot!