We’ve all heard the “official conspiracy theory” of the Death Star attack. We all know about Luke Skywalker and his ragtag bunch of rebels, how they mounted a foolhardy attack on the most powerful, well-defended battle station ever built. And we’ve all seen the video over, and over, and over, of the one-in-a-million shot that resulted in a massive chain reaction that not just damaged, but completely obliterated that massive technological wonder.

Like many citizens of the Empire, I was fed this story when I was growing up. But as I watched the video, I began to realize that all was not as it seemed. And the more I questioned the official story, the deeper into the rabbit hole I went.

Presented here are some of the results of my soul-searching regarding this painful event. Like many citizens, I have many questions that I would like answered: was the mighty Imperial government really too incompetent to prevent a handful of untrained nerf-herders from destroying one of their most prized assets? Or are they hiding something from us? Who was really behind the attack? Why did they want the Death Star destroyed? No matter what the answers, we have a problem.

Below is a summary of my book, Uncomfortable Questions: An Analysis of the Death Star Attack, which presents compelling evidence that we all may be the victims of a fraud of immense proportions.



1) Why were a handful of rebel fighters able to penetrate the defenses of a battle station that had the capability of destroying an entire planet and the defenses to ward off several fleets of battle ships?

2) Why did Grand Moff Tarkin refuse to deploy the station’s large fleet of TIE Fighters until it was too late? Was he acting on orders from somebody to not shoot down the rebel attack force? If so, who, and why?

3) Why was the rebel pilot who supposedly destroyed the Death Star reported to be on the Death Star days, maybe hours, prior to its destruction? Why was he allowed to escape, and why were several individuals dressed in Stormtrooper uniforms seen helping him?

4) Why has there not been an investigation into allegations that Darth Vader, the second-ranking member of the Imperial Government, is in fact the father of the pilot who allegedly destroyed the Death Star?

5) Why did Lord Vader decide to break all protocols and personally pilot a lightly armored TIE Fighter? Conveniently, this placed Lord Vader outside of the Death Star when it was destroyed, where he was also conveniently able to escape from a large-sized rebel fleet that had just routed the Imperial forces. Why would Lord Vader, one of the highest ranking members of the Imperial Government, suddenly decide to fly away from the Death Star in the middle of a battle? Did he know something that the rest of the Imperial Navy didn’t?

6) How could any pilot shoot a missile into a 2 meter-wide exhaust port, let alone a pilot with no formal training, whose only claim to fame was his ability to “bullseye womprats” on Tatooine? This shot, according to one pilot, would be “impossible, even for a computer.” Yet, according to additional evidence, the pilot who allegedly fired the missile turned off his targeting computer when he was supposedly firing the shot that destroyed the Death Star. Why have these discrepancies never been investigated, let alone explained?

7) Why has their been no investigation into evidence that the droids who provided the rebels with the Death Star plans were once owned by none other than Lord Vader himself, and were found, conveniently, by the pilot who destroyed the Death Star, and who is also believed to be Lord Vader’s son? Evidence also shows that the droids were brought to one Ben Kenobi, who, records indicate, was Darth Vader’s teacher many years earlier! Are all these personal connections between the conspirators and a key figure in the Imperial government supposed to be coincidences?

8) How could a single missile destroy a battle station the size of a moon? No records, anywhere, show that any battle station or capital ship has ever been destroyed by a single missile. Furthermore, analysis of the tape of the last moments of the Death Star show numerous small explosions along its surface, prior to it exploding completely! Why does all evidence indicate that strategically placed explosives, not a single missile, is what destroyed the Death Star?

SOURCE: http://www.websurdity.com/2007/02/28/uncom...k-an-inside-job

Maybe posting this in the wrong section was an inside job?

Genius. Almost as ridiculous as some of the posts about 9/11, but not quite...

well, of coarse he did! he's darth vader! he had the force on his side! the imperial navy weren't believers in or weilders of the force!

and i've one answer for all your questions my young padawan ...IT WAS THE WILL OF THE FORCE.

Hmmm! Some mighty good points there, Mr. Prime. It's also interesting that of all the attacking X-wings, Darth Vaders alleged son is one of the very few to survive the encounter.

It's also interestrsing that Darth Vaders own Super Star Destroyer was the only one to crash into the second Death Star. This conspiracy goes all the way to the top I'm sure. I mean, after the first Death Star was destroyed, Lord Vader was "rewarded" with a Super Star Destroyer to cruise around in. Think about it! It's also important to note that this Luke Skywalker guy who was supposed to be the enemy of Vader refused to allow even his corpse to be destroyed in the second Death Stars demise. And where is the body of Vader now? Well, it was "conveniently creamated on some far flung moon. Kind of makes an autopsy a little hard to come by, huh? And who was responcible for getting rid of the "body of evidence"? Would this be the same "Luke" who saved the corpse from utter destruction?

Oh yeah, and don't even get me started on the whole story about a bunch of little primitive Ewoks taking down an entire squad of AT-STs.

Oh-yeah, and those sneaky little Jawas! How come they never show their faces? What have they got to hide!?! And are we really supposed to believe that Obi Wan just disappeared? POOF! Into thin air? (There is no air in space!). I think that maybe the Emperor had him put under the Witness Protection plan to prevent him from being implicated in the loss of a high dollar space station. Then he was free to pin it all on those poor, starving rebels. You saw how he used those souless clones, didn't you!?!

come now obi wan would never be involved in such a thing!!

he went into the force!

lol.

you people are totally over-looking and and underestimating the power of the force
its back to Dagobah for some training with yoda for you lot!

Yoda lives in a mud hut; Jabba was a "Hutt"; Al Qaeda lives in a mud huts. Coincidence? I think not. I have a whole team of R2 units crunching the numbers on this one as we speak!

it was the sex slave center of the galaxy, that was their business, thas why darth vador had so much power, and god got mad couse he always wants to have the most power, so god destroyed it.

crikeys! you really had me in stitches with that one!! LMAO kudos

Nope sorry cant call him that, prime is my nickname. Your gonna have to deal with "Bruce"

Top post bruceprime, well funny!

This probably should have been placed in the humour section, however this section of the forum is often rather too serious. This thread is a bit of fun and as long as it accepted as such by both conspiracy theorists and sceptics I see no reason why a light hearted thread can not be allowed here.

However should this thread be used as an excuse for sceptics to ridicule CTs or vice versa this thread will be closed quicker than you can say, "may the Force be with you".

Sounds like you guys might enjoy this then

A different point of view

Excellent, & dare i say, it puts the 9/11 crap into perspective

Absolutely brilliant. I would have never thought of this! Gees conspiracies are everywhere!

That's hilarious. Awesome post, Bruce.

somehow halliburton , KBR , EXXON , BP the Rothchild's , bush's , Clinton's, jimmy carter --and the NWO have to be involved--along with the little gray men and the UFO"S !!!

All very good points.

And let's not forget to mention the Battle of Hoth. There are several questions about that...

1) Why did Admiral Ozzel exit hyperspace so close to Hoth? This alerted the rebels of the Imperial presence, allowing them to put up their planetary shields. Of course, Admiral Ozzel was executed by Lord Vader soon after he made this "mistake." His death eliminated any evidence that could have implicated Lord Vader in this "mistake."

2) Admiral Piett replaced Ozzel after the Battle of Hoth. Is it just coincidence that Lord Vader's hand-chosen successor for Ozzel is the same man who commanded the Executor when it crashed into the Death Star?

3) The Imperial forces touched-down too far from the Rebel base, allowing for more preparation. Three AT-ATs were lost in this battle, due to the Rebel's preparation. Leading the Imperial forces was General Veers, yet another Vader crony.

4) Not only were two AT-ATs lost due to enemy aircraft, but one was single-handedly destroyed by the same rebel that destroyed the Death Star. Never in the course of galatic conflict, has any one soldier destroyed one of these behemoths by himself.

5) All senior Rebel personnel were allowed to escape, aboard three transports. This is despite Lord Vader personally leading a contigent on Stormtroopers into the Rebel base, and despite the picket of Imperial Star Destroyers blockading the planet. The Tyrant was heavily damaged by a Rebel ion-cannon before the battle began, allowing the Rebels to escape through hole in the picket-line. (refer to point 1...Admiral Ozzel bringing the fleet in too close...)

He was also the only pilot in all of the rebellion to carry a lightsaber while flying. Did he maybe know something or are we all being misinformed?

Personally, the damage didn't look all that bad to me. I think that they could have stayed in the fight. Am I the only one that didn't notice any of that so called "heavy" damage?

And let's not forget, Darth Vader had Han Solo frozen yet let him be taken by a buonty hunter even though he was responcible for shooting down at least two TIE fighters allowing for the destruction of the first Death Star. Why was Han not put on trial? Was Vader afraid something might get leaked out?

Han CLAIMS that he saved Luke by cutting a hole in his Taun-Taun and stuffing Luke in the corpse to keep him warm. How kind, Han. Isn't it a fact that Hoth is a very cold planet and even colder at night? Are we to believe that a cut open animal is all that was needed to keep him from freezing? Pray tell how you stayed warm and cozy, dear sir?!? Isn't it more likely that you were given thermal generators from an Imperial agent?

The Shield Generator for the Second Death Star was located on a hostile planet, in an area that was still occupied by an insurgent Ewok force. Was this just bad tactics or is your realstate agent getting kick back from the Empire? Was this a scheme to divert more tax money to crooked building contractors for a third Death Star?

One bomb destroyed the First Death Star? Is that because of shoody construction and inferior materials? Where did the money for quality equipment go? More kick backs? Just who is pocketing the Imperial citizens tax credits!?! Nerf herders?

And just what happened to all those clone troopers the Empire paid for? Why were they given early retirements with big severence pay requiring an Empire wide stormtrooper enlistment drive!?!

How come the rebels have a hospital ship but, the Empire don't? Where is the oversight commitee?
Vader can afford top of the line helmet polish but, the Empire can't get a better group plan?

How did the Empire buy all those big ships and not notice that there isn't the first toilet in the whole darn fleet!?! Is that why Vader breathes like that? He's constipated?

Bounty Hunters! Do we need their scum?

someone does

they ARE well known through out the galaxy for working for the highest bidder.... Might be easily paid off?

I couldnt agree more!!

And in all the conspiracies, we have missed the most obvious one of all. Truly, it is what sits out in plain view that is most often hardest to find. Lord Umbarger (who is Lord Umbarger, anyway? The only people we title "Lord" are the Sith - Lord Vader, Lord Maul, Lord Sidious, Lord Tyrannus - looks like this information is coming straight from the government itself) touched on it by mentioning the forest-moon of Endor as the location of the shield generator. We know as a reported fact that an "entire legion of my (the Emperor's) best troops await them there". AN ENTIRE LEGION. Folks, do not be deceived. An entire legion of the Empire's finest, with a lifetime of military training and the best weaponry available, and they get routed by a small bunch of insurgent 3-foot tall natives carrying sticks and rocks.

The mind boggles, truly it does. And let's not forget that these natives were being organised by the same Rebel scum that Lord Vader had frozen in Carbonite on Cloud City, in his custody, but released him to the bounty hunter, Bobba Fett. Was Han Solo even captured, or kept as an honoured guest of the Imperium? If only we could somehow contact Fett for confirmation of this story. But Fett conveniently perished in the rescue attempt of Solo - on Vader's HOME PLANET of Tattooine, no less. Yes, people will claim that there is video footage of Fett falling to his death at the Pit of Carkoon. But what do we really know of this incident? Did we see Fett's face? No, all we saw was a man in a green Mandalorian uniform - it could have been anyone wearing Fett's armour.

For anyone who still has old archival footage dating from the earliest public releases (close to 30 years ago, now), you will note that Fett's voice is different to the voice that we hear in the remastered copies that are only available now. Someone has obviously run Fett's voice through a filter and changed his tone to more accurately match the voice we now know of as belonging to Jango Fett (from whom Bobba was cloned).

Are we to truly believe these are just mere coincidences?

eye dont get it

ARGH! I've been found out! Quick, Hide me! I'll have to dissappear and come back as a Star Trek personality! Maybe Capt. James T. Berk-owitz? Perhaps the hald Human, half Dull-can, Science Officer Mr. Spark(plug).

Kirk: "Bones, he's dying, you've got to save him!"
Bones: "Damnit Jim, I'm a Doctor not a... oh, yeah, well, I'll see what I can do for him."