Santa is a Girl!

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she.

Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist. Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man: Men can't pack a bag. Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet. Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with all those elves. Men don't answer their mail. Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly." Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them. Having to do the 'Ho Ho Ho' thing would seriously harm their macho image.

Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment. I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men... Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy. Cupid flies around carrying weapons. Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers. Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick. Not a chance

lol never quite thought about it before but you have a point saker

*nods and smiles*

heheheheee ... they are cluless of our true intentions ! ( Silence other men ! )

Ah, I'm sorry, but I have to disagree and here's why...

You said...
For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve.

True, but that's why he has the Elves make the gifts and label them. I believe all he does is make the list and checks it... Some most men I know do rather well. Think about it... "Honey, I need you to fix the sink!" "Okay dear, I'll need to go to the hardware store and get. 1 a wrench, 2 a rubber washer, 3 some sealant, 4 a new power saw... etc.

You said...
Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.

Even hunters know you don't kill "all" of them. You just use Next years targets for transportaing this year.

you continued...
Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.

Who needs directions? You going to everyhouse and drop off the gift. If they happen to be one of the many families that doesn't believe in Christmas, you just, use the restroom, raid the fridge, and go on your merry way.

You said...
Men can't pack a bag.

again Elves...

Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet. Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with all those elves.

He's like any man who doesn't want to hurt his wifes feelings, and she probably bought if for him at a Penny's sale. "Honey, you're going to look darling in this!" And who saids he hangs out with the Elves? He just has them do all the work and then takes the credit... Sounds like a man to me... YEP! I BBQ'D them steaks myself, best danged dinner I've had in months! (and the wifes thinking... what about the taters, corn, beans, rolls,... you get the idea)

...Men don't answer their mail.

I've never gotten a letter back from Santa, have you?

... Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."

He may not like it... but who can control the press these days?

...Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.

Good point, but it's part of the job... what can you do...

... Having to do the 'Ho Ho Ho' thing would seriously harm their macho image.

You see, this is a common misconception, he actually says. Woo hoo hoo... and whispers, thank God no one saw me in this outfit here either.


... Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

Again, good point, but I'd bet anything, Mrs Claus is the one who actually got him to get up a leave by having he elves over for tea after all that hard work.

I'm sure you can see my points. And I may be wrong, but I seriously doubt it. After all, If santa was a woman, he'd stay to chat at the first house and couldn't get to all the rest in just one night.


Don

sorry...if santa were a woman...then wed have to send stuff to santa too...shed be sendin letters "dont u remember what i did for u last christmas? how much i gave up just to give u that gift? and u cant even write to me unless youre askin for things...not just to say hi!! i deserve better than this! im leaving you for another good little boy/girl" and everyone would get clothes and junk...blech!

Isn;t this very sexist?

Semone, you're 12. You shouldn't even be able to spell words starting with sex.

Maybe Santa is a heshe (man and woman)

Then again...who knows!?

he meant that young people should spell properly,while older ones don't...i think!
once again...who knows?!

Hmm, no. That was not what I meant. But I like your creative mind.

oopss...sorry phantom...won't do it again!

Am glad i managed to gain the vast pole of opinion on the is Santa male or female thread - lol - next i think i'll chose the God version lol - maybe we will have some even more amusing/interesting views! lol

if santa is a girl then everyone would be naughty..... SANTA IS SATAN so he's evil... dont let him in ur haus or else he might poses...<<nvm spelling you

-.- wow... that was the stupidest thing i have ever heard. nice job there.

Hehe yeah the tradition but what has it to do with santa?



Yep the elves, and he's also quite late think about it, he comes at night the 24:th.

Ever heard of "compass"? or GPS? even the stars could be used for navigation.
Not every man eats meat, maybe he's a vegan. and thanks to that doesnt hunt.


He doesnt pack it he just throw the stuff in there and/or the elves does the work.
Everything to get the wife quiet..
I havent either got back any mails from him..
He's just trying to sound like an owl to not make anyone suspicious, called "camouflage".


A disease, maybe the cause. and woman like to do sports to..Or even the beer maybe the reason.




Santa is also supposed to have a long white beard, is fat.
Many woman prefer to do sports before getting fat, I know a few in person.
He only comes once a year, maybe he stays home and takes beer for the rest of year?

It's hard to believe a woman could have such a big beard, lol. Though I'd have to say a fit young lady santa would be very SEXY!