Plainbob13 Posted April 24, 2008 #1 Share Posted April 24, 2008 This is too funny. Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft. Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur. Rumours of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings. Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure. "You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday. Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released. "I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said. "But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said. Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members. "It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capoeiranger Posted April 24, 2008 #2 Share Posted April 24, 2008 It happens here too, it is said that the shamans in Borneo island are powerful enough to remove your penis or replace it somewhere else on your body if you're doing bad things like kill or rape people etc. Imagine if they replaced it to your nose ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saru Posted April 24, 2008 #3 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Removed the last post, lets keep the comments clean and free of explicit jokes or remarks please. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muddpuppy Posted April 24, 2008 #4 Share Posted April 24, 2008 (edited) OMG You have GOT to be kidding me!!!! Is this real?? I've heard of stupid off the wall superstitions but, WOW penis theft! Really? Edited April 24, 2008 by muddpuppy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crtDzyn Posted April 24, 2008 #5 Share Posted April 24, 2008 They'll get ya where it hurts! Not the wallet in this case, eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bear's Quest Posted April 24, 2008 #6 Share Posted April 24, 2008 This is too funny. Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft. Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur. Rumours of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings. Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure. "You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday. Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released. "I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said. "But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said. Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members. "It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
__Kratos__ Posted April 24, 2008 #7 Share Posted April 24, 2008 *winces* Backwards savages... That's just so wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaguat Posted April 24, 2008 #8 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Mu hu wawahahaha! What a wierd extortion tactic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Finsup22 Posted April 24, 2008 #9 Share Posted April 24, 2008 "I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," sound like a little joke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chemical-licker Posted April 24, 2008 #10 Share Posted April 24, 2008 closes legs a little more tightly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ignus Fatuus Posted April 24, 2008 #11 Share Posted April 24, 2008 voodoo and it's head shrinking...or insecurity and it's whine making. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bella-Angelique Posted April 24, 2008 #12 Share Posted April 24, 2008 (edited) Send Him In As Ambassador! This just might be the secret to world peace. Edited April 24, 2008 by Bella-Angelique Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Finsup22 Posted April 24, 2008 #13 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Send Him In As Ambassador! This just might be the secret to world peace. Bob. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Honeybadger Posted April 24, 2008 #14 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Those sorcers like to hang out at the beach. Because whenever I go swimming... they work their magic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ignus Fatuus Posted April 24, 2008 #15 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Bob. I really, really did not need to see Bob again. I swear to Satan himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plainbob13 Posted April 24, 2008 Author #16 Share Posted April 24, 2008 I really, really did not need to see Bob again. I swear to Satan himself. What i do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quill Posted April 24, 2008 #17 Share Posted April 24, 2008 To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said. Genius. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairyJosie25 Posted April 24, 2008 #18 Share Posted April 24, 2008 ..........Sounds to me like a bunch of insecure men who are finding scapegoats for their own problems............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissMelsWell Posted April 24, 2008 #19 Share Posted April 24, 2008 So if your tallywhacker is stolen in the middle of the night while you're sleeping at home... can you claim that on your home owners insurance? Or do you need a special rider for that one? (pun not intended ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenshinx Posted April 25, 2008 #20 Share Posted April 25, 2008 blaming and beatin sorcers coz they have tiny weenie ? that's not right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goalienan Posted April 25, 2008 #21 Share Posted April 25, 2008 So if your tallywhacker is stolen in the middle of the night while you're sleeping at home... can you claim that on your home owners insurance? Or do you need a special rider for that one? (pun not intended ) tallywhacker........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mademoiselle Posted April 25, 2008 #22 Share Posted April 25, 2008 http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/witchcraft "KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft. Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur. Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings. Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure. "You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday. Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released. "I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said. "But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said. Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members. "It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grither Posted April 25, 2008 #23 Share Posted April 25, 2008 This has got to be the best story I have read in a long time lol. It's so hilarious. Perhaps the victims were just tiny to begin with. I doubt that that they were stolen or vanished. *Grither looks and screams* They got me! Quick call the cops! 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tia Posted April 25, 2008 #24 Share Posted April 25, 2008 Yep it gives the less endowered public an excuse for their size. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goalienan Posted April 25, 2008 #25 Share Posted April 25, 2008 This gives a whole new meaning to "the long and short of it".... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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