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Still Waters

Florida vampire to run for President

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Not satisfied with living in Florida, Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey wants to move to Washington, D.C., to become the nation's first vampire president, reports CBS affiliate WTSP.

Sharkey, 45, spent Friday on a Greyhound bus with his new fiancee, Audrianna Foster, a 19-year-old girl from Ohio he met online. She too believes she is a vampire, or vampyre.

"I haven't dated a girl older than 19 since 2006," said the Tampa man as his 19-year-old daughter and his 2-year-old grandson met him at the Greyhound station. "It's good to be me."

"The Impaler" claims he's a direct descendent of Vlad II the Impaler, better known as Dracula.

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Slashing the deficit!

image6300757g.jpg

Vampire 2012

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Posted (edited)

So what are his political views? Anyone is better than Obama :)

Edited by Extinction

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I have been waiting my whole life for this.

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This is messed up in so many ways.

Did anyone related to this guy think at all to get him a trip to the local psych?

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i didn't think anything was gonna be funnier than Al Sharpton running for president, man was i wrong

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I'm not even going to read the article.

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Hold on a minute...i thought Obama was a vampyre anyway ;)

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I'm not even going to read the article.

Wackadoo attention whore with delusions and fetish runs for office.

There. :) All points covered.

Nibs

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I have been waiting my whole life for this.

So you have waited your whole life for a sick perverted stalker vampire to be president?

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So you have waited your whole life for a sick perverted stalker vampire to be president?

I believe she was joking. Maybe a little bit.

*pinches fingers together*

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"However, he also bragged about having numerous teen-aged girlfriends in recent years.

The girls have also provided several skeletons in Sharkey's closet.

He's accused of "brainwashing" a 16-year-old in Minnesota. The two were engaged until last month. Her family now has a restraining order against Sharkey and claims his texts to her violate it.

He reportedly admitted to harassing another 16-year-old Minnesota girl online in 2009.

He was arrested in Tennessee several years ago and is currently on probation from Indiana after he was found guilty in 2009 of intimidating a judge. He served six months in a Marion Co. jail before his release. Sources confirm the Secret Service has had to keep him on its radar, since he moves around the country." (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/03/15/national/main6300766.shtml?tag=pop)

You think he's even gonna get close to the polls? lmao

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this guy sounds like a creep. hes from florida right? the sunshine state? sunshine kill vampyre? ok.

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I believe she was joking. Maybe a little bit.

*pinches fingers together*

:lol: yeah....though, I do have a bit of a vampire obesession :ph34r:

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:lol: yeah....though, I do have a bit of a vampire obesession :ph34r:

Me too, but NOT for emo sparkly vampires.

alexander_skarsgard.jpg

:P

Nibs

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Me too, but NOT for emo sparkly vampires.

alexander_skarsgard.jpg

:P

Nibs

I like you more and more every day! :D

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I have recentlty discovered that he aparently stalks and goes after 19 [and younger] year old females. He claims to be a vampire and threatens to impale people on stakes if they break laws if he becomes president. Though he wants to abolish aborition totally. There are some sites up by people of girls he's damaged over the years. One of them I think needs permanent psychiatric care. He's not from Florida, thought I do not know at present where he is actually from. He has tried in several states to run for political office while being in the run from the law and also angry parents of the girls he's gone after. I hope this one spontaniously combusts.

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This guy is madder than a bag of frogs.

So at least he's well qualified for the job.

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i didn't think anything was gonna be funnier than Al Sharpton running for president, man was i wrong

You ain't seen nuthin yet sucka'!!

post-40427-126901755144_thumb.jpg

For PRESIDENT!!

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Me too, but NOT for emo sparkly vampires.

alexander_skarsgard.jpg

:P

Nibs

Stop posting distracting pictures!

Also, I just wonder how long it will take for Cetacea to find this thread... :lol:

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Posted (edited)

Stop posting distracting pictures!

Also, I just wonder how long it will take for Cetacea to find this thread... :lol:

Huh? Distracting?

:P

Eric-true-blood-7865264-393-463.jpg

*fully on topic - vampire that holds office*

Nibs

Edited by HerNibs

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Huh? Distracting?

:P

*fully on topic - vampire that holds office*

Nibs

You are an evil, brilliant, evil woman.

:P

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I was joking. :P I just used her to slag off the vampire president wannabe guy. He must have been watching too many films and wants to be like the head vampire... but they usually die. :rolleyes:

Anyway thanks girls for turning this thread into a "show your perv stashathon". Maybe us guys will start posting perv pics, then this thread will be swamped with hot females. (well pics of them anyway)

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Anyway thanks girls for turning this thread into a "show your perv stashathon". Maybe us guys will start posting perv pics, then this thread will be swamped with hot females. (well pics of them anyway)

I believe there's a purpose made thread for that here. :P

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I believe there's a purpose made thread for that here. :P

My she-vamp trumps any of your he-vamps.

post-40427-126902101351_thumb.jpg

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