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Cloud_Strife

Renegade

22 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

Walking in this desolate wasteland once known as New York city a man shrouded in darkness walks endlessly without purpose searching for the truth in a world of lies. Bending over the man notices many papers blowing with the breeze that the wind brought, headlines flashing "the end" yet none explaining what the end is or was in his case. The planet lies in chaos the world a shattered illusion told in fairy tales to frightened children as they sleep at night, whilst reality bares the true scars of the planet leaving only crumbled ruins of cities and fragments of a civilisation long forgotten.

Time meaning nothing now the stranger carries on walking searching for the truth to the riddle of what happened to his gaia, his mother, his earth.

A world is born from chaos yet life still flourishes technology all but gone left mankind isolated from its neighbouring countries, even if the ability to travel was still available none are left to pilot the machines of the past and no-one remembers how the cataclism of earth begun or if it had ever finished

Edited by Cloud_Strife

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Posted (edited)

Walking alone once again a scream echos through the ruins of New York the man quickens his pace his muscles tightening his eyes narrowing. Finding the cause of the scream the man finds a group of Myarts (humans with the intelligence only to kill and mate) surrounding a young woman clutching her tattered clothes and a dead body next to her. Screams still echoing in his ears the man reaches behind his robes and from this place pulls two guns each more devilish looking than the other, now armed the man shouts

"Leave the girl alone"

Not understanding english the Myarts only glance to him with drooling mouths and bloodish weapons, as if not expecting them to comply the man smiles wrily underneath his blackened robes and lets loose a hail of bullets each penetrating one of the Myarts skulls, no bullets miss.

Now walking towards the girl the man scours the Myarts and notices the weapons to which they had carried, clubs pipes and other blunted tools found amongst the rubbish of the city yet all covered in blood.

The girl still sobbing now cowered in fear to her dead brothers body saved by a man in black, saved yet still in danger.

"Pppp please dont hurt me" clutching the remains of a beautiful dress the girl clambered over her brothers body still trying to wake him from his eternal sleep. The man still walked to her no face visible underneath his robes and now no weapon in his hands then only darkness.

The girl awoke to find herself in new clothes lying next to a warm fire, she stared at her surroundings yet only seeing darkness yet a voice loomed from the darkness.

"So you finally awoke i see, sorry if i startled you but you fainted once i approached you back at the city, my name is Ryu what is yours ??"

Edited by Cloud_Strife

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so can any1 give me there honest oppinion of the story so far im a bit intrested in what every1 thinks of it. Please give your honest oppinions and i wont take anything you say offensively. thanks

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I like it, it's good so far thumbsup.gif

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still groggy from fainting the young girl can only vaguely make out the dark elusive shape of her saviour, if it was not for him she would probably have been raped and killed, she now knew that this had been her brothers thoughts aswell and his actions to save her cost him dearly. Snapping back from the thoughts she now noticed no ruins of the city around her no sign of her old clothes and no sign of her brother, still looking frantically the silent saviour made no sound or movement but instead watched her curiously.

"I thank you for saving me, ppp please find me not ungrateful yet i wish to know what of my brother?"

A sigh erupted from Ryu and a gloved hand pointed in the direction of disturbed earth and a small wooden cross.

"N no it cant be why why he was only saving me from those beast!"

once again the girl took to fainting, and once again Ryu was left wondering who the hell was this girl ??

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Ryu now left once again to himself pondered the actions of how he ended up the way he was now, a loner, an outcast, a Renegade.

Cast out from the family he had oce considered his own Ryu had been told the truth to his upbringing, he was adopted from one of the old ranch hands that owned a farm in where maps say the state of texas was. Found just a child wandering the endless expance of land surrounding the ranch the boy had collapsed half dead upon the old ranchmans porch. If it had not been the boys uncanny appearance of jet black hair and fiery red eyes the old man wouldve threw him out there and then, being old the old man had time to look after the boy and nurse him back to health.

10 years passed and the old ranchman found a son in the boy, naming him Ryu the boy had been raised well growing strong and fast much like the other boys who also lived on the ranch.

Yet whilst the other boys living near Ryu had spent their lives obeying their desires to procreate Ryu had learned the art of fighting from the men on the ranch, and had a particular bloodlust when the old man finally tought the boy to shoot.

The ranch had once been a base for something known as the army but now all but underground bunkers remained each containing wepons of destruction to which the ranchers had guarded since they settled.

Learning quick how to fight Ryu fought with great intensity earning him the name scarlet terror amongst his closest friends, this was of course due to the colour of his eyes and his accuracy with the gun.

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Awesome so far Cloud!

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Finally equiped with weapons to which he had been raised Ryu was now a worthy opponent to all who dared challenge him. The small town ridden in dust now faced a new era, an era where one they had raised as their own would be forced to save them all.

It was the year of the red sun Ryu still living with the old man continued to practise fighting even though he had beaten everone in the village his thirst for violence continued to scare the old man, it had been many a year since he had found the boy half dead on his porch yet the boy had grown much slower since he reached his twenties now all those boys who had grown with ryu had families of their own and sons to be proud of, Ryu still looked young had taken no mate and with each year his eyes seem to blaze even more red.

The town elders always suspicious of the boy had decided to bring in a shaman from the east to help Ryu recover his lost memories of his childhood, believing him to be a demon.

This was the first mistake the men would make, and the last .... devil.gif

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its good! nice job!

wait a second.........

ryu? as in wooden sword ryu? wtf?

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very cool cloud strife

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its good! nice job!

wait a second.........

ryu? as in wooden sword ryu? wtf?

255186[/snapback]

nah ryu as in breath of fire series for the playstation lol ran outta names when writing the plot whistling2.gif

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The lack of punctuation made it a little hard to read. Breaking things up will make your story flow better. I like the premise, though. thumbsup.gif

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lol im all up for writing but ma punctuation really sucks whistling2.gif

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Just some friendly advice. thumbsup.gif Keep on writing, you'll be fine.

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It's a pretty cool story! I like apocolypse/last-stand stories. Good luck! thumbsup.gif

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The elders and the old man gathered in the hall, the boy ryu was called and brought before them not as a man not as a boy but as something else. The room had an eerie feeling surrounding it as if at any moment some spark of terror would grip the men. Ryu glancing for only a second at all the faces surrounding him including the man he thought to be father now stepped to the chair placed out for him to sit.

"Ryu as you know you are not of us, you are of the outside with memories long hidden within your mind." words echoing from the walls coming from no particular direction.

"A new age is upon us a time where the sun burns the colour of red that same colour to which your eyes burn, it is with this we ask you to let us help you uncover your memories so that in turn you would speak unto us knowledge that may explain what is happening"

Ryu looking as if carved by stone raised his head to meet the speaker all the time making no sound or facial jesture you would expect from a human man to show. Only a slow nod appeared from the boy and with that the man in the black coat emerged from the darkness.

Many hours passed all of which the man in black searching ryus mind for his past but no avail, the boy had amazing mental strength he had never met anyone who held his innermost thoughts under such control, yet the same images appeared blood, bodies, a hooded figure and the sounds of glass and screaming.

The man probed these images, most intruiged to theyre meaning till finally all hell appeared to break loose in the boys mind, a story unveiled to the man yet what he uncovered brought terrible concequences.

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Better thumbsup.gif

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Shots echoed from the hall to which the village councel had gathered, a sleepy town awoke to the screams of tortured souls a reign of gunfire poured out upon the towsfolk then suddenly ...... silence.

Inside the hall Ryu stood in a bath of blood, covered in the remains of what once he belived his father he now gasped at the tattered remains of what used to be his chest or at least where his chest once was.

"hahahahahah" a menacing laugh echoed from the darkness, blood stainded walls and mangled bodies were all that was left of the councel.

"Ah so i finally found you" hysterical ranting was heard "The boy of science, the boy of truth, the last remaining renegade!" now stepping from the shadows the once noble and almost holy like man revealed his true nature. Clutching the head of the village elder the man in the black coat no longer depicted himself as a human but moreso a monster of inexplicable evil, nostrils gaped eyes ablaze look of absolute rage.

"You know boy ive spent many a year tracking YOUR kind down but i never wouldve expected to find you let alone be alowed to delve into your mind, your thoughts, your very being itself, it rekindled a feeling i havent felt for a long long time"

"Pure unadulterated evil"

Thoughts raced in the bewildered head of the boy Ryu, what,where,why till finally a conclusion was drawn from the destruction apparant to him.

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This man, this demon had been the one who had slaughtered his father and townsfolk, it was he who purged his mind constantly asking the questions of where is it and how did it get here.

What did this mean ?? The answer simple "You die"

Ryu in blind rage put his lifes training into work finally entering battle ryu now felt alive and so began his kill to which would bring him so much pleasure.

First things first he thought i need weapons, lying near the corpse of his father lay his belt with all the tools he needed, a wry smile appeared upon his face too easy and so Ryu dived towards the guns temporarily gancing away from his assailant.

"WHACK" a kick to the ribs now sent Ryu flying across the room smashing into the support beams of the hall, blood spurting from his mouth Ryu gaped up noticing the man in black laughing insanely.

"Boy you have to learn, i am your deathdealer you cannot kill me with these mere toys of weapons you need to erm how is it the old ones said it..... oh yes wake up and smell the napalm" hysterical laughter once more "Boy you have so much untapped power yet you waste your life your very core being living the lie of being human of having emotions, YOU ARE A KILLING MACHINE DESIGNED FOR US !!!!!"

Ryu now trasfixed on the man in black couldnt believe what had happened yet his ribs lay in broken tatters blood now spattered from his mouth, the man in black had ran clean across the room in a blink of an eye...... and his strength was incomprehencable. "WHO WHAT ARE YOU"

"My dear dear boy as you are the last of your known kind of breed i shall show you rather than explain" with this the man in black tore off his cloak once shrouding his body and where a normal torso should have been lay a tangled mess of muscles no longer visible of humanity and his face. No humanity only rage now present yet his eyes seemed changed, seemed familiar, they were my eyes they were blood red the undestinguished to any other. "How can this be ? what are you ? what am i?"

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My puntuation and grammer suck nearly as bad as my spelling, I am still writing a book tho.

I love the start of your book moody angrey, and forboding. if this was a book i had picked up in a store i would buy it just from that. I love post apocoliptic 'what if' books, really set the imagination on fire.

WRITE THIS BOOK AND I WILL BUY IT

L.J.

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Red descending from the sky above now staind the room just as the blood dripped from the walls. Ryu now standing seemed transfixed on himself rather than his attacker, this only enraged the caped man.

"You dare not pay me the respect i deserve! boy you shall die a thousand deaths before i am through with you" racing towards ryu with the same furiating speed the same blind rage, the pure unadulterated, rage.

"Snap Crack" these sounds echoed across the room as Ryu's arms were snapped like twigs, yet no sound escaped ryu no glimmer of pain across his face, the same blank stare as if nothing had happened.

"What!!!! you should be begging for your life right now"

"In...side.. me??" whispered Ryu now stirring from the pile that once was his body.

"What was that boy, so now you finally awake, time for the fun"

Once again another burst of rage eminated from the once caped man and he launched his right foot towards Ryu's head surely trying to smash his skull.

Or at least it would have, if not his leg seemed to burst open.

Howls of pain escaped the maniac as he fell to the floor cradling a stump where once had been his leg.

"Ho.....w how can this be i am stronger i am faster i..... i im the winner"

"Hehehehehe you told me i had power you told me i was not human you are the one who killed the ones i loved, now you shall find out what you have awakened."

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