Helen of Annoy Posted November 18, 2012 #4551 Share Posted November 18, 2012 with bells on can tell the difference between Aramaic and Croatian so he assumed it was me. It was actually “Punk’s not dead” written in Bulgarian by guy who stole the Bible from the hotel in the first place, before Simbi got it in exchange for bag of empty bottles and wanted to give it to with bells on as a gift on their anniversary but changed her mind after she saw with bells on has forgotten about it. What kind of person forgets the first time they were collecting garbage along the side of the road together, as part of their sentences? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+joc Posted November 18, 2012 #4552 Share Posted November 18, 2012 Five Finger Helen! That;s what they still call her in her home town. Helen created alot of jobs in her home town. Every store had to hire an extra employee just to follow Helen around and make sure she didn't put on a couple of extra pounds while 'shopping'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted November 18, 2012 #4553 Share Posted November 18, 2012 It’s was joc’s fault. Once I stole him, thinking he’s just an ordinary cabbage and when I was going out the alarm went off because of all the things he had in his pockets. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+joc Posted November 18, 2012 #4554 Share Posted November 18, 2012 Helen never got cabbage at the grocery store...she always went straight to the cabbage patch...it is after all where she was born. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted November 18, 2012 #4555 Share Posted November 18, 2012 joc has a,collection of 2000 cabbage patch kids . He intends to mate them with his collection of 2000 my little ponys ,to make a new super race of bizarre ,useless toys ,that simple minded adults collect . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+joc Posted November 18, 2012 #4556 Share Posted November 18, 2012 Simbi has quite a collection of toys that adults collect...well not all adults...but some....Toys for Adults...or...Adult Toys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shiloh17 Posted November 18, 2012 #4557 Share Posted November 18, 2012 Joc used to dabble in terrorism, and he used to hang around with Obama when they were younger. Once Sarah Palin heard of that she said" Obama was palling around with terrorist". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+joc Posted November 19, 2012 #4558 Share Posted November 19, 2012 Realm was always too scared to play with the bullies on the playground at school...he prefered sitting on the sidewalk with the girls playing dolls. One day he showed up at school and was so proud to show off his own special dolly. He was the rage of the sidewalk that day, with his very own G.I. Jane doll. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted November 19, 2012 #4559 Share Posted November 19, 2012 joc is a,cat burglar . Thing is,he only steals porn and adult toys . The rumor is,he broke into Charlie Sheens house ,but there was so much stuff to steal ,he got caught .The twelve bags of toys ,magazines ,and DVDs ,weighed him down ,but trying to carry off the all the leather clothes ,is what got him caught ,because he was wearing half of it .he fell on his face ,because of the 8 inch platform heels . The cops were suspicious of the guy who looked like a reject from a Rocky Horror Show convention .tsk tsk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+joc Posted November 19, 2012 #4560 Share Posted November 19, 2012 Some time ago, Simbi Laveau was found on the doorstep of the local Fire Department. She was so cute, lying on a dainty but warm comforter, dressed in a little pink nighty top, wearing diapers, sucking on a bottle full of freshly made Baby Formula...of course they took her in from the cold. They were however somewhat perplexed as to why an adult woman would be dressed that way. She now has a safe, warm home and sleeps next to the Mascot Dalmation (who btw has 'fallen' for Simbi...paws over heels) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted November 19, 2012 Author #4561 Share Posted November 19, 2012 And it's very disturbing to see joc dressed as a dalmation. Whats more disturbing is the firemen had to put a cone around his neck because he was hurting his back by unsuccesfully trying to lick himself. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted November 19, 2012 #4562 Share Posted November 19, 2012 Speaking of successful licking yourself, OverSword is taking yoga classes. You’re almost there, almost! There's only the beer between you and the triumph. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted November 19, 2012 Author #4563 Share Posted November 19, 2012 (edited) Helen knocked on my door yesterday and asked if I was feeling flexible? She then offered to push down on my shoulders. Pictures to follow. Edit to apologize for being disgusting Edited November 19, 2012 by OverSword Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted November 19, 2012 #4564 Share Posted November 19, 2012 (edited) I’m not going to apologize for something that wasn’t my fault. It was all OverSword’s fault. If he didn’t ask for pressure, it wouldn’t be applied. If he didn’t eat a cauldron of beans, there wouldn’t be the sudden burst of gas. If he didn’t choose synthetic carpet, the static electricity wouldn’t create the spark that ignited the gas. If he wasn’t overweight, he’d come flying out the window like I did, and wouldn’t remain stuck in the frame. If he wasn’t stuck in the frame, the fire-fighters wouldn’t stop to take photos first. If they didn’t stop to take photos first, the fire wouldn’t engulf OverSword's house. But then we wouldn’t have any of pictures he's about to post, so there’s nothing I should apologize for. Edit: Except for putting coals in your Christmas stocking. I apologize in advance. Edited November 19, 2012 by Helen of Annoy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted November 19, 2012 #4565 Share Posted November 19, 2012 Oh Helen....between OSs joc is a Dalmatian ,and your only a beer between you and success ,I'm crying laughing.... Ummmm,hold ....on.composing,self. OK ....Helen and Oversword are so elated with all their yoga successes,theyve decide to seek their fortune ,by going on Americas Got Talent. The two are presently arguing over which outfits to wear. The pink sequined ones,or the gold lame ones. Helen wants the sequins ,OS wants the gold lame. Oversword won't admit it,but he's hoping to really impress the judges with his flexibility ,as he has a HUGE crush on Sharon Osbourne. His dream is to steal her away from Ozzy. Helen is clueless about this ,but that's ok,because she's got the hots for Piers Morgan . DOUBLE DATE ! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted November 19, 2012 #4566 Share Posted November 19, 2012 Want me to prove I'm psychic ? Moderators come in here and read this stuff,to get their jollies .Then they laugh amongst themselves ...."did you see the **** they're saying in there now ?" Uh uh ...I kkknnooowww..... Now they're reading this,and laughing ...oh yeah ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted November 19, 2012 Author #4567 Share Posted November 19, 2012 Want me to prove I'm psychic ? Moderators come in here and read this stuff,to get their jollies .Then they laugh amongst themselves ...."did you see the **** they're saying in there now ?" Uh uh ...I kkknnooowww..... Now they're reading this,and laughing ...oh yeah ... Yeah, believe it or not this thread has never been censored and if you go back to the first hundred pages you will see several references to vaseline coated orgies, brutal cavity searches by the police, sex with sheep both alive and dead, and many more very disturbing lies. Amazing we haven't all been booted off the site for life.OK now for the lie. Simbi Laveau can't wait for Thanksgiving. She walks around her neighborhood dressed as a lingerie clad turkey yelling at the top of her lungs "Eat me!" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted November 20, 2012 #4568 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Yeah, believe it or not this thread has never been censored and if you go back to the first hundred pages you will see several references to vaseline coated orgies, brutal cavity searches by the police, sex with sheep both alive and dead, and many more very disturbing lies. Amazing we haven't all been booted off the site for life. OK now for the lie. Simbi Laveau can't wait for Thanksgiving. She walks around her neighborhood dressed as a lingerie clad turkey yelling at the top of her lungs "Eat me!" There you go again ,posting truth about me . Victoria's Secret made the outfit for me special . Ya gotta,wonder ,why is thus game no fun,unless the lies are insulting .... Tsk tsk Aherm..... Oversword has a hair raising problem . He bought one of those No-No hair removers,for all the delicate work he needed done . Problem is ,he has a,few hard to reach areas . To facilitate this issues,he hired a team of albino pygmy Brava boys . They use his yoga talents ,to bend him into all the positions that help expose all those wild straglers . Thanks to the team ,Oversword is smooth as a babies bottom ,everywhere . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiritWriter Posted November 20, 2012 #4569 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Simbi lives in a small shack in the middle of a flat 5 acre field. She has a very large lizard that lives with her, primarily in the living room, but sometimes it likes to take hot baths. She is allergic to cats but loves them and considers them lucky, so she allows them to breed in the wild shrubbery she has loosely growing all over her land. She does not count or name them. Only she feeds them and calls them all kitty. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted November 20, 2012 Author #4570 Share Posted November 20, 2012 SpiritWriter sits around clubs, and in a very loud voice talks about how she's so drunk she could be just anybodys for the night. So far no takers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted November 20, 2012 #4571 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Except you. We told you hundred times your grandpa lied and it is important on what kind of mammal the orifice is. Or to use grandpa’s words: “Hole is a hole is a hole.” Well, it’s not. You can’t just sleep around with desperate girls, withholding from them your genome is only ¼ human, 2/5 raccoon, and the rest is still under investigation. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted November 20, 2012 Author #4572 Share Posted November 20, 2012 The truth is (truth meaning not a lie) Helen is jealous because I'll sleep with anyone but her. Trust me Helen, I'm doing you a favor, you definetly would have to call in sick to work the next day. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiritWriter Posted November 21, 2012 #4573 Share Posted November 21, 2012 The Truth is it sounds like Oversword wouldn't know what to do with a real girlfriend. And the lie is that he's made both soup and a hat out of that raccoon Helen was talking about. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted November 21, 2012 #4574 Share Posted November 21, 2012 Spirit Writer is really another secret love slave of David Petraeus . She too has a twin,but its a brother ,and her brother,is ...quite actually ,joc. We all have no idea what they see in David Petraeus ,but she's so in love with him,she bough the Raccoon hat from oversword ,to give to him for Christmas . Word is, ,Petraeus is into "furry". 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiritWriter Posted November 21, 2012 #4575 Share Posted November 21, 2012 Simbi is not exempt from the wiles of David Petraeus. She has dedicated all her cats to him, even the non-furry ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts