Blue Star Posted December 31, 2012 #5001 Share Posted December 31, 2012 SpiritWriter is actually made of origami not at all a 2 dimensional sketch....no, no but of layer upon fold, upon fold of creased paper. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted December 31, 2012 #5002 Share Posted December 31, 2012 Blue Star is really Shirley McClain . She has been monitoring the UM forum for years,waiting for the aliens to make true contact,with everyone else ,not just her . 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted December 31, 2012 #5003 Share Posted December 31, 2012 Simbi’s last contact with an alien ended up with FBI breaking through the door at 4 AM, taking Jesus to confession and calling her “possibly the mule”. Simbi said “Your mother is not possibly but certainly the mule, you ass.” So it took additional 17 hours to clear that equine mess up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted December 31, 2012 #5004 Share Posted December 31, 2012 Simbi Laveau has invented an armchair-based martial art called Taekwondon't. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted December 31, 2012 #5005 Share Posted December 31, 2012 Alan holds no belt in Taekwondon’t. He holds his brown shorts. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted December 31, 2012 #5006 Share Posted December 31, 2012 (Sorry Helen – I accidentally skipped you earlier) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiritWriter Posted December 31, 2012 #5007 Share Posted December 31, 2012 (edited) Alan's father was a worm and his mom was an overgrown fly with mutating genes. He was born out of an apple, but it was destroyed. They had to pick a fresher one for the picture. Edited December 31, 2012 by SpiritWriter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 1, 2013 #5008 Share Posted January 1, 2013 (Sorry Helen – I accidentally skipped you earlier) Don’t you worry, in a thread such as this, people should apologize for not skipping someone SpiritWriter had a role in live nativity scene. I won’t tell you who she played, but it was not baby Jesus, Mary, or any of three wise men. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted January 1, 2013 #5009 Share Posted January 1, 2013 Helen knows all three wise men ,intimately .She stinks of francensence ,mhyrr and tiger balm . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 1, 2013 #5010 Share Posted January 1, 2013 (edited) tiger balm... actually... no, on some other occasion... Simbi stole wise man’s camel while it was parked in front of my house. You think that’s bad? That’s nothing. She had zero camel riding experience which resulted with annoyed camel galloping down the road, setting off speed camera. Since camel had no license plates, all the police has is Simbi’s pretty face in not very flattering light of speed camera flash. Edited January 1, 2013 by Helen of Annoy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+joc Posted January 1, 2013 #5011 Share Posted January 1, 2013 It's a good thing Simbi stole the camel in front of Helen's house, and not the one in back...on the grill...otherwise, Helen would have had no Christmas Feast. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 1, 2013 #5012 Share Posted January 1, 2013 joc doesn’t eat ice-cream since Internet told him it’s made from snowman poop. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xYlvax Posted January 1, 2013 #5013 Share Posted January 1, 2013 Helen is really an alien. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+joc Posted January 1, 2013 #5014 Share Posted January 1, 2013 (edited) NikkiAidyn is a pschic witch who is always putting spells on my posts so she can jump in front of me. Edited January 1, 2013 by joc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 1, 2013 #5015 Share Posted January 1, 2013 joc could jump too, if the ball and chain weren't there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xYlvax Posted January 1, 2013 #5016 Share Posted January 1, 2013 Helen lives in a cave and only drinks slushes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 1, 2013 #5017 Share Posted January 1, 2013 Nikki knows because she’s renting one hole in the wall of my cave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsteroidX Posted January 1, 2013 #5018 Share Posted January 1, 2013 I put the window in the cave so Helen could get fresh air. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+joc Posted January 1, 2013 #5019 Share Posted January 1, 2013 One could suppose that blowing a hole in the wall of the cave by lighting one's fart after eating Helen's Ice cream is the same thing as installing a window... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 1, 2013 #5020 Share Posted January 1, 2013 joc, that was not ice cream. joc can’t be disgusted that easily. Once he ate from gross jar using raw chicken legs, complete with toes with nails, as forks. He did that on a dare, imagine what he would do on a bet. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+joc Posted January 1, 2013 #5021 Share Posted January 1, 2013 The raw chicken legs were all that was left. Helen used the rest of the chicken to keep her hands warm, from making ice cream ya know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 2, 2013 #5022 Share Posted January 2, 2013 joc once got lost in the wilderness and had to keep warm by standing in fresh, warm cow pies. He’d go from one cow pie to another, until farmer lost his patience, went out the house and to joc and told him to get lost. joc explained he’s already lost. In the wilderness. So joc had nice, swift ride home in ambulance, only he was a little surprised when they dumped him in psychiatry instead of at home. But it feels like home there so there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cenobite Posted January 2, 2013 #5023 Share Posted January 2, 2013 Helen or 'crazy cat woman' as i like to call her has an extensive collection of hedgehog tongues, a strange collection you might think, but in Helen's backwards village they are a sign of wealth and standing within the community. Crazy cat woman's favourties are the tongues she collected in 1956, what a year for hedgehog killing that was! FYI i call her crazy cat woman not because she has lots of cats, but because she likes to dress as a cat - not just any old cat mind you but a mexican hairless cat, she shaves of all her (copius) body hair sticks on her whiskers and tail then goes out and scares the bejesus out of the local kids, what a gal! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 2, 2013 #5024 Share Posted January 2, 2013 cenobite’s wife put a mousetrap in a jar of mayonnaise to stop him from dipping his fingers in at night. He ended up in ER because it wasn't his finger that was trapped in said mousetrap. Divorce hasn’t been filed, but now she buys only mayonnaise packed in tubes and pouches. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted January 3, 2013 Author #5025 Share Posted January 3, 2013 Helen of Annoy saves her toe nail clippings. She glues them together to create sculptures of her favorite Russian leaders, for whom she has nothing but the greatest respect 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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