+joc Posted January 6, 2013 #5051 Share Posted January 6, 2013 And what, exactly, is wrong with having a favourite assassin? When I was helping ouija ouija write her auto-biography we talked alot about assassins...she mentioned Sirhan Sirhan. She mentioned several serial killers...and then she started confessing...I don't know why...but she did. I cannot divulge (because of sworn secrecy) all the details, but I will tell you that she does love New York City and that she had a terrible crush on John Lennon and followed him everywhere...to the point that Yoko Ono had a restraining order against her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rrainn Posted January 6, 2013 #5052 Share Posted January 6, 2013 I've heard , from the highest (ha) . yes the top that Joc actually thinks that 'Yoko' not only broke up john & paul, but all so broke up Martin & Lewis, as well......... Don't blame me if you don't get this ..... geeze , I need a gin w/ a grin. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+joc Posted January 6, 2013 #5053 Share Posted January 6, 2013 rrainn needs a gin like she needs a hole in her head...speaking of holes in heads, rrainn got tired of piercing her ears, eyes, nose and throat and decided to try piercing her head...big mistake. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 6, 2013 #5054 Share Posted January 6, 2013 Why do you think it was a mistake? Because now she hears the ocean the whole time? Anyway, joc wanted one of those seashells with the sound of ocean. Since he had forgotten his wife’s birthday and their anniversary, she was very eager to give him something nice for Christmas. Especially since it was such small, cute and romantic wish. People at ER are very good in extracting the most unbelievable things and beings out of people’s ears, but never, ever before they had extracted more than 17 live fire ants out of someone’s ear, after cutting off a seashell attached to patient’s head with superglue. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted January 6, 2013 #5055 Share Posted January 6, 2013 Helen was the one that broke up The Spice Girls ,the Back Street Boys ,and The Wu Tang Clan. . RZA and Scary Spice threatened to kill her,if their band's didn't reunite . She used tasers to get the spice girls back together,but its not working with Wu Tang. RZA put a hit out on Helen ,this is why she wears the hatopus .It's really an elaborate disguise,so she doesn't end up with a cap in her ass. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 6, 2013 #5056 Share Posted January 6, 2013 Simbi killed seven octopuses so far in attempts to get me and collect the other half of second-handed Nokia. Yes, I know it’s cheap but times are tough, recession, crisis, unemployed hit men everywhere... if I'm not offended with the price, you shouldn't be either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiritWriter Posted January 6, 2013 #5057 Share Posted January 6, 2013 Helens face is covered now so you would never really know but she is really Jan Brady. The octopus got stuck because of her braces. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 6, 2013 #5058 Share Posted January 6, 2013 SW once swallowed a bubble gum to see if it will make a bubble when exiting. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted January 6, 2013 #5059 Share Posted January 6, 2013 Helen invented the number 100! Up until then, the cavemen made a clicking noise after every 99. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiritWriter Posted January 7, 2013 #5060 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Acute Alan's favorite past time is kite flying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted January 7, 2013 Author #5061 Share Posted January 7, 2013 SpiritWriter met me for lunch at Noodle Zone. In an effort to impress me she says check this out out OverSword, and proceeded to slurp up all of her spaghetti in one suck! I think i may be in love 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cenobite Posted January 7, 2013 #5062 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Oversword had my baby (again) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 7, 2013 #5063 Share Posted January 7, 2013 cenobite had no idea his wife tattooed “AIDS positive” on his back while he was sleeping. When his boyfriend asked him, rather shocked, about it, cenobite said it doesn't mean he has AIDS, only that he has positive attitude towards people with AIDS. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PlanB Posted January 7, 2013 #5064 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Helen refuses to use hallways and elevators whenever she's in an office building. Instead, she prefers to crawl through the ventilation shafts because it makes her feel like "Die Hard". 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 7, 2013 #5065 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I regularly bump into PlanB in said shafts and he doesn’t want to crawl in reverse. He says he’s the wide load so I should go in reverse. Once we fell out through the ceiling in attempt to settle this traffic disagreement like grownup people, punching each other in the face. I landed on my feet, only they were in front of my face instead of under my ass at that moment, but it was still better than PlanB’s nosedive into paper shredder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PlanB Posted January 7, 2013 #5066 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Helen always lands on her feet. She does this by taping cats to her feet. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Star Posted January 7, 2013 #5067 Share Posted January 7, 2013 PlanB knows this to be so because he's the cat catcher who collects for H of A. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grendals_bane Posted January 7, 2013 #5068 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Blue Star makes all her own clothes from the hair she finds in the plug hole of her bath. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Star Posted January 8, 2013 #5069 Share Posted January 8, 2013 grendals-bane is just well jell .......because he only has his to collect from down the toilet. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grendals_bane Posted January 8, 2013 #5070 Share Posted January 8, 2013 But only because Blue Star dismantled my bath to get at a nice clump of hair that escaped down the u-bend 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Star Posted January 8, 2013 #5071 Share Posted January 8, 2013 grendals-bane only likes 'S' bends or he was well up to diving in and grabbing it for himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PlanB Posted January 8, 2013 #5072 Share Posted January 8, 2013 Blue Star is unable to bend at the waist due to terrible hula hoop accident some time ago where she was the only survivor. If you try to bring this up around her, she'll simply look off into the distance while gently swaying her hips. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+joc Posted January 8, 2013 #5073 Share Posted January 8, 2013 Plan B was the perp who injected nitro-glycerin into BlueStar's Hula Hoop. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PlanB Posted January 8, 2013 #5074 Share Posted January 8, 2013 joc likes to call everyone "perp" because it makes him feel like he's on the classic police drama NYPD: Blue. Unfortunately, this also leads to gratuitous butt shots of him. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 8, 2013 #5075 Share Posted January 8, 2013 PlanB claims he’s his own twin brother. He’s so skilled and persuasive even his mother now believes she had twins, and it’s only pure coincidence she never saw both of them at the same time. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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