Simbi Laveau Posted January 23, 2013 #5176 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Simbi Laveau was recently spotted in the audience of the Jerry Springer Show chanting 'JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!' Dude ,this is very true . I'm serious . I'm on film ,and I even make a comment to a guest at the end . No one I know saw it air ,and then a rockstar pal of mine saw it down in Texas ,and I get this hysterical text message . He was with a bunch of other musicians .No idea who ,but he's pointing at the screen going ,I KNOW HER !, Ive even flown to Chicago to see Jerry . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted January 23, 2013 #5177 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Oversword has also been on Maury Povich ten times ,because he's got all these baby mamas . This is why he's always at work when he's on UM. He's needs 20 hours overtime a week,to keep up with his child support payments . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted January 23, 2013 Author #5178 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Simbi got her start on the New York music scene when Jon Bon Jovi promised to make her a back-up singer if she would take his poodle for a walk and pick up his poop. He was lying of course and never even gave her an audition and doesn't even remember who she is even though they've been introduced 15 times, but every time Simbi gets drunk it's just on and on about how she should've been Bon Jovi's back-up singer and also how 'She's a Little Run Away' was written about her. I don't know how many times there has been a drunken message of the following on my answering machine Ooh, she's a little runaway. Daddy's girl learned fast All those things he couldn't say. Ooh, she's a little runaway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 23, 2013 #5179 Share Posted January 23, 2013 It was OverSword leaving drunk messages on his own answering machine. Pretending he can’t recognize his own voice. When he’s not singing he’s begging his own self forgiveness in voice that is supposed to sound like his ex-girlfriend. Nothing to be ashamed of, we all believe in the truth that pleases us the most, not the one that is the closest to what actually happened. (The problem is that his drunken alter-ego is planning to leave a message from his landlord, letting him know he doesn't have to pay rent from now on.) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keel M. Posted January 23, 2013 #5180 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Helen despises cars of all kinds and has secretly been plotting to destroy them all and bomb every last car manufacturing facility around the world forcing us all back to cycling, busing or riding a train. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 23, 2013 #5181 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Lady Kasey deliberately forgot to mention donkey riding, because she had broken pride after trying to ride a donkey during crossing the Rocky Mountains for the first time. Her first time, not historically first, she’s not that old which is obvious from the fact that she can’t ride a donkey. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted January 24, 2013 #5182 Share Posted January 24, 2013 (edited) Simbi got her start on the New York music scene when Jon Bon Jovi promised to make her a back-up singer if she would take his poodle for a walk and pick up his poop. He was lying of course and never even gave her an audition and doesn't even remember who she is even though they've been introduced 15 times, but every time Simbi gets drunk it's just on and on about how she should've been Bon Jovi's back-up singer and also how 'She's a Little Run Away' was written about her. I don't know how many times there has been a drunken message of the following on my answering machine Ooh, she's a little runaway. Daddy's girl learned fast All those things he couldn't say. Ooh, she's a little runaway. The fact you know the lyrics ,is beyond telling . *gigglies* Oh and,he's from New jersey ,not the NY scene. Yes,we ny scene people are very specific about this . Bon jovi ,Springsteen ,even Madonna ,NOT FROM NYC ....ahem....yes,we are a snotty grew in nyc . Edited January 24, 2013 by Simbi Laveau Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted January 24, 2013 #5183 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Helen is a tattoo artist in her spare time ,and in a drunken blackout,tattooed an exact replica of lady Kaseys donkey ,on overswords butt. He was just as drunk .Lady Kasey just laughed maniacally,as Helen is not a good tattoo artist . Said tattoo looked more like a ferret ,than a,donkey . Oversword has a hard time explaining it to his groupies . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indiogene Posted January 24, 2013 #5184 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Simbi comes from a small town in Iowa pretending to come from NYC... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted January 24, 2013 #5185 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Tsa la gie oyate (say that ten times fast !) yearns to be a power ranger ,but is completely torn as to which color . Pink ranger ? Yellow ranger ,green ?!? Black !??! In the mean time, Tsa la stays at home all day and practices coool power ranger yells and poses(in the mirror of course) ,while waiting for the producers to call . Going on year 11 of waiting,but Tsa la is sssuuurrreee the call is coming . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rrainn Posted January 24, 2013 #5186 Share Posted January 24, 2013 oh well yeah.... clearly simbi can play the of the roll of a rock star ......... Yep! I saw it you tripped . he'd be better off if some one told him that he needs to be famous first ..........and can't come to grips with just who is martin & lewis are............ooops! there goes the wig! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted January 24, 2013 Author #5187 Share Posted January 24, 2013 (edited) rrainn clogs the drain in the bathtub every time she shaves her legs (btw Simbi, I know he's from Jersey, and I know you're in love with him and that you've also got a huge thing for Johnny Thunder) Edited January 24, 2013 by OverSword 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted January 24, 2013 #5188 Share Posted January 24, 2013 OverSword is absolutely beside himself with jealousy at this precise moment. He knows that if he hears Simbi mention her fantasy lovers one more time he's probably going to die from jealousy. Unfortunately, he is at work at the moment and colleagues are looking at him writhing about on the floor, red in the face, ripping at his clothes and biting his wrists, wondering what it is all about and trying to decide whether to call 'security' or the emergency services. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 24, 2013 #5189 Share Posted January 24, 2013 ouija voted they call security. Not out of spite or any ill intention, she simply believes shock therapy is the best therapy when love and related mental illnesses are in question. Why going through bureaucratic hell in order to shock someone back to mental health if you can have him tasered for free and no paper work at all. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted January 24, 2013 #5190 Share Posted January 24, 2013 (edited) ouija voted they call security. Not out of spite or any ill intention, she simply believes shock therapy is the best therapy when love and related mental illnesses are in question. Why going through bureaucratic hell in order to shock someone back to mental health if you can have him tasered for free and no paper work at all. I actually laughed out loud when I read this Helen is especially keen that security are called rather than emergency services because she is Head of Security in OverSword's office block ............ oops! he wasn't supposed to know that. Er, too late ..... sorry, Helen . Helen only applied for the job because it means she gets to taser whoever she wants, whenever she wants. In fact she has been known to taser herself in quiet times. Also takes it home with her at weekends. Edited January 24, 2013 by ouija ouija 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tipotep Posted January 24, 2013 #5191 Share Posted January 24, 2013 I actually laughed out loud when I read this Helen is especially keen that security are called rather than emergency services because she is Head of Security in OverSword's office block ............ oops! he wasn't supposed to know that. Er, too late ..... sorry, Helen . Helen only applied for the job because it means she gets to taser whoever she wants, whenever she wants. In fact she has been known to taser herself in quiet times. Also takes it home with her at weekends. Ouija has been using her taser for .. well not so savoury uses , she usually gives herself a zap in the bedroom so she can be an electric charged fornicating machine , unfortunately last time she tried it the result was not as expected , she accidently tased her ear off and now she is having trouble hearing out of the new prosthetic replacement . Please read the instructions before use ! TiP. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted January 24, 2013 Author #5192 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Tip is the administrator on a web-site dedicated to alternative sexual kink practices and the safest most discreet ways to satisfy yourself under dangerous conditions and with pokey objects. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tipotep Posted January 24, 2013 #5193 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Tip is the administrator on a web-site dedicated to alternative sexual kink practices and the safest most discreet ways to satisfy yourself under dangerous conditions and with pokey objects. Oversword happens to be my number 1 customer , his user name is nothingisofflimits . As his user name suggests he buys everything that we have for sale , he has cleaned me out of squash balls and gerbils this month . You had best keep your ordering to a minimum this month buddy , what is it you do will 100 squash balls a month ? TiP. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted January 24, 2013 Author #5194 Share Posted January 24, 2013 (edited) Just check my member page (blush) Tipoteps user name on his fetish website is 'Granny Packer' Every year he attends the wrinkle convention in Las Vegas Nevada, BYOC (bring your own crisco) Every wrinkle is a new experince according to tip. Here is a picture of his date for 2013 Hot stuff Tip, way better than last year. Edited January 24, 2013 by OverSword 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiritWriter Posted January 25, 2013 #5195 Share Posted January 25, 2013 (edited) This guy picked me up this morning. I was standing on the corner and he just pulled over. Something came over me and I got into the back seat of the car. I didnt say anything, didnt even smile. He kept looking at me in the rear view mirror. He kinda smiled, kinda blushed and I could hear him in my mind. He was saying "its me! Its Oversword". I could understand him but didnt let on to it. He dropped me off at QFC which was exactly where i was going. And that was it, i didnt say goodbye, i didnt wave, just got out of the car and went into the store. I looked around when I came out but he was gone. Kinda wierd if you ask me... What was your impression of the experience Oversword? Edited January 25, 2013 by SpiritWriter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tipotep Posted January 25, 2013 #5196 Share Posted January 25, 2013 This guy picked me up this morning. I was standing on the corner and he just pulled over. Something came over me and I got into the back seat of the car. I didnt say anything, didnt even smile. He kept looking at me in the rear view mirror. He kinda smiled, kinda blushed and I could hear him in my mind. He was saying "its me! Its Oversword". I could understand him but didnt let on to it. He dropped me off at QFC which was exactly where i was going. And that was it, i didnt say goodbye, i didnt wave, just got out of the car and went into the store. I looked around when I came out but he was gone. Kinda wierd if you ask me... What was your impression of the experience Oversword? SpiritWriter was indeed standing on the corner ... but why you may ask ? She was waiting for someone to come along ( anyone ) and it just happened to be OverSword on this way back from the post office , he was picking up his latest delivery of products from " TipsToys " . Once SpiritWriter found out that OverSword was packing all manner of wild accessories the gloves came off . It was like a scene from UFC84 , there was claret flying all over the place , In the end OverSword had to hand over half of his delivery and he also had to walk home wearing his gimp costume and nothing else . TiP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiritWriter Posted January 25, 2013 #5197 Share Posted January 25, 2013 And tip knows this because he was a bug on the dashboard.. now he's a bug in the computer. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted January 25, 2013 Author #5198 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Oh I'm so tempted to dive int the realm of inappropriateness right now. When spirit writer climbed into the back seat of my car uninvited I thought I was a dead man. I'm thinking 'Crazy lady in the back seat, probably got a gun, I'm dead, I wish I told my mother I loved her the last time we spoke' Then when I stopped at the light near the QFC (that's a grocery store in the state of Washington for all you foriegners) she got out and went shopping. I didn't know until I read the post it was SW trying to project her thoughts into my mind. If I had known it was her I would have told her I would be at the Rock Box around 5:30 or 6:00 tonite with some co-workers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted January 25, 2013 #5199 Share Posted January 25, 2013 (edited) OverSword had to clean his house expecting the paranormality to escalate into a date with SpiritWriter. Because if she accepts the innocent invitation to a late cup of cafe late... you can’t let her walk into gerbil infested storage of balls, rubber dolls dressed up into... ahem. So he brought his gerbils to work, claiming they will boost productivity by making people scream and jump on chairs and desks. Nothing helps the working atmosphere like sudden rodent touch on and up your leg. Rest of the gear made to the top 5 strangest donations to Red Cross, but not to the no.1. Edit: caffe latte. languages had a little fight inside my brain. Edited January 25, 2013 by Helen of Annoy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted January 25, 2013 Author #5200 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Yeah, that was pretty passive aggressive of me wasn't it...I now feel like less than a real man. Helen of Annoy built a jetpack because she's tired of being shorter than everyone all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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