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OverSword

[Archived] Make up a lie about poster above

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Helen puts a rubber glove on her jead and walks around the house clucking like a chicken.

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Filthy lie! I usually put a funnel on my head. Sometimes a bucket. Or a pot. It doesn't really matter what, I'm not picky.

OverSword has explanation for everything he did. I meant to say, he didn’t do.

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OverSword was the first one to do this trick with a condom on his jead, Oooops sorry Head.

OOOOPS, Hells bells, that pesky kid jumped in before I could scramble some words together.

Ahhhhhhh!

What to say about Helen of Annoy??????

HoA........Has hairy feet....on her soles that is, very unusual indeed.

Edited by Blue Star
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That’s nothing, Blue Star used to have hooves. Then she asked Little Mermaid for advice and got her human feet the same way Little Mermaid got hers. In exchange for excruciating pain. Then Disney destroyed the original fairytale, which was about pain that comes with womanhood and now no one will believe me when I tell you the truth and nothing but the truth, except maybe few hyperboles.

Edit: and losing her tongue, mind you, if a little mermaid wants to be an adult woman and get married she has to lose her tongue. Jesus patriarchal Christ, I feel like b****slapping Hans Christian Andersen right now...

Edited by Helen of Annoy
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Helen has alloy wheels gauged in her earlobes and goes face first as she drives down the street. Her toes tag along behind moving very rapidly against the concrete while her body is straight and elevated above the ground.

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SpiritWriter has so many body piercings that she jingles when she walks down the street and everyone thinks she's one of Santas Riendeer.

Edited by OverSword
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Truth is, OverSword is one of santa's reindeer...He's the one dragging along at the back, getting all the other reindeers number two's in his face, as they fly through the air with the greatest of ease.......Or is that some dude on a flying trapeze???? Whatever....The other reindeer call him pooh face, self explanatory why really. Poof for short.

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Blue Star cured my disorder that made me mention excrements of any kind in every single thread I’ve ever participated.

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Helen doesn't have body piercings ,but she claims to do them,for a small fee.

She lures unsuspecting teenage fools into her lair...err home,and leads them into her basement ....where she keeps her "piercer equipment".

She only has one thing she uses to piece ....,she pierces them with her favorite iron maiden .

She bought the thing at Elizabeth Bathorys garage sale ....along with a few of Liz' favorite vein scissors .

All those kids you see on the back of milk cartons ...yup. Helens "clients".

Edited by Simbi Laveau
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Elizabeth Bathorys garage sale :lol:

When I finally come into position where I will be able to quit my job, I will seriously put a sign on my office door that reads exactly that :lol:

Maybe I’ll work with Simbi in her voodoo salon. She does your and your enemy’s hair.

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Elizabeth Bathorys garage sale :lol:

When I finally come into position where I will be able to quit my job, I will seriously put a sign on my office door that reads exactly that :lol:

Maybe I’ll work with Simbi in her voodoo salon. She does your and your enemy’s hair.

Marie Laveau (voodoo queen of new orleans) ,was actually a hairdresser you know .

:)

And you should see the stuff I got at Vlad Tepes garage sale ....

You should admit it Helen ,you're a Twihard ,on team Jacob .

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Simbi walks the streets of Manhattan collecting cats. Not because she's a cat lady but because she makes a pretty good living selling live cats to asian restaruants.

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Oversword owns over 500 barbie dolls. He's been collecting them since he was 7 years old, and a little girl!

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Old Man Waffles lives under a bridge and makes horrible fartty sounds when people walk over it.

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Oversword lives in a dumpster, only popping his head out to occasionally snatch cats and small children, so he has something to eat!

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Marie Laveau (voodoo queen of new orleans) ,was actually a hairdresser you know .

:)

And you should see the stuff I got at Vlad Tepes garage sale ....

You should admit it Helen ,you're a Twihard ,on team Jacob .

I didn’t know. I’m ****en psychic. Useless info only. God forbid I’d pick up something useful.

Old Man Waffles doesn’t ever eat. Hshe lives on air, sunshine and beauty. And liquid fertilizer, but we won't mention it because it doesn't sound profound.

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Helen paints her toenails so noblody can tell they're black and green.

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Noblody is my new favourite English word :lol:

OverSword had herpes but only for two hours. That’s how long it took for viruses to realize where they have landed and to evacuate. Seven of them were crushed to death in stampede, which is admirable if you take their numbers and the intensity of panic into account.

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Helen has gangrene on her face. It started in her mouth and gradually spread throughout the years. She finally went to the doctors, knowing she would have to deal with it soon (overswords coming over for christmas, it will be their first "official" date after months of cyber communication) she was horrified to find out she will have to have an emergency nose-indectimy.she hasnt told oversword yet (so I hope he's not looking - cross your fingers helen ;) ) shes called the prayer hotline for help, she promised a lady shed get baptized in the name of jesus if she would donate her nose for surgery. Its approximately the right size and shape. The lady hasn't agreed yet, she said she'll pray about it and talk it over with her pastor.

Edited by SpiritWriter
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After reading that I'm from Seattle Spirit Writer moved here. Now she walks around West Lake Center scanning the crowd, wondering, 'which one could be OverSword, it must surely be one of the better looking men'?

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OverSword stands on a chair to make it easier for SpiritWritier to spot him.

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Geezeee, Oh Low. That poor thing above,...yes its true... its an Octipiem upon her head. humm. I try & try to speak with her

ah.. but to no aveil..... she screams ...wait .... what... who is tha......wait ... i can't...

yes , it is all so true that she claims to be from Enland (ack!) however, I 've hear she's as Irish as me..... Oh low.....

tisk-tisk..... :unsure2:

Kackle!!! * it's not so cold here I a have arrived............*

Edited by rrainn
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rrain is not Irish. She was, but she was excommunicated after it was discovered she can’t sing or at least mumble one Irish song.

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I hear they are going to make Helen honorary Irish citizen because she drinks like one.

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I already have Irish in-laws though one of my cousins. Not my first cousin, and it’s Australian Irish, but still, family is family and Irish are Irish.

OverSword is fasting so he can’t toast with anything alcoholic. Therefore he takes the trash out because anyone else would get lost from here to the bin. Not to mention going back. With no flashlight. Or compass. Or map. Have I told you about that guy who drank the alcohol out of compass?

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