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OverSword

[Archived] Make up a lie about poster above

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Confused again this year, cenobite dressed as the easter bunny on Christmas. His children, being much smarter than he, pointed out his error. In a rage a yelled "Bullocks to this Santa aint even real then anyway now is he!" Children crying, holiday memories ruined, cenobite ended up down to the pub where he could finally enjoy a little quiet time and had a happy Christmas.

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OverSword woke up with reindeer horns. No, not plush ones. These were made of plastic. No, not on his head. These were lodged... ahem.

Anyway, now they’ve been safely removed and he has nice retro coat hanger for his living room that is also his kitchen, bathroom and everything else. What not to love about trailers? Everything is always at hand and you can’t get lost, no matter how drunk you are.

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Trailers really aren't that great but they are better that where Helen lives. A hole 1.5 meters deep covered by plywood. During the rainy season it's not very comfortable but Helen insists that since Croatians are stronger than other people that it doesn't bother her.

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Oversword rents Helens abode every vacation .

He enjoys sitting in the dark ,while rain seeps through the plywood cracks ,and drips on his hair.

Then he cries he has no detangler for his locks .

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Simbi is jealous because we rented her the chicken coop for the same price. Don't be jealous, OverSword has to leave rats when the vacation is over, while you get to take your complimentary poultry lice with you.

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Helen can often be found eating poultry lice

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Cenobite flosses his teeth with poultry lice.

Difficult yes,impossible no ,is his credo

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Simbi sold those to cenobite only after he signed he will treat them humanely and have them micro-chipped.

Of course, he micro-waved them when he was done picking his teeth.

Now they both claim to be dislexyc and didn't know the difference: cenobite between micro-chipping and micro-waving, Simbi between neutering and ripping all his guts out.

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Helen is her villages foremost worm charmer

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Cenobite is sad because Helen won't give his worm the time of day

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Where as Simbi has devolped an almost stalker level of addiction from playing with Cenobites worm too much.

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grendals_bane owns special scuba gear for use in sceptic tanks.

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Oversword is a fisherman

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Spirit Writer believes herself to be a super hero since she got sketchers that light up when she walks.

Edited by OverSword
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OverSword politely asks waitresses if he can take a photo of them, and if they would be so kind to sign their photos, because he’s sure one day they’ll be movie stars and that photo will make him rich. If that doesn’t work, he adds: “But still I wouldn’t sell it to anyone, no matter how much they offer.”

He actually got laid with that strategy once.

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OverSword politely asks waitresses if he can take a photo of them, and if they would be so kind to sign their photos, because he’s sure one day they’ll be movie stars and that photo will make him rich. If that doesn’t work, he adds: “But still I wouldn’t sell it to anyone, no matter how much they offer.”

He actually got laid with that strategy once.

Mind if I use that in real life? :ph34r:

Helen of Annoy's husband likes her to scratch his back with the callusus on her heels.

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Well, what do you have to lose? :D

You can only get something, from a smile to a restraining order.

OverSword has calluses on his chin and cheek, from resting his head in open palm of his hand while staring at the screen, pretending he’s thinking.

Occasionally, he squints, that makes people get an impression of really focused intellectual work.

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In the beginning there was darkness on the face of the deep, and lord spake, and said let there be light, and there was light, and then with the light it was revealed unto him that there also be Helen of Annoy, and he spaketh again and yelled, oh crap! Turn off the light! It's too early for this!

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:lol: Not my fault!

OverSword was the drop that spilleth lord’s cup and he kicketh my ass back to Earth. *wiggles eyebrows*

Edit: adding some biblically dramatic effect

Edited by Helen of Annoy

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Actually Helen can't *wiggles eyebrows* because she only has one eyebrow.

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Because OverSword was plucking his nose hair with my tweezers.

Not that I’m easily disgusted, I’d wash them and keep using them, but he destroyed them, pulling the monstrous 3-inchers out of his nose. And now I'm doomed to Frieda Kahlo look until Monday, because I have better things to do over weekend but to shop for tweezers.

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Spirit Writer believes herself to be a super hero since she got sketchers that light up when she walks.

Hell yeah I do and Oversword came and picked me up in stockings after throwing rocks at my window. I had to untangle his cape from the tree branches. He said sorry that we couldn't go flying.

Helen is piping hot mad because she dressed up every day like lois lane but all she got to do was take pictures.

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Yup. And what's worse, it's pictures of SpiritWriter holding her hairdo with her arms most of the day. And what’s worse2, no one believes me this is what she actually looks like. People say it’s impossible, it’s 2D and I tell them they are so easily spoiled, 3D is relatively new and not everyone can afford it yet.

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,Helen always wanted light up sketchers,but the local sneaker store closes up every time they see Helen coming .

No one knows why .

Helen decided to take matters into her own hands .

.She steals hair off Spirit writers head,and over swords nose trimmings,and mixes them in with her eyebrow hairs,for a lush thick hand woven shoe,much like the ones otzi the iceman wears .

She took strands of old battery operated Xmas lights ,and fit them inbetween the huge tufts of hair ,and voila _! Hand made sketchers

Edited by Simbi Laveau
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Frozen Fritz Footwear, Simbi would kill for a pair.

I’m afraid to go to sleep, expecting her to jump from under the bed (I know you’re there, I can see you size 11 feet sticking out) and steal mine.

In other words, Simbi is currently posting from under my bed. Preying on my hand-crafted shoes. It doesn’t get any lower than that.

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