Helen of Annoy Posted January 31, 2013 #5226 Share Posted January 31, 2013 OverSword sells brooms for living according to that logic. But that’s not truth, the real truth is that OS is hamster tamer. He gets hurt on his dangerous job rather often, but one of his scars is particularly scary. I can’t tell you where that scar is because that would ruin the surprise he has for you on your first date. Sometimes he says it’s from cobra fangs, not rodent front teeth and you wouldn’t believe how many people can’t tell the difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiritWriter Posted January 31, 2013 #5227 Share Posted January 31, 2013 (edited) Helens supply has multiplied quite exorbuntly since the first. Overswords new years resolution was to take his snake taming religion more seriously and leave the gerbils alone. Alone with all the rodents and a with a depletion of funds, helen got creative with her meals. She has a new favorite soup and has had shishkabobs three times this week... its a step in the wrong direction for some, but not a total plunder.. after all they are quite delicious, disease free and fresh.. Edited January 31, 2013 by SpiritWriter 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted February 2, 2013 #5228 Share Posted February 2, 2013 SpiritWriter believes there are disease free and fresh shishkabobs. In reality, all fresh shishkabobs are required to rest somewhere, preferably in a flooded grave, for at least 4 days before they can be reheated to acquire that rubbery texture before they’re offered to patrons. That’s why SW can’t replicate the right shishkabob taste at home and she was contemplating suicide because of that. Well, now you know what’s missing from your recipe. A flooded grave. Can be substituted with vat of sour cabbage gone weirdly-sour with grey spots as opposed to usually-sour with white spots. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiritWriter Posted February 2, 2013 #5229 Share Posted February 2, 2013 (edited) Helen misinterprets the extremety of my depression over the shishkabobs.. I am a vegetagian after all and only refused the cabage because it was rotton. I do still eat seafood however and that is why you should probably run for your life... I am severely hungry. Edited February 2, 2013 by SpiritWriter 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted February 2, 2013 #5230 Share Posted February 2, 2013 My hatopus wouldn’t be the first hat SpiritWriter ate. Once she ate a hat because she lost a bet, but that was only symbolically, she took only a bite. The other time was more serious, she ate a whole hat because she was drunk and it smelled of tofu and she was severely hungry too. Again. In her defence, she found it on subway floor so her intoxicated mind somehow associated that with subway sandwiches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiritWriter Posted February 5, 2013 #5231 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Helens stories have been so psychicly accurate that several UM members have stopped posting on this thread in fear she will read thier minds and expose all thier secrets... Don't be afraid people! We'll still assume they are lies! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PlanB Posted February 5, 2013 #5232 Share Posted February 5, 2013 SpiritWriter's profile pic is an actual photograph of her. She stepped out of a comic book like a-ha's "Take On Me" music video. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiritWriter Posted February 6, 2013 #5233 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Plans b's pills expired and his girl bunnies are expecting.. he's trying to get out of the responsibility but cant seem to out-hop the small, funny shaped, red eyed clouds that keep swooping down from the sky to attack him... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted February 6, 2013 #5234 Share Posted February 6, 2013 (edited) SpiritWriter married Hugh Hefner. Out of love. (Serve you right for mentioning girl bunnies.) Edited February 6, 2013 by Helen of Annoy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted February 6, 2013 #5235 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Helen is only saying mean things about SpiritWriter because she(Helen), went for an interview to become a Playboy bunny and they told the hatopus 'we'll hire you if you ditch the broad'! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiffSplitkins Posted February 6, 2013 #5236 Share Posted February 6, 2013 ouija ouija is a connoisseur of Neanderthal Opera. She has every DVD ever recorded. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted February 6, 2013 Author #5237 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Biff is a well known Plagiarist. Most of the music he writes and claims for his own was actually written by Boy George. Biff got hold of it by stealing Boy Georges purse from the tour bus. Just what Biff was doing on Boy George's tour bus we don't want to know for the image would be burned into our minds forever *shivers* 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted February 6, 2013 #5238 Share Posted February 6, 2013 OverSword thinks he can orientate in the dark using his sense of smell. This is why he tried to take no.2 in my sour cabbage vat. This and his tiny alcohol abuse problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OverSword Posted February 7, 2013 Author #5239 Share Posted February 7, 2013 As it turns out, the way Helen cooks I actually improved the taste. Best cabbage she ever cooked 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiritWriter Posted February 7, 2013 #5240 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Oversword smells like doo doo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keel M. Posted February 7, 2013 #5241 Share Posted February 7, 2013 SpiritWriter actually lives in the Japanese town where the statue of David was recently unveiled and she's the one who first suggested that the statue needed underwear... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted February 7, 2013 #5242 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Lady Kasey doesn’t believe in underwear. It stops natural blood flow and prevents equally natural airing of parts of the body that need it the most. That’s why she has everything ready for midnight ass liberation action in case they dress David. Or any other statue for that matter. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted February 8, 2013 #5243 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Lady Kasey has no choice but to 'not believe in underwear' because Helen stole all hers. Actually, I've just sussed out Helen's cunning plan: she has made it her goal and new obsession hobby to steal all the underwear belonging to everyone who posts in 'Fun and Games'. She started with OverSword's and was nearly gassed hooked! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted February 9, 2013 #5244 Share Posted February 9, 2013 It’s for the science! I’m planning to sew them all together in a paraglider and travel around the world in one unsuccessful attempt that will last 8 hours, complete with preparations. ouija was the first person who tried paragliding around the world, but her glider got caught in wind chime right after takeoff from her roof. People told her the problem was in the insufficient altitude but she keeps insisting it’s the chime that ruined it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiritWriter Posted February 11, 2013 #5245 Share Posted February 11, 2013 Helen keeps all the farts in bottles thats why shes been able to stay in the air so long. She has a long tube that funnels in all the underwear so she can keep going. She hasnt perfected it yet but is getting pretty close. Watch out Wright Brothers! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted February 11, 2013 #5246 Share Posted February 11, 2013 SpiritWriter invented the automatic microwave oven. Until then, the turntable had to be cranked manually by a peasant. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted February 11, 2013 #5247 Share Posted February 11, 2013 (edited) by a peasant... acute alan was approached by plastic surgeon with free Botox offer, if he agrees his photos "before and after" are used in advertising. And alan accepted, but the "after" photo is the one you can see in his avatar. So the surgeon is suing alan for the full price of botox treatment now and alan is suing him for malpractice, because – you thankfully can’t see that – his ass is perfectly smooth and he has no control over any muscles back there. It should come back to normal in few months, but in the meantime who’s going to pay for diapers? Not to mention the emotional distress? Edited February 11, 2013 by Helen of Annoy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiritWriter Posted February 11, 2013 #5248 Share Posted February 11, 2013 Fake booties are helens specialty, she has three in the drawer, two in her purse, one under her skirt, two in the shop and one on layaway. She has a different shape and size for every occasion. Today she's wearing "The Aggresive Blonde". 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted February 11, 2013 #5249 Share Posted February 11, 2013 SpiritWriter swore never to drink again after she stumbled upon video of herself on YouTube, lapdancing empty bench in the park. Comments prove that you’re not the only one who thinks there was a guy sitting there in the beginning but he successfully run away while SW was in the trance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiritWriter Posted February 11, 2013 #5250 Share Posted February 11, 2013 Helen let me borrow "The Get Down, Get Low" booty for that little number. She offered it to me because she had heard raving reviews about my mojo and wanted some of my left over juice. You couldn't tell by the video but the drunk man was actually running from "The Creature" who was anxiously waiting in the bushes near by. He later told Youtube reporters he had seen what appeared to be a half man - half purple squid drooling heavily with his hands extended in a groping manner which had caused him to flee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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