+ouija ouija Posted September 24, 2012 #2776 Share Posted September 24, 2012 It isn't real! How can I light an imaginary beacon? (And if anyone says 'with an imaginary torch', I will cuff them severely about the ears) Rustle up a scrummy vegetarian meal for me, please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junior Chubb Posted September 24, 2012 #2777 Share Posted September 24, 2012 (edited) Well seeing as somebody changed the thread to 'wake up and smell the coffee' it only seems right that I tell you there is no such thing as a scrummy vegetarian meal, how can I make an imaginary meal? Could you rustle me up a scrummy vegetarian, I bet that is more than possible... Edited September 24, 2012 by Junior Chubb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted September 24, 2012 #2778 Share Posted September 24, 2012 Vegetarians don't exist. How can I rustle up an imaginary person? Rustle me up a meal-for-2 for one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted September 24, 2012 #2779 Share Posted September 24, 2012 (edited) I don't serve abomination portions. Go to McDon’talds. They’ll give you one for two for the price of three. Can I has Poland... oh, damn, fries, can I has fries with that? Edited September 24, 2012 by Helen of Annoy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junior Chubb Posted September 24, 2012 #2780 Share Posted September 24, 2012 No fries today, Spongbob has run away with the Spachelor. Can you set me a 'Top Gear' challenge involving a Reliant Robin... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted September 24, 2012 #2781 Share Posted September 24, 2012 No, I can’t, I stopped playing with cars few decades ago. About the same time I stopped ripping heads off dolls after I dug their eyes out. I hate dolls. They remind me of people. I’ll give you coordinates, would you dig something out for me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted September 24, 2012 #2782 Share Posted September 24, 2012 'Coordinates'? Hmm, I dunno Helen, I'm more of a 'mix 'n' match' girl really. I just put on whichever clothes I fancy when I get up in the morning. Anyway, I shouldn't think anything of yours would fit me ....... sorry. Read my palm for me, please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junior Chubb Posted September 24, 2012 #2783 Share Posted September 24, 2012 (edited) I would but there is a metal U shaped object in the way. Can you show me the way to go home... Edited September 24, 2012 by Junior Chubb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted September 24, 2012 #2784 Share Posted September 24, 2012 You're tired and you want to go to bed ....... yes? I bet you had a little drink about an hour ago, didn't you? And, let me guess: it's gone straight to your head! I don't know where you live, so I can't help you. Find a lucky charm for me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted September 25, 2012 #2785 Share Posted September 25, 2012 Unfortunately, the postal service does not accept live cargo, so I can't mail myself to you. Make me a cocktail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted September 25, 2012 #2786 Share Posted September 25, 2012 How about an 'Apple & Blackcurrant Mojita'? *gets a highball glass* I need: 50ml white rum *pours*, 12.5ml blackcurrant puree *spoons in*, 25ml green apple puree *spoons in*, cinnamon sugar *sprinkles*, 3 lime wedges to decorate ..................... oh no! I'm clean out of lime wedges!!! *tips drink down sink* Sorry Clean my windows for me ..... thnx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted September 25, 2012 #2787 Share Posted September 25, 2012 Unfortunately, being a hedgehog, I would not be able to reach your upstairs windows. Photograph my brand new 1970's dado rail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted October 1, 2012 #2788 Share Posted October 1, 2012 (edited) (Please ignore the post below) . Edited October 1, 2012 by acute alan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junior Chubb Posted October 1, 2012 #2789 Share Posted October 1, 2012 You are not allowed to make an excuse for something you asked to be done! Can you stop making excuses for your own favours? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted October 1, 2012 #2790 Share Posted October 1, 2012 It's bad form, isn't it? I try to avoid doing it whenever possible ........ let's try and keep standards up in this upmarket thread. My personal flunkey has the day off today, can you do his duties for him, please? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunn Posted October 1, 2012 #2791 Share Posted October 1, 2012 Can't. It's my day off too. Don't make a excuse for making excuses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted October 1, 2012 #2792 Share Posted October 1, 2012 Knit me a jumper like the one above. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted October 1, 2012 #2793 Share Posted October 1, 2012 I don’t want to know what epileptic seizure feels like. Not first-hand, no. Take my mobile phone for a walk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted October 2, 2012 #2794 Share Posted October 2, 2012 It's raining right now. So, if I took your phone for a walk, you would gargle when you talk. Finish everything I start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junior Chubb Posted October 2, 2012 #2795 Share Posted October 2, 2012 You can't even finish it yourself? Set a better example and I will consider finishing everything you start. Can someone put a donk on it for me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted October 2, 2012 #2796 Share Posted October 2, 2012 The best I could do would be to put a dent in it ........ I don't suppose that's any use to you , is it? Sorry Find the end of the rainbow for me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junior Chubb Posted October 2, 2012 #2797 Share Posted October 2, 2012 Here take this 'w', is that what you were after? Can someone do up my velcro shoes, I just can't get the hang of it, they are so fiddly... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted October 3, 2012 #2798 Share Posted October 3, 2012 Go barefoot. No one would notice since everyone is busy staring at your ass. That one on your face, I wouldn’t know about your ass that’s in your ass region. Sign my “burkha for Junior” petition. He’s scaring the old and scarring the young with his appearance. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted October 3, 2012 #2799 Share Posted October 3, 2012 Oooooo! It's very tempting, BUT ....... surely burkhas are for females only(except when male 'terrorists' or journalists are trying to disguise themselves), so I don't think you're going to get very far with that Choose some suitable shoes and a bag to go with this coat ........ thnx 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunn Posted October 3, 2012 #2800 Share Posted October 3, 2012 Can't do it, I'm fashion impaired by my masculinity. Look for the eye in the sky. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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