acute Posted October 4, 2012 #2801 Share Posted October 4, 2012 Unfortunately, the eye placed at the top of a pyramid is always the first bit to erode away. Grind my corn. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted October 4, 2012 #2802 Share Posted October 4, 2012 *slaps* Fry me some chips just how I like 'em! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted October 4, 2012 #2803 Share Posted October 4, 2012 Got no lard! soz. Nuke my noisy neighbor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted October 5, 2012 #2804 Share Posted October 5, 2012 We’re not in the Middle East. You can’t have people nuked just because they make noise you don't like. On a second thought, I hate noisy people. Help me help acute alan nuke his neighbour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted October 5, 2012 #2805 Share Posted October 5, 2012 Heavens! You don't need my help, I'd only get in the way. You two are more than capable of ruining a neighbour's life(and a large chunk of 'Mercia') by yourselves. I'd be saying annoying things like "Oh please wait until all the animals have left the vicinity!" and " Did everybody remember to bring a packed lunch with them?" and "Helen, have you brought any moist-wipes with you?" ....... see, it'd be hopeless. Write all my Christmas cards for me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted October 5, 2012 #2806 Share Posted October 5, 2012 Take another look at my signature. Come to conclusion that would be the most awkward Christmas ever. Ask someone else to do that for you. Buy me an urn. We’re having a barbecue tomorrow so I’d like to try it out to see how it fits the ashes of someone approximately my size. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bracket Posted November 5, 2012 Author #2807 Share Posted November 5, 2012 Urns are too expansive. The best I can afford is a coffee can. Give me a book. I've read all of mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted November 5, 2012 #2808 Share Posted November 5, 2012 I wooould, but ....... I don't know where you live. I mean, if I send it to 'Bracket, Massachusetts' ...... nah, I'm not prepared to risk it. Cut my hair for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted November 5, 2012 #2809 Share Posted November 5, 2012 Hair works as antenna that connects you with the higher consciousness. I refuse to take part in your disconnecting. Reboot me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mule Posted November 7, 2012 #2810 Share Posted November 7, 2012 the button is too small for my hooves to press please brush my mane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted November 7, 2012 #2811 Share Posted November 7, 2012 (edited) I really, honestly would, but I have to post crap on the Internet instead. Make me sane again. Edited November 7, 2012 by Helen of Annoy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted November 7, 2012 #2812 Share Posted November 7, 2012 Good Grief, Helen! That's waaay too big a job for me. You'll need a team of internationally renowned shrinks mental health specialists if you're even going to scratch the surface of the problem. Help me into my diving gear ...... I want to go and annoy sharks. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted November 7, 2012 #2813 Share Posted November 7, 2012 You don’t need a diving gear for that... simply walk into their office, say you want to sue them for malpractice in this very law suit that you are about to start and promise them large percentage of the sum they extort from themselves. Have your camera ready, there’s a chance a head or two will actually explode. Sing me a lullaby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted November 7, 2012 #2814 Share Posted November 7, 2012 (edited) OO, OO! I'm good at that(seriously) ...... which one do you fancy; I've got quite a repetoire? Oh no, wait ...... me here, you all the way over there ...... sorry Haha! Forgot to make a request: taste some of these seeds for me, I'm not sure which ones can go in my baking/cooking and which ones ............. well, um .......... probably shouldn't be eaten ..... Edited November 7, 2012 by ouija ouija Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted November 8, 2012 #2815 Share Posted November 8, 2012 (edited) You need a canary in your kitchen. Miners used to take canaries with them in the mines so when poor little Tweety drops dead they know it’s time to evacuate humans too, because whichever poisonous gas killed the tiny bird will soon kill you too. But if you put a canary in your kitchen, you have to get rid of anything with teflon coating, heating it up makes canaries drop dead too. Seriously. Either way, I’m not a canary, I don’t do seed sampling, I just eat it all. If it tasted good, great, if it didn’t then it must be good for digestion. Throw it all in and call it “exotic new taste of plijesan” if anyone complains. (Plijesan means mold, to save you the trip to translator.) Give me strength to remain so concise in the future too. Edited November 8, 2012 by Helen of Annoy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
with bells on Posted November 9, 2012 #2816 Share Posted November 9, 2012 (edited) i would love to give you strength Helen, but i left my bible in my car, so without it I'm useless.. ive just been shot ten times by an intruder, can someone call an ambulance, im dddddyyy..iii..nggg.... heeeeelllllllppppppp.... meeeeee... Edited November 9, 2012 by with bells on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunn Posted November 9, 2012 #2817 Share Posted November 9, 2012 I can't! Your Avi is threating to shoot me right now. Somebody get me a bullet proof vest, in case I make his avi's day by mistake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted November 9, 2012 #2818 Share Posted November 9, 2012 But I’m on his side. Do not take a bullet proof vest from me even if I offer you one because that would mean today is “shoot him in the groin” day. No, no head-shots, it’s bad manners to obviously shoot to kill. Read my mind. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted November 9, 2012 #2819 Share Posted November 9, 2012 *is struck dumb*................................. *but only for a short while* Where to start? I just don't have the many layers of protective clothing(starting with a lead bodysuit), required for such an operation ...... Good Grief! there could be just about anything in there; I couldn't stand the trauma of it. Sorry. Help me practice my ballet routine, I need a partner who can lift me gracefully into the air. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen of Annoy Posted November 9, 2012 #2820 Share Posted November 9, 2012 I’m not saying you’re fat... but... maybe maybe I could lift you if there was a Chihuahua trapped under you, but that wouldn’t look gracefully at all. Stage that, I want to see if I can do it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted December 14, 2012 #2821 Share Posted December 14, 2012 There is no lifting device robust enough to elevate my frame. Take up Extreme Ironing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spectre1979 Posted December 20, 2012 #2822 Share Posted December 20, 2012 There is no lifting device robust enough to elevate my frame. Take up Extreme Ironing. I can't because I do not exist in this realm. Reply to this message. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Star Posted December 20, 2012 #2823 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Oh, sweetie, i'd love to but you see..... Well, there are so many me's, I'm not really sure which one it is you want to reply to your message. Needing to find out the right numbers for this code I am attempting to breaking, can you help? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hasina Posted December 20, 2012 #2824 Share Posted December 20, 2012 (edited) Oh, sweetie, i'd love to but you see..... Well, there are so many me's, I'm not really sure which one it is you want to reply to your message. Needing to find out the right numbers for this code I am attempting to breaking, can you help? Can't, media reported the code wrong. Help me out with this babysitting job tomorrow? Edited December 20, 2012 by Hasina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Star Posted December 20, 2012 #2825 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Sorry I have a strict..... No sitting on babies...... of any kind, animal, vegetable ...I did sit on a birthday cake once but thats another story. Pass me the latest predictions follies rag mag, please. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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