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maca02

what not to say to a cop

43 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

heres a few to get started

Want a doughnut?

Hold my beer will you?

Don't look in the trunk please.

Are you just pulling me over cause I am drunk?

Can I play with your gun?

please feel free to add to the list :tu:

Edited by maca02

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Posted (edited)

**EDIT**

Edited by aquatus1

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heres a few to get started

Want a doughnut?

Hold my beer will you?

Don't look in the trunk please.

Are you just pulling me over cause I am drunk?

Can I play with your gun?

Cop says, Gee young lady, your eyes sure look red. Have you been drinking?

I say, Gee officer, your eyes sure look glazed. Have you been eating donuts?

Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, that makes one of us.

Are you Barney or the other one?

Aren't you the guy from the village people band?

If I bend over, will I still get a ticket?

Oops, I thought you were a prostitute...

A hundred dollar fine?! Maybe George Washington will change your mind.

please feel free to add to the list :tu:

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Oops. Where's the dam*** doll when you need it?

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Does your mamma know you're out playing cops and robbers?

Where's the rest of the Village People?

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Did they teach you how to be a jerk in the academy or is it just natural?

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Are those handcuffs for me?

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Posted (edited)

**EDIT**

Edited by aquatus1

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That's right, cuff me, I've been bad!

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Here's one that I actually said: "Well if it isn't Hill Street Blues incarnate." (This was not well received.)

Also don't ask "didn't you pull me over last night?"

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That's it Daddy, use the nightstick.

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**There is funny and there is abusive. Please try to not cross the line.**

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"I swear I didn't know she was 9!"

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A police officer clocked a motorist at 20 miles above and pulled him over. Walking up to the window, she pulled out her ticket book and commented,

"I've been waiting for you the whole day."

Without missing a beat, the driver responded,

"In my defense, officer, I got here as fast as I could."

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Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

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Why the delete Aquatus?

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*sniff sniff sniff* it's BACON!

no occifer, you're drunk!

this is oregano......

but hey, dead chicks dont say no! *wink and double thumbs up*

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Wanna beer?

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"What do YOU want?!?!"

"Nah, I don't need to walk a line.. I can to this instead" And proceed to do stupid stunt X with epic fail ending.

"What do you mean I can't do that on a public highway? I'm the public! It's my highway too!"

"Your gonna have to hang on a minute officer. I need to finish this phone call real quick."

"This can't be the fourth time you've pulled me over. I only remember two."

"Before you open the trunk, let me say only that I want my lawyer."

"Crap you could use a breathmint."

Cop: Do you know how fast you were going?

Speeder: Yes sir, I had my cruise set to 94.

Cop: But the speed limit is 65.

Speeder: No sir, the blue shield signs have all been 94.

Cop: er, the blue shield signs are the highway you are on, not the speed limit.

Speeder, No sir. The little white signs are. I know, I've been driving on 65 for hours. Got a little lost on 55 for a while, but the speed limit has been 94 through all of it :)

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I always thought this would be funny:

Border Patrol: "Sir, are you carrying any alcohol, tobacco or firearms?"

You: "What do you need?"

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You'll never take me alive.

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You better call for backup.

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I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!

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Do you mind if I fiddle around with your riot gun while I'm sitting back here?

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What does this button do?

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