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Pawnochio

Hypothetical Zombie Situation

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I wouldn't know anything about Left 4 Dead, as I refuse to play any non-Resident Evil zombie game. Shooters do not mix with survival horror. It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Like cotton candy mixed with peanut butter.

Also, your Pokemon reference is great. Reminds me of a webcomic that made me laugh until my sides hurt.

I suppose that's true, but I was thinking more along the likes of the Reavers from Firefly/Serenity. As in they kill you, rape you, then tear your flesh off and wear it. And you're lucky if it's in that order.

i see now i should save the replies until i've read the rest :P

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shaun-of-the-dead-2004-20-g.jpg

"Wait, what... no, no, we're going to the pub! That was the plan!"

i lol'd, best zombie movie out :P

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I would take a breeding pair of rabbits and some seed corn (for food), some dirt (to plant the corn in) a light source (for lighting and to provide light for corn) and a portable CB radio, alond witha normal one. Also i would bring tons of water, and gasoline and matches. Why gasoline and matches? So i c ould put a big ring of gasoline Around wherever i'm hiding, and when i see zombies approaching, i could light the ring and the zombies wouldn't be able to get through without burning to a crisp!

being undead the zombies would have lost all sense of pain, you would end ot getting attacked by flaming zombies

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being undead the zombies would have lost all sense of pain, you would end ot getting attacked by flaming zombies

yeah i was thinking the same thing, they would just be fire zombies then.

however a military base would be a horrible idea, they would be very likely to not let others in etc

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yeah i was thinking the same thing, they would just be fire zombies then.

however a military base would be a horrible idea, they would be very likely to not let others in etc

Well, zombies on fire would be like crack addicts on fire. As long as it isn't put out, the fire will kill them in minutes (just like with a human).

Many military bases are emergency shelters (like for hurricanes/tornados, and the like). So, unless they were on a total lockdown, the odds of you being told to go away are slim.

As far as crushing a skull, while the top is the hardest and most difficult to crush, the temple is the softest part, and can easily be crushed.... killing instantly (depending on the weapon used).

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I know exactly what your saying, gun shops are thin in the UK, air guns are more easily obtained as are crossbows etc. guns arent bad, its the people who use them that are.

The chainsaw is noisy and cumbersome, but its guaranteed to inflict damage, as it is easily obtainable, its a viable option. Your right with the steel pipes and axe choice, again, more common. But how many average joe people would be able to inflict a fatal blow, or at least a blow to break bones. If you cant have a dead zombie, one with broken legs is the next best thing.

Canals usually have an ice cream shop evry 10 miles or so thats usually only open in summer, unless zombies are fearful of mr whippy, theres not much else useful apart from fuel.

I think youd be pretty screwed on canals, the boat would usually be central, and its an easy distance to jump(if zombies could jump), plus there is the disadvantge of the bridges as they are quite low to the boats roof.

Alot of people would be hammering nails through bats and arming themselves with god knows what only to get killed in the first 24 hours, I think the best weapon is stealth.

Yes, it is viable as long as it has fuel (or is plugged in if it is an electric one). Also, even with enough sources to power it, wielding it requires more upper body strength than you think, and it will also tire you faster.

If the goal is to survive, you won't, based on what I've seen here so far. Hell, most plans on here will fail. The reason for this, everyone makes the same assumptions.... they compare something totally unknown to movies/books/games. Also, survival plans are not all encompassing. For instantance, the cause of the outbreak. There are many viruses that can cross species. If that's the case, and infected people or zombies end up in the water, and fish feed on them (which, they would), how safe do you think it would be to eat the fish? The best realistic plan for a Z-Paw is to have a simple base plan, and keep it fluid. You can overthink it and have contigency plans for every possible scenerio, and add them to your overall plan when you learn more (like, what caused it, how it's spread, the transition speed, etc.). Survival means doing what needs to be done, no matter what. Are you certain that you can do what is necessary?

I live in a major city (well over 600K, and growing, with just as many in the surrounding cities). I also have firearms, melee weapons, survival training in various settings, experience in strategic and tactical planning and execution (meaning, carrying out those plans), friends that are close by that are also into this kind of thing, and a very annoying will to live. Even with all this, the odds that I last more than a month or 2 are slim.

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Yes, it is viable as long as it has fuel (or is plugged in if it is an electric one). Also, even with enough sources to power it, wielding it requires more upper body strength than you think, and it will also tire you faster.

If the goal is to survive, you won't, based on what I've seen here so far. Hell, most plans on here will fail.

Course it will have fuel, and I doubt Mr Zombie would wait while you get an extension cable and plugged in. Again, what Im trying to say is there chainsaws and the like are more common than guns in the UK, Most people can easily operate a chainsaw or hedge trimmer(which are available cordless), or at least have seen there fathers/partners/boyfriends start one up and would be more confident with the task.

If you was to run out of fuel, ditch it and run.

It would be used as a last resort, if cornered fire it up and get away. Not take on hoards of the undead with a humble 2 stroke.

Im not saying I would personally out live the virus and survive for years ala Robert Neville, but my main strategy would be stealth, avoid confrontation and keep quiet.

YOU and your chums may well survive longer than most, you may even be too cocky and get wiped out in minutes. Im sure the idea is to consider people with no basic fire arms training, no ex special forces or SAS, not every one is a "wannabe action hero"

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Course it will have fuel, and I doubt Mr Zombie would wait while you get an extension cable and plugged in. Again, what Im trying to say is there chainsaws and the like are more common than guns in the UK, Most people can easily operate a chainsaw or hedge trimmer(which are available cordless), or at least have seen there fathers/partners/boyfriends start one up and would be more confident with the task.

If you was to run out of fuel, ditch it and run.

It would be used as a last resort, if cornered fire it up and get away. Not take on hoards of the undead with a humble 2 stroke.

Im not saying I would personally out live the virus and survive for years ala Robert Neville, but my main strategy would be stealth, avoid confrontation and keep quiet.

YOU and your chums may well survive longer than most, you may even be too cocky and get wiped out in minutes. Im sure the idea is to consider people with no basic fire arms training, no ex special forces or SAS, not every one is a "wannabe action hero"

This isn't about ease of access to firearms. There are many places here in the US that are impossible to get firearms. This is about chainsaws and similar items being used as a weapon. While they look like a great idea in the movies, IRL they are not. However, if it is either that or a roll of toilet paper, yes, go with the thing that would actually work. There are many other items that can be used effectively, that don't also have the potential to take off one of your own limbs.

When it comes to survival, all you need is common sense, logical reasoning, and the will to live. Two of those go out the window when you assume to know what's going to happen in any given survival scenerio - to include the ones that you can train for that could actually happen. Great way to learn about survival... get a real survival manual, go camping, and practice some of what's in there.

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Well, zombies on fire would be like crack addicts on fire. As long as it isn't put out, the fire will kill them in minutes (just like with a human).

Many military bases are emergency shelters (like for hurricanes/tornados, and the like). So, unless they were on a total lockdown, the odds of you being told to go away are slim.

As far as crushing a skull, while the top is the hardest and most difficult to crush, the temple is the softest part, and can easily be crushed.... killing instantly (depending on the weapon used).

crack addicts still feel pain.

and there not made of a flamable substance the burning will stop after a short while.

and ok tough guy, im sure every strike you make with a melee weapons gonna be a kill shot.

youd get eaten so fast it wouldnt be funny, i think you think your a little too capable of taking out a friggin zombie with one hit.

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I think i could do melee one hit kill but i wouldn't try it for a while, you need to be quick so a baseball bat you could find takes too much of a swing to get full force for a one hit melee kill but offers abit of extra range compared to others, in the uk most camping shops still sell expandable Kosh batons similar to the what police have, in my time i have had 3-4 of these and they are good enough for the zombie's one hit kill and small enough for your pocket for the wasteland looting

Find a single zombie, isolated and get a kneecap shot, restrained with all sorts and in a separate place to where im staying, then study for soft tissue, weak bones etc etc but most importantly ... how long they take to starve ... if they do

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crack addicts still feel pain.

and there not made of a flamable substance the burning will stop after a short while.

and ok tough guy, im sure every strike you make with a melee weapons gonna be a kill shot.

youd get eaten so fast it wouldnt be funny, i think you think your a little too capable of taking out a friggin zombie with one hit.

First, regarding fire... yes, it will kill the zombies (unless they are put out within a minute or 2).

Second, I'm not stupid enough to rely on melee weapons, especially blunt ones. However, that comment wasn't about zombies specifically. Had you the comprehension skills required, you would have understood that.

Third, had you actually read any of my other comments, you would know that it's a survival situation. Which means, no, I'm not going to stop and fight/kill every zombie I can.

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First, regarding fire... yes, it will kill the zombies (unless they are put out within a minute or 2).

Second, I'm not stupid enough to rely on melee weapons, especially blunt ones. However, that comment wasn't about zombies specifically. Had you the comprehension skills required, you would have understood that.

Third, had you actually read any of my other comments, you would know that it's a survival situation. Which means, no, I'm not going to stop and fight/kill every zombie I can.

1. How do you know as there are no "real" zombies, people can suffer horrific burn injuries, yet survive and still lead normal lives.

2. If you ran out of ammo and had no resources to make your own, you would have to rely on what is at hand, be it bats or aunt madels knitting needles.

3. Could of fooled me.

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I would lock myself into a huge supermarket. Pull all the huge metal shutters down. Would have protection, food, water, everything I needed for a long, long time :)

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Well first I would calm down after the initial wave of disbelief and panic hit me :cry: . Then I would go grab my sword(yes I do actually possess a sword), plenty of food, water and medical supplies and if at all possible some guns and ammo. Next I would find some place unobtrusive and hide my ass for a couple of days while the initial chaos rages. I would only move about during the day because at night you wouldn't be able to spot anything nasty creeping up on you. What about sleep you ask? In the first few days sleep would not be high on my list of survival items until I could find some place reeeealy secure. After a week you can be sure that the idiot herd will have been thinned somewhat allowing me to resupply and get my ass to someplace of increased security maybe with other survivors.

Does all this mean I would survive?? Don't know but I would give it a damm good try. :gun:

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1. How do you know as there are no "real" zombies, people can suffer horrific burn injuries, yet survive and still lead normal lives.

2. If you ran out of ammo and had no resources to make your own, you would have to rely on what is at hand, be it bats or aunt madels knitting needles.

3. Could of fooled me.

1. A human body on fire, that's not put out, has a tiny chance of surviving, and usually don't last more than a few days IF AT ALL.

2. Maybe I should have specified that I wouldn't rely on melee as my ONLY weapon. But, I do standt by not relying on blunt objects. Either way, getting at the head isn't always going to be as easy as you think. Use a bat on a leg, they'll still come at you. Use a machette on the leg, they'll be crawling.

3. That comment proves that you either A, didn't read any of my previous comments, or B, have a comprehension problem (I'm going with...B).

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Well first I would calm down after the initial wave of disbelief and panic hit me :cry: . Then I would go grab my sword(yes I do actually possess a sword), plenty of food, water and medical supplies and if at all possible some guns and ammo. Next I would find some place unobtrusive and hide my ass for a couple of days while the initial chaos rages. I would only move about during the day because at night you wouldn't be able to spot anything nasty creeping up on you. What about sleep you ask? In the first few days sleep would not be high on my list of survival items until I could find some place reeeealy secure. After a week you can be sure that the idiot herd will have been thinned somewhat allowing me to resupply and get my ass to someplace of increased security maybe with other survivors.

Does all this mean I would survive?? Don't know but I would give it a damm good try. :gun:

Not bad, but maybe you should consider staying put for the first few days. That way, you'll have more supplies available, and you can let the chaos die down a bit before heading out. This will give you more time to prep for movement. It will also let you be in a relatively "safe" spot, that will help with the mental prep.

Granted, not all situations will allow it. Depends on where you live, and what you live in. A second floor apartment could be better suited than a first floor, or even a house (less entry/exit points to secure). Also, this would be during the initial phase, so you should still have some electricity, hot water and a stove you can use. Now, as far as your neighborhood goes, yeah, you might want to vacate as quickly as possible, or (if it's a nice area, meaning relatively safe) you'll be able to stay a bit longer.

As far as not sleeping goes... if you are able to stay put in your home, and have all entry/exit points secured, then there shouldn't be much of an issue with getting in a nap here and there. Will be easier if you have at least 1 other person with you that you trust. Maybe you head to a close friend that lives really really close by....

Just a thought...

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"You people are fools." He stated somberly, choosing to punctuate the lack of intelligence he so disdained by sourcing two articles from Cracked Magazine.

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"You people are fools." He stated somberly, choosing to punctuate the lack of intelligence he so disdained by sourcing two articles from Cracked Magazine.

did you read them? there fairly relevant.

good to see your adding to the discussion though, keep up the good work. :tu:

Edited by thewatchman7

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1. A human body on fire, that's not put out, has a tiny chance of surviving, and usually don't last more than a few days IF AT ALL.

2. Maybe I should have specified that I wouldn't rely on melee as my ONLY weapon. But, I do standt by not relying on blunt objects. Either way, getting at the head isn't always going to be as easy as you think. Use a bat on a leg, they'll still come at you. Use a machette on the leg, they'll be crawling.

3. That comment proves that you either A, didn't read any of my previous comments, or B, have a comprehension problem (I'm going with...B).

1. Even though a "zombie" is human form, if they have the ability to come back from the dead, then im guessing they would shrug off a burn or 2, As they are NOT real, we will never know.

2. My initial point was that not everyone has access to guns, its ok for you and your buddies to take pot shots at any hoards of the undead while rubbing baby oil into your survival trained/military experianced bodies but what about joe public? They would HAVE to rely on what was at hand if they wanted any chance of survival. And as for going for a leg, yes your right, they will be crawling, however, youd have to swing down pretty low(depending on circumstances) to inflict an injury, thus lowering your guard and exposing that fleshy neck.

3. My comprehension is fine, people who have experiance with weapons only see things from their point of view, as long as you will be ok thats what matters.

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did you read them? there fairly relevant.

good to see your adding to the discussion though, keep up the good work. :tu:

I think thats spot on, every ones plan is so perfect, yet so perfectly flawed.

We would be killed (even rambo and his chums) so fast it would be unbelievable and if any one did survive, as per Robert Neville, then it would be a new age miracle.

PS: the referance to Robert Neville was made in the fact that he was "the last man alive"(The Omega Man) and I comprehend that the situations given are totally different.

PPS: The Omega Man is a fantastic film, much better than "I am legend"

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did you read them? there fairly relevant.

Oh, I agree that Cracked Magazine is just about the intellectual level needed for a discussion regarding zombie survival. That's not the part I was pointing out as ironic.

But for a double helping of irony, let's have another example:

good to see your adding to the discussion though, keep up the good work. :tu:

:lol:

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I think thats spot on, every ones plan is so perfect, yet so perfectly flawed.

We would be killed (even rambo and his chums) so fast it would be unbelievable and if any one did survive, as per Robert Neville, then it would be a new age miracle.

PS: the referance to Robert Neville was made in the fact that he was "the last man alive"(The Omega Man) and I comprehend that the situations given are totally different.

PPS: The Omega Man is a fantastic film, much better than "I am legend"

I have to disagree here...

As far as the films go, The Last Man on Earth with Vincent Price was much better. Though, all 3 center around Matheson's "I Am Legend" book (which, was good, btw), The Last Man on Earth was a much more entertaining watch than Omega Man. To me, that movie was too reminiscent of the original Planet of the Apes AND Beneath the Planet of the Apes (many 70s movies just sucked).

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Oh, I agree that Cracked Magazine is just about the intellectual level needed for a discussion regarding zombie survival. That's not the part I was pointing out as ironic.

But for a double helping of irony, let's have another example:

:lol:

cheeky bugger but very on the level ;)

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I would go to a small corner of costco, all the food you need and thick, concrete walls.

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