Mark One Posted July 9, 2021 #2426 Share Posted July 9, 2021 Sounds like that fruitloop next door needs to get out more. Obtain a sack of Japanese knotwood seeds. Empty the sack over the fence and let nature take its course. Within a couple of months his garden will be overun with that disastrous weed/flower resulting in him spending all day in his garden and not in his living room. One of my life long dreams as always been to own a tame giraffe in my own back garden. I once tried out my idea with some of those animal toys but it's just not the same. I even once dressed up as an African gorilla but that led to the police and then 24hours in A&E and then 24hours in police custody (once the injuries inflicted by the boys in blue were deemed stable). So, can anyone help? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAyMO Posted July 9, 2021 #2427 Share Posted July 9, 2021 (edited) 13 hours ago, acute said: My noisy neighbour has OCD. He vacuums every hour, on the hour. How can I stop him? Ah in this case the question reveals your answer - timing "every hour, on the hour". Thus your solution is simple, clocks indicate the hour by the minute hand pointing at the 12. Visit him and finds all his clocks - a) remove the minute hands, if that fails b) remove the hour hands, if that fails c) remove the clocks. How can I watch the Euro final with an English family member while supporting Italy Edited July 9, 2021 by RAyMO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ant0n Posted July 12, 2021 #2428 Share Posted July 12, 2021 (edited) Tell your family member the Italian team works for the MI5. EDIT: you supported the right team indeed! OMG... My date is coming tonight but I'm so exhausted... I fear I'll be helpless tonight. I even expect to be sleeping all the way. What should I do? Edited July 12, 2021 by ant0n Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted July 12, 2021 #2429 Share Posted July 12, 2021 Just explain that rearing Skunks takes it all out of you. Right after the match yesterday I drank my sorrows and took a long bath. I woke up this morning to find my trousers have shrunk tight around my legs. Issue being, they are a pair of my dad's trousers and he's gonna kill me unless I can rectify the situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ant0n Posted July 12, 2021 #2430 Share Posted July 12, 2021 This is simple: kill him before he kills you. Life's a struggle, you know. I suggest poison. Poisoned candyfloss does marvel (trust an expert). I am the reincarnation of a man and his dog: what should I do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted April 27, 2022 #2431 Share Posted April 27, 2022 SIT! and tell yourself you're a GOOD BOY! How can I indefinitely delay building work starting up next door? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted April 27, 2022 #2432 Share Posted April 27, 2022 9 hours ago, ouija ouija said: How can I indefinitely delay building work starting up next door? Replace your 'pîssing gnome' (that you aimed at next door's driveway) with a Kärcher pressure washer. How can I remove the caked-on dust from my vacuum cleaner? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted April 28, 2022 #2433 Share Posted April 28, 2022 (Good advice. It's working a treat! Thanks). Hmm, I don't know . . . . isn't the entire house caked in dust? . If you don't like vacuuming, buy yourself a Henry vacuum cleaner(I've got a Hetty, which is pink). Henry has a cute face and his lid looks like a bowler hat so as you stroll around the house, plying his hose and nozzle, chatting to him, it will feel like a walk with a friend and not a chore . (Or do as I do and pay someone else to do it! ). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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