Is it A Gift or a Curse

[jessicajaletta]

Okay, first of all I found this site all by accident while searching for schizophrenia and after lurking and reading some post from different parts of the board I decided to post.

I will tell you a bit about myself, I am 22 years old have lived a simi-normal life if you want to call it that. At a young age I would receive visions if that is what they are called of people in coffins people that I knew and some that I knew of. After having these visions, the person would die within a few days 3-10 on average and they would be dressed just as I had saw them in my vision. When I was four I saw a person who had recently died at the time I was not aware he was dead did not find out till hours later, standing beside of my bed with his wife I had never met (she died years prior to my even being born). The man joined his wife and then he waved by to me and just as quick as he appeared he was gone. I have only had one dream and that was when my father passed in my dreams event were just as they were when they happened about a week or less later except for in my dream it was not my father whom had died but, my current boyfriend at the time. In the dream the then boyfriend's mother came to tell me of his death wearing a pink shirt and blue pair of jeans in reality it was my grandmother who would come to tell me that my father was dead wearing the pink shirt and the blue pair of jeans. In my dream the events not only of the mothers being the messenger and the clothes they were wear occurred but, down to dialogue and such. I have had the feeling of de juvu before about 10 times in my life but, do not remember having the dream that gave me this feeling. Also, upon meeting my husband I felt a tad bit of a de juvu feeling because, as a child I was mesmerized by the name Abraham and I ended up married to a guy who is Muslim who's name is their translated version of the name which is Ibrahim.

Another gift, that I have tried to ignore but, seems to bothering me a lot anymore is the dead seem to want to contact me when I am alone. I know that may sound insane thus why I was up at 3 a.m. researching schizophrenia. At my grandmother's house I have heard my grandfather speak my name, but I have always ignored it because, the dead creep me out. However, at my new apartment that I moved in last month someone is trying to contact me that I do not know. I allowed a spirit to contact me my first year of college or shall I say that this spirit was insistent and it frightened me terrible - it was not a good spirit very demonic it become quite aggressive to where I would have no electricity and when someone else would enter the room the lights would magically work thus making me sound insane to my friends I had a friend who eventually after realizing that I was not lying believed me because she saw some of the other things that this being did such as send animals out in front of my car who would stand for minutes sometimes as much as 20 and hold eye contact with me or it would not allow me to use my phone to call a pastor or anyone that could help. After finally driving to the pastors house I was instructed to let the spirit guide me and after I did what he/she wanted it left me alone. I even moved out the apartment at this time to a new apartment and it seemed to follow me there - after I got rid of whatever it was I lived there for over a year and never saw, heard anything. I have lived in two apartments since that were newer and was never contacted by a spirit. The current apartment is as old if not older than the apartment that I encountered the first spirit and both apartments have a shady and bad past behind them filled full of drugs, murder and such.

The spirit this time has hissed my name a few times, just as I described with my grandfather doing and I have saw a shadow figure out of the corner of my eye and had a vision of seeing an old man in the mirror as well as at night I will see a glow coming from my living room while there is no glow possible to occur. I has got so bad, that I cannot bring myself to stay in this apartment alone or with anyone - my husband and I are currently living 9 hours away because, he is starting his masters and I am joining him in May where he currently living. I have debated moving out of here and in with a friend, but I am afraid that it will follow me to the new place.

So my question is, I do not have any symptom of schizophrenia besides hearing voices which was only 2x at my grandmothers house and maybe 10 - 14 combine between these apartments I mentioned; the first time the spirit whom I let lead me took me to the mall where it instructed me with bible scriptures to recite and after everything it asked me to be do was done it left. I do not think I can handle this type of gift much longer and my question is how do I make these spirits go away for good I want rid of this gift. And, is it possible that I am schizophrenic, my friend suggested that maybe the case but, I have never been diagnosed as schizophrenic, but I was diagnosed as bipolar when I was 14 however my mother believes that it has to do with my gifts effecting my mental state because, I never am able to do anything that I consider positive - death is not positive for me. My great grandmother on my mom's side of the family had this same gift and my mother, aunt, and brothers are able to predict things as well. My mother predicted that my brother would have a baby by a girl, who was not his current girlfriend at the time, before he and the then girlfriend would get back together (this is while they were together) and this took place as well as other things. My brother predicted what month that I would meet my husband and has knew things that are going to happen in sporting events, television shows (he can predict storylines years before they come to past) and real life events as well. My other brother, knew that Novemeber 2003 would be a bad month and that is the month that my grandfather was murdered after that he told me he simply chose to turn it off because, he did not want to know of things to come. EDIT: I wanted to add that also, this same brother had an Imaginary friend whom came to find out had the same name and he describe him to match my mother's childhood friend whom died at the age of 14 after being hit by a car. He will not talk about "Dean" the childhood friend or the other experience other than he turned it off so that it cannot bother him. Also, his son whom is a 16 months seems to have conversations with people that we cannot see and waves at people we cannot see. He also, is mesmerized by a picture of my dad who past 3 years before he was born and he looked at the picture one day and said "papa", it was so intense that my grandmother who doesn't believe in any of this gift things began to cry and questioned if he too shared this gift.

I would greatly appreciate any of the comments and help anyone can get - because, I am tired of staying at a friends house, or my grandmothers house or simply not sleeping for days and being on edge 24/7.

Note: Posted in Psychology forum by accident, please delete Mods, thanks!

[ParanormallyJustARedNeck]

I'm definitely no expert on this and you're going to have a lot of people tell you to get psychiatric help, and that may not be a bad thing but before you do have you simply tried praying and asking God, or the universe or anything Divine that you may believe in to take the gift from you? I've read a lot of books written by psychics and most of them at some point have asked God to remove the gift from them and by their accounts it seems to work.

On the other hand you mentioned these visions as being negative because they usually involved death but have you tried attempting to change your perspective on things? What I mean is if your having people and entities contact you posthumously and having events shown to you that have yet to happen doesn't that suggest that life continues after death, and how much more of a positive thing can you be shown other than to know that life's adventure doesn't cease at death's door?

If you ever decide to keep it I would suggest asking God to help you refine your gift and make it easier to manage or asking to remove it completely. I'd be more concerned with the voices and visions if you were experiencing things that made no since but since you cited multiple premonitions that have come true and occurrences that others have been privy to I wouldn't think is was a mental issue but I'm not a doctor either.

Good luck!

**P.S. know that when I mention God I'm using a broad overview term of any creative force or entity, my God is not denominational**

[John from Lowell]

Hello Jessica,

There is a lot of fear about the unknown energies around us. In my view, there is nothing to fear but fear itself. Now those of us who are truly sensitive to the energies around us have a very hard time escaping from that reality. In your case there is no way to ignore what you know.

My suggestion would be to encourage you to deal with this circumstance in a more empowered manner.

I hope that this will eventually becomes a consideration for you.

John

[Neognosis]

Do you mean to tell us you haven't seen a psychologist yet?

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!!!!

[Jen369]

If you have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, you need to get consistent professional treatment. That is VERY important, and if you're not getting professional help right now, you should seek it out immediately. That being said, being strongly connected to those who have passed can be a great gift, and you can use it to help other people. But clearly you're attracting negative entities, and that's because of your underlying emotional problems. If you fix those, you will no longer be bothered by them - like attracts like. This is where the professional help comes in.

In the meantime, I think Paranormally had some really good advice - ask your higher power to help you turn this gift off, and to protect you from negative entities.

I hope you get better soon, and that this all works out for you!

[dreamgoddess11]

Find like minded people where you live. Search for a mentor to help you with your gift. forums are a good starting point but I feel you need more guidance.

[jessicajaletta]

I politely asked it to go away and it has. I want to think everyone of you who gave me advice and I am learning slowly to cope with this gift. I hope to learn to control it.

I however, do have a question. My great grandmother is currently in her last days and I have been having dreams were she ask me to help her cross over. What does this mean, I have been to see her and have told her its okay but, she hasn't crossed over yet. She is in a coma like state, has been for a few days now.

[John from Lowell]

The next time you are with your great grand mother, speak to her in your mind. Death is actually a return to our authentic reality - the realm of spirit. She may be concerned she did not do as well as she would have liked with her life. Since all her choices were blessed, she may just want your encouragement.

Best Wishes for each of you.

John

[bLu3 de 3n3rgy]

Yeah you can speak to someone in a coma. Their consciousness is still there. Do what John suggests and reassure her that you are hearing her in your dreams, and that she can cross over when she is ready to. "Cross over" is a term for the consciousness shift of the spirit/soul moving onto the spirit realm from the physical level. By having this connection of communication you are already helping her.

Edited March 6, 2012 by AnVil

[jessicajaletta]

Thank you for your help and after much consideration I have came to understand that the spirit that is in my apartment is here to protect me from my neighbor or rather former neighbor whom is wanted by the police for armed robbery and a suspected murder. YES, I kid you not. I think that the spirit I refer to him as a he because, I know he is an older gentleman was trying to protect me by making me aware of the least little thing. I feel so much at ease, lately knowing this. It's funny how spirits are sometimes and how they protect us. I am more comfortable now with knowing he is here than I am afraid because, I have a sense of calmness knowing that he is watching over me.

Granny is still hanging in there but, I have a feeling more than a feeling but, I cannot describe it that she will pass tomorrow my mother and I both are naming the 9th as her passing over.