Walking on a thin string

[ZaraKitty]

Hello UM people I'm Zarakitty and I've only been registered for a few days but I've been with UM for few years, I didn't know where to post this, but I need something,I've had a rough few months and I'm only 19 but hear me out.

Last year, a few weeks after my birthday I was sexually assaulted, I lost my job and my friends told me it was my fault. I've fallen in to depression and when I would show signs of being sad my parents would scream in my face to 'get over it' and 'stop acting like a 2 year old' (They have always bullied me, calling me fat or stupid when I would eat or fail a test) and life was really getting my down. They kicked me out, and I have very little money to get myself through my visual arts course and where I live my Dad has access to, ad can come over and yell at me as he pleases. I never feel safe or secure, and my Dad doesn't want anything to do with me, he either ignores my existence or yells.

I don't know what to do, I'm very scared and alone. I'm always exhausted as I get little to no sleep, can someone give me some advice please? Life has very little meaning, and I don't even have my dog any more. He was always comforting.

Please don't say I'm just being attention seeking, I really need help. I am seeing a councillor, and she helps a lot but I can't see her very often, and I'm on medication.

[tigger]

seems you are doing the right thing by seing a counsellor. i would suggest, if you havent already done so. you report the person who assaulted you to the police. something like this is not to be taken lightly, and silence from the victim only makes it worse, and the perpetrator get away with it.

i would also suggest you find some way to stop your father accessing extrance to where you live. change the locks, let who ever know (if there is someone at the door) that he is not allowed in, unless you give the go ahead. if he is going to be beligerant, phone the police and say you are having a problem with a nuisance person. doesnt matter if it is family or not.

i'm not sure where you live, but in australia, there are many free helplines for people with depression, or who have had some kind of assault. they are there to help. i would strongly suggest you do some research to see if there is something available for yourself. also see what kind of govt assistance you can have.

at the end of the day, it doesnt sound like you have a great support network around you, and that is pretty sad. especially after what has happened. no one asks for a sexual assault. i hope you can find someone to help you in this murkiness. its sounds like your parents need a good kick up the bum.

[ZaraKitty]

seems you are doing the right thing by seing a counsellor. i would suggest, if you havent already done so. you report the person who assaulted you to the police. something like this is not to be taken lightly, and silence from the victim only makes it worse, and the perpetrator get away with it.

i would also suggest you find some way to stop your father accessing extrance to where you live. change the locks, let who ever know (if there is someone at the door) that he is not allowed in, unless you give the go ahead. if he is going to be beligerant, phone the police and say you are having a problem with a nuisance person. doesnt matter if it is family or not.

i'm not sure where you live, but in australia, there are many free helplines for people with depression, or who have had some kind of assault. they are there to help. i would strongly suggest you do some research to see if there is something available for yourself. also see what kind of govt assistance you can have.

at the end of the day, it doesnt sound like you have a great support network around you, and that is pretty sad. especially after what has happened. no one asks for a sexual assault. i hope you can find someone to help you in this murkiness. its sounds like your parents need a good kick up the bum.

Tigger! I'm wearing my Tigger pyjamas

I have reported it, the police couldn't help me as he has my friends on his side, saying it wasn't rape. But It was.

I'm living at my grandmothers, and she won't stop him from coming over because he's telling her that I'm just being a bad child. Nobody listens to me.

Thankyou for your advice, I appreciate it Have a great day

[Leonardo]

What more you can do depends a lot on yourself, but also on what avenues your government provides for social support.

If you explain the situation to your counsellor, he/she may be able to provide you with information about getting away from the stresses that are making your life a misery. Depending on what government support is available, you may be able to get help with your income, your living accommodation and additional support for any emotional/mental health issues you might be currently experiencing.

I don't know the situation regarding the assault, but I do know that you might have a difficult time pressing any action against your assailant if a year has passed since the assault happened, especially if you have no witnesses who will support you. It's down to you what course of action you choose, and I don't want to recommend any particular action except that, if it is weighing on you to the point of depression, you seek further medical help and ask your counsellor also about that.

There is little anyone here can do, but that doesn't mean no-one would listen if you just wanted to 'get things out in the open' a bit. I know from personal experience that just writing down what you feel can be cathartic. It doesn't have to be the case that you write it where others can comment, and writing a diary might provide some help in this regard.

In any case, take some comfort in knowing that you are never truly alone, even in having experienced what you have. There are always people to talk to or with, whether it be your counsellor, or you writing on an online forum.