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Miss Shadows

How Unsafe?

17 posts in this topic

A sort of friend and I are having a debate/standoff, and I would like exterior input from anyone who has something to say.

I live in America, and he does not, but we have differing views on a general matter of going out at night. He believes it is extremely unsafe for a young woman to go out at night alone, whether it be to somewhere like a bar, or just for a run. The fact that I am a female has a substantial influence on his view of me going out at night alone, however I think that though women do have a tendency to be more often attacked and harmed than men, that it is not unreasonable for me to go out alone at night and early in the morning for various reasons. I have been experiencing a health issue lately that causes me to pass out, and I can see how that'd be another issue, but in generally good health, I would like to know if others think it is really too dangerous for a female to go out alone late, and why. Thanks in advance.

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I think you have to look at the numbers, not just opinions. If there's a lot of violence in the place where you live, I suggest you avoid going out on your own, but if it's calm then I don't see the problem. I've lived in places where it was safe enough for people not to worry about stuff like locking their front doors when leaving, and others where someone would tell you not to park your car on certain streets at any time of the day, specially at night so it's hard to say. Right now for example, I live in a place that's dangerous enough for me not to feel comfortable when walking around at night, there is violence but then I see girls walking around alone when I come home from the gym, usually around midnight. You're never going to be 100% safe but if you don't know who usually hangs out at the streets on your way to a bar or wherever you're going, it would be a good idea to bring a friend along with you. at least you should know in which direction you should run :P

oh and I'm not from the US either, I live in Brazil.

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I agree with Lcvec. A lot depends on your local environment. I think it also depends on how safe you feel personally and how well you could look after yourself should anything occur.

I would suggest as a general rule that it would not be advisable for a female to go out late at night alone.

The other factor you mentioned is your health problem regarding passing out. I can fully understand your friends feelings regarding this and I would probably feel the same way.

If you are determined to continue going out , then maybe it would be possible to get a freind to go with you. Added protection but also somebody there should you pass out. :)

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Depends on a lot of things. It's about making good choices. Where I live, in the suburbs of Seattle, or even if I lived in downtown Seattle, I would feel generally safe going somewhere alone... would I waltz through a dark alley alone? Or loiter around a dark parking lot etc... No, probably not. Would I walk down a well-lighted sidewalk to a store or a restaurant, sure.

Now if you have a medical condition that makes you pass out randomly.. then, there is an issue, you probaby shouldn't be left alone even in your house. The chances you could fall and be hurt are good. I think that's beside the point and out of scope for the real argument. If the real argument is whether ladies can be out alone after dark... then yes, absolutely, within reason and using common sense... but I'd say that rule applies to both men and women.

I don't know where you live, but if you live in average-ville USA, you're probably good to go ... if you live in downtown Detroit or New Haven or somewhere else where the sound of gunfire is normal nighttime background noise, you probably shouldn't be going out with or without an escort.

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Crime can hit you regardless of where you live or are in the world - its a matter of do you let it control your life or not

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I live in the U.S., and I have lived in large city, boonies, small town and big town. And yeah, crime can happen anywhere for the unwary lone female. Happens most often at night, but it can happen during the day too. I bet the same thing can be said for a lot of other places in the world too.

That said, I think it's more of how you go about being out and about more than anything else. Being aware of your surroundings, don't go to questionable places, give consideration to how you would defend yourself if you were accosted... That sort of stuff. Haha, think like a horror movie heroine instead of victim :)

I think the situation depends too. Like if you are just going out to get a jug of milk or something, being alone probably won't make much difference. If you regularly do an early morning jog with earphones playing, probably wiser to have someone else with you.

And the passing out thing, yeah that's a cause for concern. You didn't say what the condition is or if it's going to be ongoing, but all that sort of stuff probably falls under medical advice. I would recommend though that if this is an ongoing issue, perhaps get a medical alert bracelet to wear when you are out and about.

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well how old are you ? it'll help us to give better advice say if you're 16 i think that's really out of question

if you were like 27 that's different story ? maybe you should let us know first before we give an advice

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A sort of friend and I are having a debate/standoff, and I would like exterior input from anyone who has something to say.

I live in America, and he does not, but we have differing views on a general matter of going out at night. He believes it is extremely unsafe for a young woman to go out at night alone, whether it be to somewhere like a bar, or just for a run. The fact that I am a female has a substantial influence on his view of me going out at night alone, however I think that though women do have a tendency to be more often attacked and harmed than men, that it is not unreasonable for me to go out alone at night and early in the morning for various reasons. I have been experiencing a health issue lately that causes me to pass out, and I can see how that'd be another issue, but in generally good health, I would like to know if others think it is really too dangerous for a female to go out alone late, and why. Thanks in advance.

It's dangerous for a young woman to go out unaccompanied at night. Your health problem alone is good reason not to go out alone, and this would be the case even if you were a man. You shouldn't risk your life like this, Miss.

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Much of it depends on what you wear. If you go around wearing short skirts and showing alot of cleveage, you're really just asking for trouble.

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As others have said, it depends on where you live.

But most places, most of the time, and unless you're drunk, it's no more dangerous than crossing the road.

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I would say its according where you live and the type of place you are going. People are attacked in their homes or abducted from shopping centers so no place is 100% safe.

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Posted (edited)

well how old are you ? it'll help us to give better advice say if you're 16 i think that's really out of question

if you were like 27 that's different story ? maybe you should let us know first before we give an advice

I am currently a few months short of 18. In response to various other posts, I agree, it's different if I'm experiencing some sort of health issue that causes me to pass out with little to no notice at all, and for that reason I've been staying in as of late. No place is 100 percent safe, whether it be my house, or anywhere else on this planet, but I refuse to let crime control my life totally. Of course, I do take some precautions. I rarely wear anything too low cut going out at night, and if I'm going to a bar or some similar establishment, though I don't very often, I take care to take note of how others could percieve what I wear. I'd say that about 80 percent of the time when I do go to a bar, I go with someone I know and trust, and who is at least over 18, and I definitely take my drink with me when I move around.

I did boxing for years, and I carry a small knife which falls into the domestic legal criteria for a concealed weapon in my corner of the globe, and I do know how to use it, having taken lessons from a family friend who teaches self defense for a living (knock on wood), and does that as a certified professional of the field.

Like other posters have mentioned, nowhere is 100 percent safe, however I utilize a little thing called common sense anytime I'm out, day or night, and I pay attention and stay aware of my surroundings, and I didn't start going out at night last week. Due to factors such as parental apathy and plain old stupidity on my part, I spent a lot of time on my own and out at night/early in the morning at ages as young as 12 and 11, and I can honestly say I've seen and lived things afterhours that have made me stop, think, and learn.

Thank you everyone for your opinions.

Just as an edit, I also currently live in suburban Southern California. Our #1 issue in my specific area is domestic violence; I just had a neighbor who lived across the street arrested about a month ago for beating his wife to death. I was out doing my grocery shopping when it happened, but a man who lives nextdoor to me said it was pretty bad, yet none of the other neighbors seem all that perturbed by it. Long story short, I've lived in much better neighborhoods, and I've lived in a whole lot worse.

Edited by Mz Psychedellic

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Of course, please keep in mind that you should never let your guard down either. 23 years ago I was attacked physically by a mugger and beat up pretty bad. (I was 22 at the time) I was in the parking lot of a decent restaurant in one of the nicest, wealthiest suburbs of Seattle. So it can happen anywhere. However, I still go place at night, on my own. I'm just more careful about HOW I do that. Being more focused on the How to stay out of trouble than "where" I'm going to run into trouble.

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Take a gun or a big dog that loves you.

Sadly, there are way too many predatory creeps in this ole world of ours and they come from all walks of life and all backgrounds.

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Take a gun or a big dog that loves you.

Sadly, there are way too many predatory creeps in this ole world of ours and they come from all walks of life and all backgrounds.

Quite frankly agreed, Eldorado.

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A sort of friend and I are having a debate/standoff, and I would like exterior input from anyone who has something to say.

I live in America, and he does not, but we have differing views on a general matter of going out at night. He believes it is extremely unsafe for a young woman to go out at night alone, whether it be to somewhere like a bar, or just for a run. The fact that I am a female has a substantial influence on his view of me going out at night alone, however I think that though women do have a tendency to be more often attacked and harmed than men, that it is not unreasonable for me to go out alone at night and early in the morning for various reasons. I have been experiencing a health issue lately that causes me to pass out, and I can see how that'd be another issue, but in generally good health, I would like to know if others think it is really too dangerous for a female to go out alone late, and why. Thanks in advance.

that largely depends on where you live, or where you are going. i wouldn't recommend a woman go alone to a biker bar on a friday night for example.

unless of course you are a biker babe...

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well personally i don't think you as 17 years old girl should go out at night alone

or like the person above said .. to bars alone

it wouldn't be a problem if there was some one with you but as 17 years old girl .. and alone

that would look like easy vicitim to any creep they surely wouldn't miss it

and the blackout issue just top it off .. imagin blackout out where there's no people around

that kinda of put your life in the hand of the person who finds you ... so will he be a creep ? or a normal person ?

sounds like big gamble not with money though it's your life

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