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WhiteButterfly

Release

4 posts in this topic

Walking the same length of footpath every day, waiting for somebody to stop,

Say hello.

Everyone passes by, not even a glance, I walk,

Not stopping.

Nobody notices me, everyone shut me out -

After the ‘accident’;

No help, no sympathy,

I just keep walking.

My mother passes one day; I ask her what’s wrong,

She doesn’t hear me.

She keeps walking, mourning in loss,

For her daughter.

I was my mother’s only child, only then do I look and see,

The gash across my shoulder blades, the deformity in my crushed bones.

I have realized what has happened;

Release.

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Neato! I could visualize that quite well! thanks!

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hm..

This poem has a lot of feelings in it, and a great context as it is build up with pathos. It is a different text than what one usually find... however, it feels a little empty, overused. It might be simple and good, but it lacks something of which I might not name by certain words. It is however a good poem even if it lacks at some places.

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Very well done :tu:

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