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Infinitemind

I am in desperate situation! Need Help!

47 posts in this topic

I am leaving my family in a few days. I told my siblings already. My life was never

my life! My life has always been controlled my them! My decision was never my decision.

Those people are not even my family! I hate them! Living in a sunni muslim family

is not easy, especially since they are really strict on you. I was never allowed to

have a gf. I was never allowed to hang around with my friends after school, i was

never allowed to go to their house. I was always lonely and the nerd. But slowly

i started changing myself. Now i am leaving them. But i don't know where to go?!!!

Those people always made me depend on them. I don't even have a job. They make me

work for them in the family store where there is NO profit! It is going so bad

that me and my "brother" are working there for free! I have lost faith in Islam.

I think i am leaving Islam. Can anybody please help me?

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Posted (edited)

Just checked your profile, nvm.

I'm sure there are shelters or something you can go to. I hope someone here can give you better advice than I could. I hope things work out for you though.

Edited by arenee
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May I ask how old you are?

I am 22 years old. I live in Jamaica, Queens in New York City.

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I am 22 years old. I live in Jamaica, Queens in New York City.

I think if you look up places there are plenty who would be willing to get you out of your situation. I can't imagine what your life is like or what the situation is but there are places out there who would help you find a job and get on your feet. I have limited access to certain web info here at work but I'm sure a quick google search and some phone calls could lead you in the right direction.

What do your siblings think of your leaving?

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I think if you look up places there are plenty who would be willing to get you out of your situation. I can't imagine what your life is like or what the situation is but there are places out there who would help you find a job and get on your feet. I have limited access to certain web info here at work but I'm sure a quick google search and some phone calls could lead you in the right direction.

What do your siblings think of your leaving?

They are crazy too! They are just using the name of Islam to control me like them. Please i need your help!

I need to stand on my own feet. Can you give me any contact numbers or something?

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They are crazy too! They are just using the name of Islam to control me like them. Please i need your help!

I need to stand on my own feet. Can you give me any contact numbers or something?

I really wish I could. Like I said my computer is very limited to the things I can search on here. I'm lucky they've not blocked UM. Although most of the pics, videos etc, are not visible to me. I don't have access to most webpages on the computers here. I do admire your standing up for yourself and I hope someone here can help you locate someone who can help you? Do you go to college or anything?

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If you have access to the internet, you can look things up through any number of search engines. We're not generally in the business of offering advice of this nature. You're in the United States, so that's a start. You have work experience, even though it sounds like you weren't paid much, if at all. Look in the phonebook under government listings. Here where I live, they are printed on blue pages to stand out. Look through there and find an appropriate number.

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I really wish I could. Like I said my computer is very limited to the things I can search on here. I'm lucky they've not blocked UM. Although most of the pics, videos etc, are not visible to me. I don't have access to most webpages on the computers here. I do admire your standing up for yourself and I hope someone here can help you locate someone who can help you? Do you go to college or anything?

I used to go to Hunter College. I dropped 2 years ago. I am just so depressed in my life! It's

all thanks to my "family!!!!!"

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Posted (edited)

I am 22 years old. I live in Jamaica, Queens in New York City.

http://www.tc.columbia.edu/muslim-nyc/

http://www.masnet.org/main/

Maybe try to save some money first ? Before just leaving.

Having nothing ,is not a good idea.

In the meanwhile,contact these 2 places.

Maybe they can help you find a place to stay until you can find a job .

Let me talk to a friend of mine.She actually got a woman out of Iraq and gave her asylum in ny.She might know someone.

This person might be able to help you as well.

http://www.asylumist.com/

Edited by Simbi Laveau

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Is this post serious? If it is I think you need to figure things out BEFORE you leave...also a bunch of people that post on a website might not be the best source of advice...

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I am 22 years old. I live in Jamaica, Queens in New York City.

Good luck in your search for happiness. Stay strong and have faith in yourself.... if you can let us know how you get on. Rooting for you :)

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I am 22 years old. I live in Jamaica, Queens in New York City.

New York Dept of Youth and Community Development

Go to the "Runaway and Homeless Youth" section and there are links to various shelters such as Crisis Centres - if you are determined to leave and have nowhere else to go.

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Is this post serious? If it is I think you need to figure things out BEFORE you leave...also a bunch of people that post on a website might not be the best source of advice...

I think it is serious.Sadly so .

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Hi Infinite,

Deciding to leave an intolerable situation is a wise decision. It's really important to stay focused on your goal and to keep the anger and frustration you feel under control. Those feelings are justifiable, but they can muddle your thinking at this time. Please take advantage of any or all of the resources people have listed here.

It's always darkest before the dawn, and you've definitely passed through many a dark night. You deserve a brand new day, so to speak. My heart goes out to you and I wish you the very best. I believe you're going to come through this.

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I am leaving my family in a few days. I told my siblings already. My life was never

my life! My life has always been controlled my them! My decision was never my decision.

Those people are not even my family! I hate them! Living in a sunni muslim family

is not easy, especially since they are really strict on you. I was never allowed to

have a gf. I was never allowed to hang around with my friends after school, i was

never allowed to go to their house. I was always lonely and the nerd. But slowly

i started changing myself. Now i am leaving them. But i don't know where to go?!!!

Those people always made me depend on them. I don't even have a job. They make me

work for them in the family store where there is NO profit! It is going so bad

that me and my "brother" are working there for free! I have lost faith in Islam.

I think i am leaving Islam. Can anybody please help me?

As said, just plan it well first. I don't know what kind of ressources you have there so you might want to check on this.

If you move but are unable to sustain your needs, you could have to go back and it might be something you prefer avoiding for a while.

Seriously, I don't want to judge your parents, I don't know them. But the behaviors you relate to in your opening post are those that pssz me off my mind. But hell, I guess your parents do what they think is the best for you according to how they have been raised. *Sigh*

The most important here is you. At 22 of age, you are well enough old to be able to decide for yourself. Leaving this situation will most probably ease off the tension and help you dealing with those feelings. This is hard work but in the end, it will most likely change your life for the better.

I seriously wish you the best my friend.

Peace.

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http://www.tc.columbia.edu/muslim-nyc/

http://www.masnet.org/main/

Maybe try to save some money first ? Before just leaving.

Having nothing ,is not a good idea.

In the meanwhile,contact these 2 places.

Maybe they can help you find a place to stay until you can find a job .

Let me talk to a friend of mine.She actually got a woman out of Iraq and gave her asylum in ny.She might know someone.

This person might be able to help you as well.

http://www.asylumist.com/

Dude, the first link is just a gathering of muslim people or something.

The second one, is the Muslim American Society which is just a trust fund for imam mahdi

and i don't think muslims are the kind to help other muslims get out of their families.

The third link, is just for people who want to be asylum lawyers or be in the law careers.

I am in no position for that!

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Is this post serious? If it is I think you need to figure things out BEFORE you leave...also a bunch of people that post on a website might not be the best source of advice...

Dude OFCOURSE this is serious! I have no time for jokes like this! Dude, i don't have the luxury of time. I want to leave as soon as possible!

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New York Dept of Youth and Community Development

Go to the "Runaway and Homeless Youth" section and there are links to various shelters such as Crisis Centres - if you are determined to leave and have nowhere else to go.

Actually it's for housing benefits, fatherhood, help for seniors, and domestic violence prevention. The website

is right, but the link in the website is wrong. Here is the correct one, http://www.nyc.gov/html/dycd/html/jobs/jobs_internships.shtml

This one seems helpful. Thanks

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Dude OFCOURSE this is serious! I have no time for jokes like this! Dude, i don't have the luxury of time. I want to leave as soon as possible!

dude, what do you expect of strangers on a forum to do for you?

No one here knows you from adam; nor does anyone know your situation or why you need to leave suddenly without money, or a place to go. We all have the same link to Google that you do, and you are far more aware of your own situation than any of us could ever be.

I don't know how you can expect complete strangers to try and fix your problems for you. Get a job, get money, and move out. Beyond that, no one can tell you how to resolve your own life problems but you. You are 22 years old for gods sake, you are an adult. Treat yourself like one, and resolve the problems you are facing. If family is getting in the way, than respectfully tell them that you need to have certain things in your life, and if they cannot support you, then you will have to cut them off.

You have had 4 years of adulthood in order to plan for making decisions for yourself, more than enough time to start putting money in the bank, building up credit, and getting a job. Running away into the middle of the night with no moeny and no place to go sounds like a rather childish act. It is time for you to man up, and plan for your own life as every adult should.

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If you're 22 and a Western citizen, you should have no problem moving away, getting a job and living on your own. I don't know if you've left Islam, but if you have, you might want to keep that a secret from your family so as not to be disowned or killed (if they're that devout).

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I spoke to my friend.She sent me some info from the Archdiocese of nyc. They hhave places you can go .

You should go to a catholic church ,and tell them you need help.They will help you .

It's called refugee resettlement

The phone number is two one two four one nine three seven six four .

Or for the hotline ,two one two four one nine three seven three seven

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Posted (edited)

Actually it's for housing benefits, fatherhood, help for seniors, and domestic violence prevention. The website

is right, but the link in the website is wrong. Here is the correct one, http://www.nyc.gov/html/dycd/html/jobs/jobs_internships.shtml

This one seems helpful. Thanks

You're welcome. Sorry about the incorect link, I had thought I linked the home page and it's strange it went to the Family section because I never visited that. *shrugs*

Oh well, so long as it's helpful. There's not much information about centres or hostels on the site, but a google of New York hostels should give you a fair number of possible accommodations if you have to leave home before you are really prepared.

I appreciate that sometimes desperate action seems the best option - and sometimes it is - but you should plan and prepare as much as possible. I also appreciate that sometimes, when caught in a situation as you seem to be, it is difficult to think clearly - which is why you have appealed here for help, I suppose. Again, the same advice about taking a breath, slowing down and planning/preparing might help you more than sudden, possibly rash, action.

All that said, I wish you the best.

Edited by Leonardo

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I am leaving my family in a few days. I told my siblings already. My life was never

my life! My life has always been controlled my them! My decision was never my decision.

Those people are not even my family! I hate them! Living in a sunni muslim family

is not easy, especially since they are really strict on you. I was never allowed to

have a gf. I was never allowed to hang around with my friends after school, i was

never allowed to go to their house. I was always lonely and the nerd. But slowly

i started changing myself. Now i am leaving them. But i don't know where to go?!!!

Those people always made me depend on them. I don't even have a job. They make me

work for them in the family store where there is NO profit! It is going so bad

that me and my "brother" are working there for free! I have lost faith in Islam.

I think i am leaving Islam. Can anybody please help me?

It seems like you are getting some good advice here... So I'm just going to throw out a suggestion. Since you are headed out on your own with nothing,,,,, a scary proposition for anyone... I would recommend holding it in your mind as an exciting adventure rather than a desprate flight. Your attitude is what is going to carry you through.

You will also need some survival skills search on YouTube for a man named David canturbury wilderness outfitters archery. He has a plethora of "common man" survival skills. Many of which you will probably find great use of in the comeing times.

Good luck, and remember that times like these define us. In a way I envey you for the adventure that is in front of you.

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