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The_Sensual_One

[Archived] YOU are BANNED! (Part 2)

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Banned for that very clever ban!

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Banned for I am not really very fond of geese...ever since I was attacked by an entire herd of them...and when I finally was able to get in my car for safety...they continued pecking my car like some mad scene out of an Alfred Hitchcock movie.

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Banned for reminding me of the time my friend was similarly attacked by geese that tried to mug him on a bridge.

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Banned for I’m the only member of my family that was never attacked by geese. My mother said that’s because the geese spotted the resemblance and thinking I’m one of them left me alone, and when I reminded her of "like mother like daughter" phrase, she felt all offended.

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Banned for not roasting the geese

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Banned for bearing my geese story in mind... it would be sort of cannibalism on my part.

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Banned for making me laugh so hard I nearly spilled my tea!

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Banned for it's not hard enough, until you shoot tea out of your nose.

To be honest, it happens more often with beer than with tea, it's probably because of the viscosity.

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Banned because I could just do with a beer but we have none!

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Banned for reminding me I never found out what they did with the huge vat of beer in which a worker drowned. Since it couldn’t have spoiled the usual taste, they probably just carried on as usual.

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Banned for making me suspicious of the hygiene of beer.

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Banned for oh, no, it’s totally hygienic. Once some guy found a lizard in the beer and the poor reptile was perfectly preserved. No unusual smell or anything.

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Banned for that interesting fact, which I have just shared with my husband.

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Banned for thinking 'no unusual smell' is guarantee of high standard of hygeine! :lol:

oops! bit slow there.

Edited by ouija ouija
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Banned for that shrewd comment!

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Banned for: I think you'll find it was a reptile not a shrew. :P

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Banned for speaking of animal kingdom, it’s easier to talk a dog into sharing his bone than a husband into sharing his beer.

Both are domesticated, but only one of them can be trained to behave.

Kidding. I bet my husband would let me take his beer away. I’ll be right back, I have an experiment to conduct.

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Banned for taking a stupid risk. *stands by with antiseptic, bandages, plasters etc*

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Banned for not providing a hypoallergenic alternative to plasters!

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Banned for what would that be? Cabbage leaves?

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Banned because I actually prefer cauliflower.

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Banned for cabbage is better choice, no kidding, it actually does have antiseptic properties. Take fresh, raw cabbage leave, crush it a little to start releasing its fluid and use as compress for aching joints, scratches, bruises, small infections, corns and such. Fasten with normal bandage. Traditionally prepared sour cabbage is antiseptic too, believe it or not, especially good for bleeding gums or wounds after removing teeth, because it's both salty and naturally antiseptic.

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Banned because I might use that in a novel, if that would be okay!

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Banned because they don't come more novel than Helen :lol: !

:blush: sorry.

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Banned, surely I do not need to explain...

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