sarah snow Posted July 21, 2012 #1 Share Posted July 21, 2012 (edited) Hey Peeps, My dear mate has been through having her breast removed last week- a shock as it was so quick!! They caught the Big C in good time. But she has to have chemo and Radiotherapthy. My pal is brilliant- we've been at hospie together, and I was there yesterday with her when they said she'll have to have full blasts and 6 months and all that jazz. She's prepared. She can take any pain, she a tough boot xx What she is sad about, is losing her hair :-( When we were driving back, she said she felt ungrateful as she gets to live when treatment is done, but she's gutted about her hair. She's never worn a scrap of make up in her life. I've been her friend since 1988 and we've gone through thick and thin, and she is not at all a girly girl. But her hair is gorgeous, and that for her to feel gutted to lose that, is not being selfish, it's a part of her identity that is going to be gone for a while xx She says she feels not a bit lopsided in her head, as she doesn't miss her right Tit, which was removed last week!! LOL xxx But her lovely hair. She's allowed, to be a bit girly, I reckon xx So, we've got a lot of crap over the next 6 months, together, my lovely mate and I xx I really think, in my life eveything happens for a reason. I'm giving up the pub I love, and now I know why I needed to be a lot more free, with time. I can take a local job, where I am there 100%. Meant to be :-) When she starts her chemo in about 4 weeks time, I am getting my hair shaved to a Grade 1, and we are going to have wigs :-) I can't go though her pain, but I can share the hair loss xx We're laughing about it, already. I was always the girly girl, and she's tried a little bit to dissuade me from having my head shaved, but she knows it's futile. We are in this together. She's always been there for me. You lose your hair, I lose mine xx So, what are your suggestions for suitable wigs- I will need to have a daytime suitable one, for everyday job wearing. Also a fun one, and I like colours, but am 45 years ols so maybe should be a tad sensible sometimes, although that's boring LOL xx :-) Edited July 21, 2012 by sarah snow 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Tumbleweed Posted July 21, 2012 #2 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Sarah, you are a great, true friend for doing this. Sounds like your friend has a strong brave attitude about this and I'm sure she is going to pull through it because of it. As far as picking out a wig to wear, I say go for comfort make sure they are not itchy on your neck and head and light so you don't get to hot. A fun thing would be for you and your friend to get a matching wig 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarah snow Posted July 21, 2012 Author #3 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Sarah, you are a great, true friend for doing this. Sounds like your friend has a strong brave attitude about this and I'm sure she is going to pull through it because of it. As far as picking out a wig to wear, I say go for comfort make sure they are not itchy on your neck and head and light so you don't get to hot. A fun thing would be for you and your friend to get a matching wig Hi hunny- thanks for your lovely comments, she is really brave, leaves me in awe with her positivity Honestly, this is just payback time- she's always been there for me over the years xxxx xxx 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ealdwita Posted July 21, 2012 #4 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Respect, Sarah! How about a couple of nice, elegant 'syrups' for everyday wear and if the budget allows - two outrageous 'fun' ones? I wish your chum all the luck in the world. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Waffles Posted July 21, 2012 #5 Share Posted July 21, 2012 (edited) You are an amazing friend! very supportive i haven't seen any wig shops around though :/ sorry x p.s. i'm in Hampshire, not sure where you are Edited July 21, 2012 by Insightful Waffles 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schizoidwoman Posted July 21, 2012 #6 Share Posted July 21, 2012 You're a brilliant friend, Sarah, I think she'll be just fine with you batting for her! I will ask my sister, who has a few wigs but I also wonder if you get wigs that can be dyed, then she can change it as and whenever she likes... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarah snow Posted July 23, 2012 Author #7 Share Posted July 23, 2012 (edited) You're a brilliant friend, Sarah, I think she'll be just fine with you batting for her! I will ask my sister, who has a few wigs but I also wonder if you get wigs that can be dyed, then she can change it as and whenever she likes... Thanks hunny, but she's the brilliant one xxx It's just happened, SO quickly!! This has taken the rug from under my feet! She knows me so well, and to be honest, we laugh all the time when we are together. When I turned up with a bowl of fruit (she's not a fan of cut flowers, and her place is filled with them LOL, but it's lovely good will, from people who care, and she'd NEVER say that xx) her eyes filled up xx She stopped that quick, as she knows she'll start me off too.....and she's just got this 6 months of crap, and then we'll be tickety boo!! I can't tell you, how much we laughed yesterday, when I was tring to fasten her bra on, now she has one boobie and a softie!! I was crying a bit as I worried I was hurting her, and she was just literally laughing at me being upset I was hurting her as she said I wasn't!!! Ended up, us both in stiches xx Magic moments xxx Tough Bird xx When we lived in this village, and I got a job that would take me abroad, in 1990- we danced to this, the night I left to fly to Crete the next morning. : [media=] [/media]Time nor Tide, will ever divide us xxx I think a purple wig, as that's the signature colour for our local chemo unit, where we are going to be sometime soon xxx Edited July 23, 2012 by sarah snow 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarah snow Posted July 23, 2012 Author #8 Share Posted July 23, 2012 (edited) So funny, Flower was always the one who knew the bands. I've had a song in my head, and it bugged me, and she said "Nahh...they did Horse With No Name" But, it is them!! She called me up today, and said she was glad I was a couple of miles away, as if I'd known she was mowing the lawn, I'd be hoofing up her drive, and giving her rollocking!!!! [media=]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJrvYtA3lUM[/media] She drives me MAD!! She's supposed to be resting after a major operation!!!! xxxxxx I'm not cross, she just is pretty awesome, she always was xxxx I'm driving her for her hospital appointment tomorrow. Bless her socks, she HATES not being able to drive. For fun wig- I'm thinking streaks of purple, vibrant pink and violet? xx Edited July 23, 2012 by sarah snow 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ealdwita Posted July 23, 2012 #9 Share Posted July 23, 2012 Would you like me to ask Elton if he's finished with this one? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eldorado Posted July 23, 2012 #10 Share Posted July 23, 2012 (edited) I salute you, Sarah and wish your friend future good health. If she's game for a laugh... one of these is a must.... https://www.google.c...iw=1360&bih=596 Edited July 23, 2012 by Eldorado 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiffSplitkins Posted July 23, 2012 #11 Share Posted July 23, 2012 Sarah, I have the utmost respect for you for standing so closely by for your friend. Your friend will still be beautiful and you just have to keep letting her know that. As far as wig ideas, I prefer this style.... 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ealdwita Posted July 23, 2012 #12 Share Posted July 23, 2012 Hey - a Chihuawig! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schizoidwoman Posted July 23, 2012 #13 Share Posted July 23, 2012 Sarah, I have the utmost respect for you for standing so closely by for your friend. Your friend will still be beautiful and you just have to keep letting her know that. As far as wig ideas, I prefer this style.... That's got a look of a young Cilla Black. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8r5KcavfltE/SnxhJMXnokI/AAAAAAAAFlw/pBXqSntWEEQ/s1600-h/Cilla_Black.jpg 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ealdwita Posted July 23, 2012 #14 Share Posted July 23, 2012 That's got a look of a young Cilla Black. http://2.bp.blogspot...Cilla_Black.jpg Probably sings like her too! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashotep Posted July 24, 2012 #15 Share Posted July 24, 2012 I think its great you are standing by her and being supportive. Someone like you makes a difference in surviving something like cancer. She's lucky to have a friend like you many people don't. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted July 24, 2012 #16 Share Posted July 24, 2012 http://www.e-wigs.com/wigs-for-cancer-patients.html 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted July 24, 2012 #17 Share Posted July 24, 2012 http://www.wigsforcancerpatients.org/ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simbi Laveau Posted July 24, 2012 #18 Share Posted July 24, 2012 I hope she's up and around soon. I don't think you're in the USA,but maybe there places can help you . I lost one of my best friends to mesothelioma,and my other best pal had breast cancer. Xxoo http://breastcancer.about.com/od/wigsandcancertreatment/a/free_wigs_for_cancer.htm 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarah snow Posted July 25, 2012 Author #19 Share Posted July 25, 2012 (edited) I hope she's up and around soon. I don't think you're in the USA,but maybe there places can help you . I lost one of my best friends to mesothelioma,and my other best pal had breast cancer. Xxoo http://breastcancer...._for_cancer.htm I'm so sorry, for the loss of your friend Thank you for the suggestions too- and to everyone else. I reckon Elton's wig might be a bit flamboyant, even for me, but you did give me such a laugh, with all your wonderful suggestions and links. You guys are brilliant xxx It is a really crackers time for me, as my mate's illness has hit at a time when I'm also training for a big charity sea swim, which I am undertaking in September, so I was busy with running a business as well (not for too much longer, but long and boring story! Just nothing is timed well in life, just roll with the punches hey!). All the training for swimming I've been preparing for, an 11 mile open swim for local charities, so to put it mildly, this has filled all my time totally. But, I wouldn't have it any other way. It also gives extra meaning to raising the funds for the swim, as the local chemotherapy unit I am swimming for (amongst other beneficiaries) are going to be the ones who will be treating her, to it all falls into place in ways we could not have predicted, even 5 weeks ago xx We've gone together, to have fluid drained from her former booby space- I am certainly leaving behind any fear of ikky stuff, and being proper brave....kind of.... She's met things head-on, like she has always done her whole life. Yesterday- hairdressers appointment. She sent a message: "Booked the appointment. Been in this morning. Done it. . Hair short now. Bang. No point in * -ing about, is there? I think it looks cool". That's my Bird!! You're so right, BiffSplitKins, she'll still be beautiful. I've called her a lil sex kitten on email, now she's got short hair, LOL. She'll tell me to feck off with a smile, if I say that to her face tomorrow, and then we'll fall about laughing She's been going bats with cabin fever being stuck at home, as she has always driven everywhere herself and even used to do banger racing, but she's driven a bit today and it was alright, the seat belt was not too painful with her softie in. Tomorrow, she's been called to the hospital, I think it's about starting her chemo. She hasn't said too much, just asked if I can go with her. So we'll know more tomorrow about how it's going to pan out for the next few weeks. Whatever it takes, we'll work around it somehow THANK YOU so much, to you All. You are just great. :clap: xx Edited July 25, 2012 by sarah snow 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted July 25, 2012 #20 Share Posted July 25, 2012 No one could ask for a better friend than you, sarah. My heart goes out to both of you! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarah snow Posted July 26, 2012 Author #21 Share Posted July 26, 2012 LOL, she had a total laugh at my expense yesterday. I am petrified of escalators- they freak me out! I can't be doing with that whole movable staircase thing She knows it too, as years ago when I was an air hostess, I used to whine beyond big time to her on the telephone, about having to navigate the big one at Manchester airport, if we flew in there. And trying to get on one, whilst towing a crew bag- arghh!! She used to larf at me so much every time, bless her So last week I found out she needed shopping........and she dared me......to go to a local big supermarket, and they've got 2 levels........with an escalator...for the trolley....... I did it, but she laughed her left one off both ways, while I clung to her back all the way up...and down.... was horrible!! :blush: But at least now her lovely little granddaughter will not be able to take the p*** out of me anymore LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rashore Posted July 26, 2012 #22 Share Posted July 26, 2012 (edited) Ok, I just read the OP and didn't read much else.. Boo-ya to you!!! Rock on I will make suggestions for both of you. I say this from the personal experience of a father in law and husband that went through cancer and passed away. My current mum in law is now fully healed from surgery and is coming on her year mark of medically clear, hooray! And my sister loves using wigs, and she's pretty picky about them since she regularly wears them. For nicer wigs, try looking for costume rental or sale shops in your area that are open year round. If you can find a rental that also sells, those are the best ones. Some haberdashers and hair styling places can have good stuff too. Unless you have tried it on in person or totally trust a particular wigmakers product line, don't order something without trying it on in person. Ask the medical staff what places they recommend. And if you see something you like on a fellow patient, don't feel too weird about asking them if their hair is real and if not where did they get their wig from. You can gain valuable resources and make another patient feel good about their choice of accoutrements. Don't be afraid of either one of you being totally sexy bald or closely cropped. Yes, it is unusual in women, but some women just got sexy noggins that way. Look for wigs that are multisegment. By this I mean look at the mesh skullcap that's holding the hair. Avoid ones that are a single to three part cap. Good wigs usually have at least five parts- bangs, sides, crown strip and back of neck part. Some good wigs have more strips, but don't be fooled by a ton of strips. Some of the crappier wigs come from sewing together fringes of hair into caps. Human hair wigs are available, but can be pricey. If either one of you loves your hair and can afford to have it set into a wig, by all means do so. If either one of you have good hair but can't afford a wig, consider donating your hair. Contact whatever agency locally you would use to donate and see if there is any availability to help you use your own hair for your wig. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it's a no-go. If you aren't quite so ok with human hair or can't afford it or get resource help with it.. there are a lot of synthetics out there now that are quite good. It's just a matter of treating them as nicely as you would your "real" hair. Be aware that wigs really do make your head bigger. Don't be alarmed if/when headgear fits different. Like that baseball cap needs a notch or few release, or that favorite winter knit cap just does not work like it used to. I passed off a flatcap recently to my sister because it was too loose on my currently wigless hair but she wears wigs on a weekly basis. Looked poor on me but looks great on her with the wigs to support it. Edited July 26, 2012 by rashore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarah snow Posted July 28, 2012 Author #23 Share Posted July 28, 2012 (edited) We went together yesterday, for the consultations. First to get the booby drain, then to the Doctor who is heading up the chemo unit. Funny thing, the Nurse put the fear of bejeezus up both up us by saying that the Doc is "not a fluffy bunny" and would "tell it as it is, and be very direct", and that we should "Be Prepared" How much was I like expecting a terrible School Ma'am, after THAT prep talk What we both experienced, was a wonderfully competent Doctor, who was actually not scary at all. What she said, was scary- there is evidence of agressive cancer in one lump, but they can blast that. It's the first time, I've seen my mate flinch. BUT, we knew that anyway She just said afterwards, it's like she's hearing it and not being part of it, dissassociation. It's not spread to any of the lymph nodes, so it's a good thing. We knew that before. Must admit, I was like a naughty schoolgirl, in front of the Doc. After we came out, I just exhaled a lot, and said "She actually wasn't scary at all, was she?" Flower: "No, I thought that too!" (Not that she's afraid of anything, she never had been. Funny, the toughest farmer I know would not take her on in a fight LOL xx ) I just thought, and said to Flower that the Consultant was a lovely woman. She didn't soft-soap at all. Told it, as it will be. Flower wants that- she doesn't want endless leaflets, all that crap. Face to face honesty, no matter what she is going to hear. She's always been that way But the Doctor was actually a very warm person. She had very kind eyes, and when she was explaining to Flower about the harshness of the treatment, she was also looking at me, to make sure I understood, as she had been told I was the support friend who will be there throughout. We were both so impressed. LOL. I also confessed to Flower afterwards, that Doc's shoes were quite sparkly, and I was loving them So, it begins in about 2-3 weeks. Not going to be pleasant, but she's got two lovely sons who will be ther 100%, and the hardest thing for her is if she feels poorly, she's not to not have contact with the little'uns. She spends so much time with her granddaughter. That was another flinch, I saw :-( xxxx We went shopping, and I've bought her a pineberry plant!! Her granddaughter is transfixed, and they've had so much fun together planting it in the garden. Flower has explained to her Granddaughter, that if they manage to get fruit from it, it will look like a bit like a strawberry on the outside (but weird) , but taste a bit like pineapple. She can't wait for the fruit to be ready Happy Days xxxxx Flower is signed off work for 6 weeks, but she going to work on Monday. I'm not going to try in any way, shape or form to dissuade her. This woman knows her limits, and I think she's going to go in to sort out her rotas (she manages the place) so she can ensure it effectively works, now she has some guidelines for time frames. I stand in awe, as always xx Edited July 28, 2012 by sarah snow 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarah snow Posted July 28, 2012 Author #24 Share Posted July 28, 2012 (edited) No one could ask for a better friend than you, sarah. My heart goes out to both of you! Michelle, if you could have known how much she's been there for me over the years, it really is just being there for her now, as she has always been there for me xx She's very special. I was always the fluffy one, but not any more xx. She just deserves my support 100%. I love her to her bones, it's as simple as that. If she's upset about losing her hair, I can go through that with her. I can't do the eyebrows, the eyelashes..... when we were sitting there and hearing that.....I just wanted to cry, but she was strong throughout. It really is nothing to sacrifice on my part, when she is faced with so much more xx We will get through this, and your lovely wishes are so much appreciated xx Edited July 28, 2012 by sarah snow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarah snow Posted July 29, 2012 Author #25 Share Posted July 29, 2012 (edited) A bit sad, as my Mother has been very negative, about this. I did know, it would happen. We're not doing it with any fanfare. In fact, we'd only been talking about her son having some hair clippers. I'm just wantng to do it quietly, and if her son will do it, at her home, just us and her son/s, privately My Mother has said I am making my mate's hair loss "a big issue, when it doesn't need to be". YOU do so much for everyone else *rant rant* and nobody does anything for you *rant rant* I know she's looking out for me, but on this occasion- she is wrong, IMHO. I think so. But it makes me sad, she's hoofed out tonight in a mare. I try not to disrespect my Mother, but she isn't always right, about choices I make in my life. I'm an only child, so it's difficult for her, I get that xx :-( Edited July 30, 2012 by sarah snow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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