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Still Waters

Ban Christmas lists for children says charity

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A carefully written letter to Father Christmas is an annual tradition for many children, but according to the Mothers' Union it should be a thing of the past as the charity calls for an end to the 'commercialised' Christmas list.

The families' charity has urged parents to ditch the list, because they feel pressured into making their children's 'present pile' as big as possible.

http://www.telegraph...es-charity.html

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My daughter writes a letter every year to Santa.. This year, she has a list of things she wants...

1 - Chemistry set with lab coat

2 - Doctors play set

3 - Telescope

4 - Globe light

5 - Poster / Canvas of Elvis Presley

6 - A dog that can walk and bark... A fureal friend

7 - Crayola lights art set

8 - A toy with crazy hair.... She cannot remember the name of lol

9 - An electric car racing track..like Hot Wheels

10 - A few DVD's

She has worked hard all year and I feel she deserves what she asked for... I see no pressure in any of it.. I have bought 5 of the items already and my husband is planning on getting the rest soon.. We want all got before Dec arrives ... I like to see a child get excited and look forward to Christmas.. Because I know it doesn't last long.. This time next year she may well no longer believe in Santa.. I value it while it lasts

Edited by Beckys_Mom
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"We wouldn’t want to spoil the traditions of Christmas, but we are asking parents to consider ditching the Christmas list specifically to help reduce this sense of disappointment at what should be a time of happiness for all the family. "

If kids are getting disappointed about not getting what is on their list, then who's fault is that really? When I was a kid, my brother and I would write our list out knowing full well that we wouldn't be getting everything on the list. Usually we got one or two things we asked for. It was more of a "wish list" than anything really.

It works the same way for my kids, but thankfully they only really "request" one or two things. They have just as much fun picking out toys to donate to toy drives as they do thinking up their lists.

I think it's obvious that Christmas (and pretty much every other holiday these days) is way over commercialized, but there are other ways of balancing that out.

Edited by sarah_444
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The families' charity has urged parents to ditch the list, because they feel pressured into making their children's 'present pile' as big as possible.

No list, no way! Most parents are so out of touch with what kids want these days, especially if you have kids between the ages of 10-17. I say it's good to have a wish list, at least that way you have some sort of idea where to begin.

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When i was told by my father to make a list i was told, a maximum of 10 items and put some additional mentions. After all i dident want santa being over his weight limit for obvious health and safty reason ^^.

Seriously the list is a great way of finding out what your child wants without destroying the illusion of jolly Saint Nicholas. Let the kids make there lists.

997Santa_Claus.jpg

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This time next year she may well no longer believe in Santa.. I value it while it lasts

I don't yet have children but when i do this is basically my feeling on the subject. Its a special time for children treasure every minute and tradition. Dent forget Santas milk and cookies!!!

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I don't yet have children but when i do this is basically my feeling on the subject. Its a special time for children treasure every minute and tradition. Dent forget Santas milk and cookies!!!

Me too.. When I see her do all she can to do so well in school, get great reports and helps out a lot at home.. To watch her get all excited about Santa coming and preparing her letter...I feel happy for her...

That innocence wont last...lol

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Seems Mother's union want to break families apart

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When I was a kid, I never got what was on my list. And now, being a single mother with limited income and an ex who always tries to top my gifts...I get my daughter to pick one large gift and a couple of smaller gifts. I believe in quality not quantity. I have thrown out too many 'gifts' that lasted one day. I've also taught my daughter Christmas is about giving not getting. Eventhough we are not well off, we make sure that we give to the less fortunate rather and give each other less. This is the time to shape our children's perceptions of society. I don't eant my daughter to be one of those gimme, gimme kids.

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It is so abysmally stupid to ban lists, or holiday activities, or fast food or anything! because parents will "feel pressure" to give in to their children and buy them everything their greedy little hearts' desire.

Be a parent for goodness sake! You're the adult. You decide how things go down.

My kids can make a list as long as they want, but they know they're just ideas because Santa (when they believed in him) doesn't know the personality of every child on earth. All their lives they got presents from the family, plus ONE present from Santa Christmas morning. And they were just as thrilled and excited to get that one special present than they would have been with ten.

Teach your kids not to be greedy.

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Christmas lists aren't what has commercialised Christmas. Putting out the Christmas merchandise at retailers the day after Halloween is what has commercialised Christmas.

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Children needa learn patience and not having the "gimmes", they will not have every single thing on the Christmas toy list. We fear spoiling our children while at the same time we don't want our children to go empty handed. It's a paradox unto itself on properly raising children to independence with an emphasis of not depraving them.

When the economy is generally bad, millions of parents out of work and families are without a stable income. Children may grow up in these times on the importance of what you have isn't important, Christmas isn't originally about toys or things, the spirit of the holiday shouldn't be replaced entirely by materialism...the time of faith, family and friends are what we naturally possess and valued most.

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It's funny that we think extravagant gifts are what makes kids happy. I tend to find the simpler and more creative things are really what floats their boats.

And maybe this is some antedotal evidence of that.

My bf and I were at the grocery store waiting in line and a man was in front of us with a little girl who appeared to be roughly four years old. She was quietly sobbing. Not making a scene, but just standing there sobbing, and looking very dejected and unhappy. The clerk leaned over the counter and said to her "Honey, you were very happy when you came in, why are you so sad?" (as her father is rolling his eyes copiously lol) She said "I wanted a juice and daddy said no cuz we have some at home!"

The clerk leaned over and said "young lady come over here I have something for you" Clerk proceeded to put a Chiquita banana sticker on the tykes forhead, then told her to ask her dad for a giant hug and to go home and tell her mom that she got a sticker and a hug at the store. LOL. That little girl went and got a hug from dad, and walked out beaming from ear to ear.

Kids don't need a lot to be happy... they just need their adults to be creative and ready to listen and offer solutions.

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It's funny that we think extravagant gifts are what makes kids happy. I tend to find the simpler and more creative things are really what floats their boats.

And maybe this is some antedotal evidence of that.

My bf and I were at the grocery store waiting in line and a man was in front of us with a little girl who appeared to be roughly four years old. She was quietly sobbing. Not making a scene, but just standing there sobbing, and looking very dejected and unhappy. The clerk leaned over the counter and said to her "Honey, you were very happy when you came in, why are you so sad?" (as her father is rolling his eyes copiously lol) She said "I wanted a juice and daddy said no cuz we have some at home!"

The clerk leaned over and said "young lady come over here I have something for you" Clerk proceeded to put a Chiquita banana sticker on the tykes forhead, then told her to ask her dad for a giant hug and to go home and tell her mom that she got a sticker and a hug at the store. LOL. That little girl went and got a hug from dad, and walked out beaming from ear to ear.

Kids don't need a lot to be happy... they just need their adults to be creative and ready to listen and offer solutions.

The amount of times my mother would say - No you can't have juice, we have juice at home.. Or cookies ( whatever it was I harped looking ) ..I heard her say that a lot... I have said this to my own kid many times lol :P

I will always remember one Christmas morning, when Becky was just 4 years old...She listed 2 or 3 items that didn't cost much from Santa.. but her grand parents bought her a lot more and her dad and I got her the 2 or 3 items she asked Santa for... Come Christmas morning, we went into her bedroom early and she woke up..asking had Santa come? I said yes..and handed her an orange, with an IOU from Santa..... She looked at the orange and smiled, she said its ok, as long as he came and left me something... She then proceeded to ask if he saw her asleep and ate the mince pie she left him?.......My heart hit the floor and I felt so bad and happy at the same time..I gave her a hug and brought her down stairs to see all the presents..she nearly dropped with excitement..

The fact that she was happy with the orange and grateful he came to see her regardless, made my heart melt ... Ever since she usually would ask for 4 - 5 things and asked if that was ok? This year we told her because she was so good and done so well with school and helping me.. she could ask for a little more..She didn't believe she could ask for more..but we told her just this one time she can.. for every other year little brother Aaron will have to get things and she wont have as many.. She seems ok with that..

That's how it was in our house when we were kids.. because there was 3 of us, we didn't get as many...We saw that as the norm

Edited by Beckys_Mom
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My daughter writes a letter every year to Santa.. This year, she has a list of things she wants...

1 - Chemistry set with lab coat

2 - Doctors play set

3 - Telescope

4 - Globe light

5 - Poster / Canvas of Elvis Presley

6 - A dog that can walk and bark... A fureal friend

7 - Crayola lights art set

8 - A toy with crazy hair.... She cannot remember the name of lol

9 - An electric car racing track..like Hot Wheels

10 - A few DVD's

She has worked hard all year and I feel she deserves what she asked for... I see no pressure in any of it.. I have bought 5 of the items already and my husband is planning on getting the rest soon.. We want all got before Dec arrives ... I like to see a child get excited and look forward to Christmas.. Because I know it doesn't last long.. This time next year she may well no longer believe in Santa.. I value it while it lasts

Good stuff BM , I agree .

It doesn't last forever and when your children work out what Santa really is .... well christmas is not as special as it once was .

TiP.

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My daughter writes a letter every year to Santa.. This year, she has a list of things she wants...

1 - Chemistry set with lab coat

2 - Doctors play set

3 - Telescope

4 - Globe light

5 - Poster / Canvas of Elvis Presley

6 - A dog that can walk and bark... A fureal friend

7 - Crayola lights art set

8 - A toy with crazy hair.... She cannot remember the name of lol

9 - An electric car racing track..like Hot Wheels

10 - A few DVD's

She has worked hard all year and I feel she deserves what she asked for... I see no pressure in any of it.. I have bought 5 of the items already and my husband is planning on getting the rest soon.. We want all got before Dec arrives ... I like to see a child get excited and look forward to Christmas.. Because I know it doesn't last long.. This time next year she may well no longer believe in Santa.. I value it while it lasts

That is quite a substantial list, but I am really liking the fact the chemistry set went number one. This would encourage so much development of knowledge for her to have such a thing. Most of those gifts further encourage it also, like the telescope and doctors play set.

Kinda reinstated a bit of faith I have in our future generations tbh.

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And she likes Elvis! Your daughter is awesome.

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Seems Mother's union want to break families apart

Well they ARE called "Mother's Union" and not "Family Union" or "Parent's Union", there's obviously an inherent bias there.

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When I was a kid, I never got what was on my list. And now, being a single mother with limited income and an ex who always tries to top my gifts...I get my daughter to pick one large gift and a couple of smaller gifts. I believe in quality not quantity. I have thrown out too many 'gifts' that lasted one day. I've also taught my daughter Christmas is about giving not getting. Eventhough we are not well off, we make sure that we give to the less fortunate rather and give each other less. This is the time to shape our children's perceptions of society. I don't eant my daughter to be one of those gimme, gimme kids.

I made a list when I was little. Only one present, usually at the top, was the 'Santa Present'. Everything else was the small gifts we gave each other but which held the most memory. My grandparents (mom's side) always gave us socks and that (since they're long since gone) all of us have sorely missed.Last Christmas, there must have been 17 pairs of socks given out, plus a lot of laughs and remembrances.

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Added thought:

A friend's daughter burst out crying a couple years ago on Christmas morning. She was so tired of opening presents and her parents making a big deal of everything, taking pictures etc.

I think that the poor little tyke would have been happier with a box of coloured markers and a big cardboard box.

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It doesn't last forever and when your children work out what Santa really is .... well christmas is not as special as it once was .

This strikes me as amazingly sad. And for whomever Christmas loses its magic with Santa taken out of it... you have the wrong idea.

And I'm not talking about Jesus, although for Christians of course that should be the focus right? Christmas is generosity, giving of spirit, traditions, family, etc. It's not about getting the biggest, best or most gifts. Sad.

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Children needa learn patience and not having the "gimmes", they will not have every single thing on the Christmas toy list. We fear spoiling our children while at the same time we don't want our children to go empty handed. It's a paradox unto itself on properly raising children to independence with an emphasis of not depraving them.

When the economy is generally bad, millions of parents out of work and families are without a stable income. Children may grow up in these times on the importance of what you have isn't important, Christmas isn't originally about toys or things, the spirit of the holiday shouldn't be replaced entirely by materialism...the time of faith, family and friends are what we naturally possess and valued most.

This is not just about economy but social too. Parents nowadays seem to dishouner their children more and more now as families break up. I have seen mums and dads shout at thier children as they were neighbours that hated each other.

All children should be given presents and not mums and dads spending loads of money on themselves that will not make the child happy

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Good stuff BM , I agree .

It doesn't last forever and when your children work out what Santa really is .... well christmas is not as special as it once was .

I think you are talking more about the innocence of thinking there is a Santa, writing the letter,leaving things out for him and his reindeer, hoping to wake up and catch him etc.. will be gone, and if so, you are right, that part will be gone.. BUT it wont stop her or my young boy from looking forward to Christmas... I know when I found there was no Santa.. it didn't stop me from looking forward to Christmas lol

Speaking of my baby boy.. he wont know what Christmas is for a few years yet.. I would say he would be happy with something that squeaks and the christmas wrapper it came in lol..

That is quite a substantial list, but I am really liking the fact the chemistry set went number one. This would encourage so much development of knowledge for her to have such a thing. Most of those gifts further encourage it also, like the telescope and doctors play set.

Kinda reinstated a bit of faith I have in our future generations tbh.

Yes, her list to start with had up to 4 items on it, that is what she would usually ask for, just a few items.. She never asks for anything expensive..She is fascinated with science and wants to be a doctor...She never stops talking about the planets and how great it would be to see other planets ..She asked for a starter telescope.. they are not expensive, so I said if you are good, and your report cards are good, then you will get one... She is determined to learn more.. We get her kids science books to read that will help her on her way.. They don't teach science at her school, so we do what we can to encourage it at home.

When we told her she could add a few more items on there, she didn't believe us, because every other year she was told only a few items....But her dad said ,you worked your backside off, and done well..You helped your mom out when little Aaron came... You are eager to learn more.. this will be the only year you can add a few more on..Due to the fact we now have the little one Aaron..when we have more kids the presents shrink..She understands ... She still thinks we are tricking her by saying you can add a few more on.. I feel good she asked for things that encourages her further..and I don't feel bad for the list.. When we added up the total cost.. it was not that expensive...and it is worth it .It's once a year and I am not going to sweat it....

And she likes Elvis! Your daughter is awesome.

She has from she was 6 yrs old.. I never understood why? She just thinks he is the bee's knees ...I am not a fan myself though !

She got an Elvis Presley book last year.. When she opened it and saw the book, she let out a squeal with excitement..

Edited by Beckys_Mom
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She has from she was 6 yrs old.. I never understood why? She just thinks he is the bee's knees ...I am not a fan myself though !

She got an Elvis Presley book last year.. When she opened it and saw the book, she let out a squeal with excitement..

I was 10 when i started to listen to Elvis Songs and still do, and abba and pretty much every pre 90's bands

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I remember the 'rich' kids coming back to school bragging about what Santa brought them...I was a good girl, and Santa enver brought me what I asked for. Let me tell you, that really hurt and added a lot of confusion. Of course, my brother soon told me about Santa and although I was devestated, it explained why I never got what I asked for at Christmas. Maybe that is why the Polar Express is one of my favourite Christmas shows.

But, again, I make sure my daughter gets what she asks for at Christmas, just limited. I want her to have great memories.

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