Uphill climb

[markdohle]

Uphill climb

I have come to the conclusion that there are aspects of myself that will always be a tad wild and out of control. Over long years of hit and miss I have come to the realization that all I can do is love those little devils and stop fighting them. I just offer them to the Lord and they seem to quiet down a bit. I suppose we all have thorns in our side that keeps us seeking inner balance. Maybe they are needed. There are times when I panic, then I look to the Lord and say, well here I go again, glad I can offer this to you. Whatever is good comes from you, your gift to me, well, all I have to offer is my struggle, inner pain, and my unbelief and doubt....and to my surprise, always, you take them and heal me just a little more. Trust is getting easier, though still an uphill climb.

[Marcion Meets E. Sibyl]

Hi Mark,

You are fortunate that you have your Jesus to whom to offer "those little devils." My struggles, on the other hand, ground me and keep my humility in shape...and don't I know it! Romantic love has that effect as well, especially that I'm in love and things don't always go my way, regardless of my accomplishments and high self-esteem. "There is always something!" I always say to myself. Also, one would think that by being a meditation conduit, one is automatically exempt from the "whatever-ness" of life -- alas, no.

Peace.

[ainomieli]

Hi,

I also struggle with inner demons.

These demons can be very destructive forces in our lives.

I have learned that many of these so called demons can be actually named.

When I learnt my inner demons name, it made it easier for me to understant the pain and my actions behind this negative thought pattern = demon.

Although it sometimes feels frustrating that our society can not deal with negativety. It has become sort of un popular. And I thing it is well known what happens when individual tries to repress his/hers emotions. Those can become very destructive forses in our life if repressed.

But yes, those feelings wont go away untill we become aware of them.

My mind is very skeptical, yet all that I have left is Jesus. I have gome a long way from where He was like a childhood imaginery friend for me.

I dont know him anymore that well, but I am called to get to know him again

[Beany]

Mark, to be fair to you, I have to point out that you have much more to offer than pain, struggle & doubt. And that's only what I know of you from UM.

[markdohle]

Hi Mark,

You are fortunate that you have your Jesus to whom to offer "those little devils." My struggles, on the other hand, ground me and keep my humility in shape...and don't I know it! Romantic love has that effect as well, especially that I'm in love and things don't always go my way, regardless of my accomplishments and high self-esteem. "There is always something!" I always say to myself. Also, one would think that by being a meditation conduit, one is automatically exempt from the "whatever-ness" of life -- alas, no.

Peace.

LOL actually meditation may make you more sensitive to the struggle.....one thing after another so true.

peace

mark

Mark, to be fair to you, I have to point out that you have much more to offer than pain, struggle & doubt. And that's only what I know of you from UM.

I write about my struggles, there is more to me than that. In life I am more of a clown than serious my friend.

peace

mark

[Marcion Meets E. Sibyl]

LOL actually meditation may make you more sensitive to the struggle.....one thing after another so true.

peace

mark

Definitely, "meditation may make you more sensitive to the struggle." Beware of gurus who think they are above the murkiness of this world. A swami friend of mine said, "In no way, shape, or form should the teacher become a limitation for you. There is no teacher that is any more than a servant of God. You let them serve you so you become freer. Anyone who ever tells you they are God or they are more than God, is revealing his or her own paranoia. You don't have to pay attention to that."

Have a blessed day,

Paul