Hasina Posted December 3, 2012 #1 Share Posted December 3, 2012 Is It OK For the Girl to Propose? No Way, Study Suggests Despite loosening of gender roles at work and in society as a whole, men and women are remarkably traditional when it comes to marriage, new research finds. In fact, the study of college students at a liberal-leaning university found that not a single man or woman wanted a proposal in which the woman asked the man to marry her. And while 60 percent of women said they were "very willing" or "somewhat willing" to change their surname to their husband's upon marriage, 64 percent of men said they were "very unwilling" or "somewhat unwilling" to do the same for their wives. "These topics are something that most people deal with and that most people decide to do in a traditional way," said study researcher Rachael Robnett, a graduate student in psychology at the University of California, Santa Cruz. Source: http://www.livescien...e-marriage.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supervike Posted December 3, 2012 #2 Share Posted December 3, 2012 I guess I wouldn't have a problem if the woman proposed. But, I really don't think I'd ever take my wife's name.... Strange how that works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keel M. Posted December 3, 2012 #3 Share Posted December 3, 2012 I would definitely take my girlfriend's last name because then together our initials would be E & K G... or EKG. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kazoo Posted December 3, 2012 #4 Share Posted December 3, 2012 I can't see myself proposing or getting proposed too. I see me dating someone for a long time and us like eating pizza on the coach and one of us saying "we should get married" and other one saying "k. whatever" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ealdwita Posted December 3, 2012 #5 Share Posted December 3, 2012 "Will you marry me darling ?" (Representation of what I would hear as I head for the distant hills!) 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Wearer of Hats Posted December 3, 2012 #6 Share Posted December 3, 2012 I can't see why not, personally. Mind you, I asked a girl to marry me once and she said I deserved better then her, I'm unable to read interpersonal signals at the best of times (too ASD) so if the girl took the iniative like that it'd probably be much easier on us both! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insanity Posted December 3, 2012 #7 Share Posted December 3, 2012 In some jurisdictions, anyone who gets married or divorced may change their name is they wish. I was not permitted to take on the names of Gandalf or Thorin for some reason. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashotep Posted December 3, 2012 #8 Share Posted December 3, 2012 I don't see anything wrong with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CuriousGreek Posted December 3, 2012 #9 Share Posted December 3, 2012 (edited) A marriage proposal from the girl is not something bad, in my opinion. If my girlfriend asks me to keep her surname after our marriage, i'd had no problem letting her keep it, but i really don't know, if i would take her surname... Edited December 3, 2012 by CuriousGreek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orcseeker Posted December 4, 2012 #10 Share Posted December 4, 2012 I honestly believe it is the guys duty to ask a woman/girl all the facets of such things. It goes hand in hand with being able to protect and provide, as if the future wife gets pregnant, he can keep the family afloat while she is unable to work as an example. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WoIverine Posted December 4, 2012 #11 Share Posted December 4, 2012 was always more of a mutual thing with me, I guess. "Hey...what do you think about getting married?" Etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
little_dreamer Posted December 4, 2012 #12 Share Posted December 4, 2012 Easier to blame it on the man if something goes wrong. "It was your idea!" Women are supposedly the ones who are pushing and hinting for marriage all the time. it's the man who ususally has cold feet. So if he proposes, then he really means it, I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZaraKitty Posted December 4, 2012 #13 Share Posted December 4, 2012 I'd rather buy cats. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clarakore Posted December 4, 2012 #14 Share Posted December 4, 2012 It doesn't matter who asks since both parties still have to decide together ultimately. As for a male taking on a female's surname, well that is not what is really happening, he would be taking her father's surname in all actuality. If we had a true system where both males and females passed down their own surnames it might be different but as of now the guy would just be taking some other older dude's surname. I honestly believe it is the guys duty to ask a woman/girl all the facets of such things. It goes hand in hand with being able to protect and provide, as if the future wife gets pregnant, he can keep the family afloat while she is unable to work as an example. Females as primary breadwinners exist. Females who work while their partners are unable to exist. But I get your point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orcseeker Posted December 4, 2012 #15 Share Posted December 4, 2012 Females as primary breadwinners exist. Females who work while their partners are unable to exist. But I get your point. Oh yes I don't deny that, I hope I didn't come across as sexist or anything but women are the ones who get pregnant Some women enforce the man protecting them and providing for them notion, others take the helm. I personally wouldn't want a woman to propose to me or anything of the sort. Usually Id go with the mutual decision but generally if I know them Id know how they would want it so that's how I'd do it accordingly. I don't think it's any real big deal but whatever makes them happy for some little kneeling action is ok with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlyingAngel Posted December 5, 2012 #16 Share Posted December 5, 2012 (edited) Yeah, woman proposes... and a man better do the cooking, dishes and babysit as well Edited December 5, 2012 by FlyingAngel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WoIverine Posted December 5, 2012 #17 Share Posted December 5, 2012 Results from MSN said every guy wasn't a fan of the woman proposing deal. I tend to agree...a woman proposing to me would make me wonder what the hell is going on, and if there's something wrong with her, might even seem like she's uber clingy as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pallidin Posted December 5, 2012 #18 Share Posted December 5, 2012 Hmmm... I think the OP's question is a really good one. Never really thought about it before, I guess. "Tradition"(the male proposing) has a funny way of influencing society to be regarded as the "norm", though I see no reason for keeping it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aryannatimothy Posted December 6, 2012 #19 Share Posted December 6, 2012 If it is love then it is love. Love knows no boundaries and can even break tradition. I myself do not see any wrong if women propose to their loved one. I find it sweet and brave. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lightly Posted December 6, 2012 #20 Share Posted December 6, 2012 i think it's usually the 'girl's' idea. They just have a way of making it seem it was our idea! .. i think it's called entrapment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hasina Posted December 6, 2012 Author #21 Share Posted December 6, 2012 I'm going to propose right before someone proposes to me, just to ruin it for them. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taun Posted December 6, 2012 #22 Share Posted December 6, 2012 I'm going to propose right before someone proposes to me, just to ruin it for them. It just wouldn't work out Hasina... It would be a mixed marriage - you're from Texas and I'm from Oklahoma - just wouldn't work ... Sorry... (couldn't resist it!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hasina Posted December 6, 2012 Author #23 Share Posted December 6, 2012 It just wouldn't work out Hasina... It would be a mixed marriage - you're from Texas and I'm from Oklahoma - just wouldn't work ... Sorry... (couldn't resist it!) That or you're a tornado and I'm a hurricane. ;D 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Right Wing Posted December 6, 2012 #24 Share Posted December 6, 2012 Is It OK For the Girl to Propose? No Way, Study Suggests Despite loosening of gender roles at work and in society as a whole, men and women are remarkably traditional when it comes to marriage, new research finds. In fact, the study of college students at a liberal-leaning university found that not a single man or woman wanted a proposal in which the woman asked the man to marry her. And while 60 percent of women said they were "very willing" or "somewhat willing" to change their surname to their husband's upon marriage, 64 percent of men said they were "very unwilling" or "somewhat unwilling" to do the same for their wives. "These topics are something that most people deal with and that most people decide to do in a traditional way," said study researcher Rachael Robnett, a graduate student in psychology at the University of California, Santa Cruz. Source: http://www.livescien...e-marriage.html I like it on that odd occasion when a woman has the confidence to ask for a date. If I got a proposal off one it wouldnt mind either. But taking the womans surname is not happening lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clarakore Posted December 6, 2012 #25 Share Posted December 6, 2012 What if every couple got to decide on a new surname? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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