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DemosKratos

Love Poem

11 posts in this topic

It breaks my heart but I will never be able to show it to her. I poured my heart into it and was hoping I could get some feedback about it. The last part is ridiculously corny intentionally. Thanks guys.

Two eyes guided my head to the door

When into the room she appeared

My jaw collapsed to the floor

To where I sat, she neared

Between us a passion is shared

The essence of the written word

A single conversation, you had me snared

Is what I'm feeling so absurd?

I've walked down my path deaf, dumb and blind

Vaguely aware of the prison I'm in

You did so much to unshackle my mind

I can feel wings sprouting from within

I've crossed the Atlantic for the sixth time

Endless oaths I have swore

I've fought in war, covered in blood and grime

How have I never felt this before?

I shouldn't know you but I feel like I do

Your quality shines bright

Compassionate, intelligent and funny too

I'm surrounded by darkness, you are the light

I can't know how you feel or what you think

But I'd like to know

So would you like to get some cofee to drink?

Edited by DemosKratos
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Love does a crazy thing to a soul...

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It does indeed.

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Bloody brilliant~!

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Thank you :D

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great job with the rhyme !

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Thanks! I am starting to write a lot more for the sake of writing instead of just for college assignments. I don't know why I have specifically taken an interest in poetry but I was nervous submitting this, I actually thought maybe it was too much rhyming. I read my schools literature magazine that features a lot of poems from other students and a lot of them don't rhyme at all... I'm going off on a tangent I guess, I'll just stop here and say I have no idea what I'm doing.

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Love does a crazy thing to a soul...

Sometimes not positive...

In any case that's a story for another time.

Enjoyed the poem. Glad to see someone experiencing such strong feelings.

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Nicely done. You don't have to know much about poetry to write it. It's in there, just let it out.

"A true poet does not bother to be poetical. Nor does a nursery gardener scent his roses". ~Jean Cocteau

:yes:

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Thanks! I am starting to write a lot more for the sake of writing instead of just for college assignments. I don't know why I have specifically taken an interest in poetry but I was nervous submitting this, I actually thought maybe it was too much rhyming. I read my schools literature magazine that features a lot of poems from other students and a lot of them don't rhyme at all... I'm going off on a tangent I guess, I'll just stop here and say I have no idea what I'm doing.

i never had interest in poems that doesn't rhyme

in my opinion it's the rhyme that gives it this nice tune when you read it

so don't look at what others are doing or done , do what you like :D

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It's a good poem :)

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