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CelestialStar

How do i tell my parents i'm not christian

34 posts in this topic

Just as i stated in the title, i am not christian, my parents dont know, but my parents get visibly upset when i say something remotely against Christianity.

(they are super christian, to the point of refusing to let any of my siblings or me eat at all unless we pray)

So telling them flat out im an atheist would certainly pose as a problem. But, hipocrisy is getting irritating too.

If you attempt to convert me, i will pay you no mind.

is there a good way to do it that won't end in rage or argument. i get yelled at or punished for expressing not wanting to go to church as well so obviously there would be warfare (not literally)

any ideas?

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No good way to do it .

My uncle is devoutly catholic ,and I got yelled at all the time to put on a cross or a miraculous medal .

I just stopped mentioning anything religious in front of him .

My mom knew,and slowly grew to accept it .

Even now,I don't mention religion ifo him .

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Hard to say if there is a good way .. it all depends on how/what you expect your parents reaction to be. Best thing i can suggest is have them sit down and calmly tell them... that is what i did and it worked out fine. Just be respectful of their beliefs as you would want them to be respectful of yours.

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I didnt think there was, i just hoped,

well have a merry christmas

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I feel your pain, it's sad to have to be dishonest to keep the peace. Unfortunately, I think if you are still young enough to live under their roof you are somewhat obligated to abide by their rules (at least it seems that is how they see it).

Perhaps for the time being it would be easier to maintain a dignified silence, there is no harm in respecting tradition as they see it and it translates as respect to them (again, from their perspective).

Alternately if you are of a mind to stand your ground then do so directly. After the family meal would be better than before, people handle things better on a full stomach and as far as the cook goes, after their efforts in the kitchen have been appreciated.

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I wish I could give you a good answer but from the way you describe your parents it looks as though you may get a bad reaction and life may be more difficult than it is now. Sometimes it's easier to just tow the line.. one day you will be free to express yourself and it's sad that your parents have forced religion on you in this way. They probably want the best for you but have gone too heavily on you. Good luck and wishing you well.

Edited by Star of the Sea
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it is sad, but i wish that they would realize that morals can be learned without an entire religion being shoved them down my throat with it.

I hate it, no matter who it is, even my parents, i have to lie about myself in many ways,

I wonder, why do people disdain it when a person wants to act in accord with who they truly are.

why does it seem that some people try to kill individuality when it arises,

most people seem not to have realized yet that nobody is the same, and that everyone should be free to be themselves,

i wonder, is this the true corruption of most men, not accepting any other human that deviates from their rigid standard of "normal" and seeking to end it.

i wish that they could see the truth

Edited by CelestialStar
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it is sad, but i wish that they would realize that morals can be learned without an entire religion being shoved them down my throat with it.

They probably haven't a clue that they have actually turned you away from Christianity.. if only parents, who over kill on religion realised this.

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They probably haven't a clue that they have actually turned you away from Christianity.. if only parents, who over kill on religion realised this.

oh no no no, they didn't do it, i left on my own accord, but i want to tell them im not christian anymore, the problem is the rigid views, whenever i hint it, they get angry, so full out telling them is a problem, also who should i call if they were to beat me on these grounds (hypothetically)

Edited by CelestialStar

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How old are you?

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How old are you?

well one could deduce my general age from my description of the problem, and my replies, but i will not directly tell you

Edited by CelestialStar

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I feel your pain, it's sad to have to be dishonest to keep the peace. Unfortunately, I think if you are still young enough to live under their roof you are somewhat obligated to abide by their rules (at least it seems that is how they see it).

Perhaps for the time being it would be easier to maintain a dignified silence, there is no harm in respecting tradition as they see it and it translates as respect to them (again, from their perspective).

Alternately if you are of a mind to stand your ground then do so directly. After the family meal would be better than before, people handle things better on a full stomach and as far as the cook goes, after their efforts in the kitchen have been appreciated.

Ive been at "dignified silence" for 3 years, it is getting difficult without wanting to explode over it

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Our high Priestess has yet to tell her Catholic Mother, she is a Pagan. She is 40. I don't know how old you are or what type of Christianity they follow. I had a friend who's JW parents kicked her out as age 15 because she didn't want to follow their religion. Be careful you don't want to end up worse off than you are now. Childhood doesn't last forever and sometimes it is better just to play a long than to upset irrational parents. When you are ready to move out and live your own life you can tell them what they can do with their religion.

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oh no no no, they didn't do it, i left on my own accord, but i want to tell them im not christian anymore, the problem is the rigid views, whenever i hint it, they get angry, so full out telling them is a problem, also who should i call if they were to beat me on these grounds (hypothetically)

Okay it just comes across that your parents have force fed you religion and that appears to be the problem and why you are no longer Christian. :)

Edit to add: Your last question "also who should i call if they were to beat me on these grounds (hypothetically)"

Do you have a teacher whom you trust to speak to about this? Perhaps seek out someone whom you can turn to before you decide whether you are going to tell them you are no longer Christian.

Edited by Star of the Sea

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Our high Priestess has yet to tell her Catholic Mother, she is a Pagan. She is 40. I don't know how old you are or what type of Christianity they follow. I had a friend who's JW parents kicked her out as age 15 because she didn't want to follow their religion. Be careful you don't want to end up worse off than you are now. Childhood doesn't last forever and sometimes it is better just to play a long than to upset irrational parents. When you are ready to move out and live your own life you can tell them what they can do with their religion.

I had a friend who's JW parents kicked her out as age 15 because she didn't want to follow their religion.

. Childhood doesn't last forever and sometimes it is better just to play a long than to upset irrational parents. When you are ready to move out and live your own life you can tell them what they can do with their religion.

1.therein lies my worry, its amazing that religion can cause so much pain and tear apart families like that

2. i know it doesn't last forever, but putting up with it is painful too,

dont worry though:

they throw me out, i tell CNN, from cnn to the entire USA and more, a simple exchange.

Edited by CelestialStar

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stop stressing out. it's no biggie. just be good. that's all that matters.

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Okay it just comes across that your parents have force fed you religion and that appears to be the problem and why you are no longer Christian. :)

Edit to add: Your last question "also who should i call if they were to beat me on these grounds (hypothetically)"

Do you have a teacher whom you trust to speak to about this? Perhaps seek out someone whom you can turn to before you decide whether you are going to tell them you are no longer Christian.

i just needed to know in case i need it, i have a teacher i can talk to, but i need that # just in case (hopefully i wont)

Edited by CelestialStar
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1.therein lies my worry, its amazing that religion can cause so much pain and tear apart families like that

2. i know it doesn't last forever, but putting up with it is painful too,

dont worry though:

they throw me out, i tell CNN, from cnn to the entire USA and more, a simple exchange.

No offense, but I don't think CNN is going to care if you get kicked out of your house. People get kicked out every day for being atheist/different religion/gay/dating someone not of their race.

As to who you would tell if the beat you, I think the obvious answer is the police.

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No offense, but I don't think CNN is going to care if you get kicked out of your house. People get kicked out every day for being atheist/different religion/gay/dating someone not of their race.

As to who you would tell if the beat you, I think the obvious answer is the police.

1. a bit harsh but i get the message

2. no one ever tells it to CNN, they would probably do a report on it regarding whether or not a parent can legally do that

3. under that mentality, the police wouldnt care either

Edited by CelestialStar

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Sounds like to me you are about 13 or 14. So if they want you to go to church I don't see how your going to get out of it. If you are only about 13 I wouldn't tell them or get into a religious argument with them it won't do any good. Quit often people only hear what they want to anyway so hinting won't do any good probably. I would just hang in there until I was old enough to leave.

When I was at home I was forced to go to church but there were times I could get out of it. I was forced to dress like a moron and taught views no girl should have pushed off on them. Little do parents realize when that kid grows up and leaves home they will probably get in more trouble than someone that hasn't had church pushed down their throat. Hopefully you won't make that mistake.

I've seen this happen. I never make my son go to church and never did but my neighbor was so strict and religious both her sons were getting into trouble. One of them wanted to come live with me he was so unhappy. She wouldn't even let them read comic books, they did at my house, because she said they were of the devil and this came from a woman that use to party a lot.

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The police would care because it is neglect not to care for your underage child.

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Sounds like to me you are about 13 or 14. So if they want you to go to church I don't see how your going to get out of it. If you are only about 13 I wouldn't tell them or get into a religious argument with them it won't do any good. Quit often people only hear what they want to anyway so hinting won't do any good probably. I would just hang in there until I was old enough to leave.

When I was at home I was forced to go to church but there were times I could get out of it. I was forced to dress like a moron and taught views no girl should have pushed off on them. Little do parents realize when that kid grows up and leaves home they will probably get in more trouble than someone that hasn't had church pushed down their throat. Hopefully you won't make that mistake.

I've seen this happen. I never make my son go to church and never did but my neighbor was so strict and religious both her sons were getting into trouble. One of them wanted to come live with me he was so unhappy. She wouldn't even let them read comic books, they did at my house, because she said they were of the devil and this came from a woman that use to party a lot.

i must say, im a bit unhappy with the suggestion, but know that you are right

p.s. i have no intention of getting into trouble or anything, there is no need :)

Edited by CelestialStar

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Unless it is of utmost importance to you that they know, why trouble them with it?

You get to choose what you believe or don't, and their approval or disapproval won't change it.

Now, on the otherhand, you feel compelled to get it off your chest, just be honest and straight forward with it.

I've never told my mother that I am a non-believer. I don't really have any plans of telling her. She knows I am not religious, but not she doesn't know to what extent.

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I didnt think there was, i just hoped,

well have a merry christmas

I think you just have to say it how it is...the sooner the better...this is the best way,

hopefully they being Christian and your parents will love you just as much and respect you for being who you are not who they want you to be....I think that's the biggest issue to any relationship your always going to be let down because people generally are not who you want them to be.

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you dont. you practice what you believe. Thats why we have freedom of religion.

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