Communications between different paths

[markdohle]

It is always a struggle to communicate ideas. For instance, when someone tries to express their faith, lack of, or some other way of looking at the world that I find 'strange…. And by that I mean a way of life that I have not studied, pondered or actually really talked to someone about.

There are times when I am at peace with the difficulty in communication. At other times, It makes me want to pull what little hair I have left on the top of my head. Ideas about others are often based at least on some level, on stereotypes. They are needed, but they are also blocks to deeper understanding of how others look at the world.

For instance; in Christianity, there are, like in any group, different ways of looking at the faith, at scripture, tradition and yes, in the end God. For most people as they age, this deepens and for many if not all, it also broadens. That does not mean it waters down faith, it is just seen from a point further up the road.

For instance, some seem to think that all Christians believe that just about everyone goes to hell, non Christians all go there and only a few are saved. Well I was never taught that, and even if I was I would not believe it. Not sure that salvation is about that, it is more about God grace reaching down to us, to lift us up. Jesus became man to save the world, so God is not the problem, it is us I believe. So that is why I am not a Calvinist for example....though I believe they are brothers and sisters in Christ. In other words, when I use a word like "hell" it pushes a lot of buttons, that have nothing to do with what I and many believe about hell. For instance it is not a prison; it is a state of being self created, outside of grace, freely chosen. So hell is not some place to escape from, but what one is. I know many can't see this and that is fine, it is the lumping that perhaps causes so much difficulty in communicating. Bottom line, I know very little, I just try to take one step at a time, and to slowly learn to understand beliefs that I find repugnant, but that does not make them false. It happens because of my own perceptions. I believe that religion calls us to ponder what is taught, the good and the so called bad and stick with it. For me to walk away would not allow me to seek deeper understanding. Sprituralty flows from this seeking deeper insight.

I am sure that most of us experience frustration, no matter what our belief, from this difficulty. No one wants to be reduced to a stereotype, but I guess most of us do it at least to some degree. There is some truth to stereotypical thinking but it has severe limitations.

This does not lead me to take the position that I want to give up trying to communicate, as it does not for most who write and post here most likely. Perhaps the good thing about this is that it allows, or forces those of us who do write, to try to respond the best way we can to questions and also interpretations that really are not what was meant, and be at peace about it if there is no success.

Is this an issue others here deal with? I think it is just a human problem, one that is not all bad, if the different parties try to listen and understand each other....if not....well we all know what that is like. I just tend to withdraw when that happens; it gets old and actually boring.

Peace

Mark

Edited January 7, 2013 by markdohle

[A Shadow]

Positive/negative, some of us take a middle road more or less. While some take a straight left or right. It is what it is and you can't mix wolves and sheep most of the time.

[Jinxdom]

Yeah communication is quite a pita. It takes a lot of work to get people to agree to even the most simplest of things. Like the meaning of a simple word.

[Beany]

I remember reading something about Billy Strayhorn, a jazz composer & musician who wrote Take the A Train, and Duke Ellington, who collaborated with Strayhorn for years. Mercery Ellington, Duke's son, said he was in his father's office, talking, when Strayhorn came in wanting to talk with Duke about a piece of music. Mercer said Strayhorn sat down opposite Duke, and the two men looked at each for about 10 minutes, neither saying a word. Then Strayhorn stood up to leave, saying something like, Well, I guess it's all worked out then, and left. Now that's the way to communicate.

[Helen of Annoy]

When we try to listen and understand each other, the common ground is promptly found, the similarities get discovered and soon outnumber the differences.

No one is perfect, so everyone has moments of communication dumbness, that’s not a problem, it goes away.

The problem is when there’s no desire to communicate with others, only to others, constantly.

Such condition gets worse with time, because the less you listen to others, less understanding is achieved, frustration builds up, you shout louder, listen even less than before and the circle is closed. Plus you’ve frustrated the listeners too, and they can’t help but to start questioning your intelligence after you failed to understand them in umpteenth attempt. Understand only, not accept or approve, just understand. (Though this is wrong, many non-listeners are intelligent only unwise.)

People who can’t communicate will be the death of me No kidding, I work with people in real life and one person with communication issues drains more energy than everyone else I talked to that day combined.

Some people not only don’t listen, they also frantically talk, literally afraid they might accidentally hear what you said and what they will do then? Then they’d have to consider your words and that’s not what they want.

I’ve noticed the core problem is that they usually have decided what the answers are before they give you a chance to answer their questions and instead of hearing what you just said, they assigned the meaning they expect to your words, whatever your words were.

Sometimes it’s the fear of being unable to handle what you’re about to hear, sometimes pure egocentrism, sometimes lack of wisdom (not the same as the intelligence), sometimes everything combined.

And sometimes I complain too much as you can see

But it’s healthy to complain, they say.

[AsteroidX]

Maybe Ill meditate on this. Maybe not.

[J. K.]

When we try to listen and understand each other, the common ground is promptly found, the similarities get discovered and soon outnumber the differences.

And yet sometimes the differences can have quite an effect. Myself and another member of my band are at odds on the song Stand by Me. I grew up with the Ben King version; he grew up with the John Lennon version. Our status quos on the song are very different.

Finding that common ground can be difficult at times, especially if you don't realize why the difference is there.

[Helen of Annoy]

And yet sometimes the differences can have quite an effect. Myself and another member of my band are at odds on the song Stand by Me. I grew up with the Ben King version; he grew up with the John Lennon version. Our status quos on the song are very different.

Finding that common ground can be difficult at times, especially if you don't realize why the difference is there.

Oh, my... it’s easier to settle politics than art!

But your common ground is already there, it’s the song itself.

The different ways each of you feel it will eventually create the whole new version, of course. You’re not trying to replicate a version, you’re making your own.

Like a baby, it will have something from each of you melted into whole new, unique being. You wouldn't be the first to divorce because of the way baby looks like, but I hope you'll work it out.

Edited January 11, 2013 by Helen of Annoy