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RockabyeBillie

Personal Opinion: Daughter's Hair

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I said when (if) I have a daughter, I'm going to keep her hair short until she is old enough to take care of it herself - maybe 6 or 7 years old. If she wants to grow it out, it's her choice and her responsibility. If she wants to keep it short, that's fine too. Her choice.

I have my reasons for this. As a child, I was never allowed to cut my hair and it grew down past my butt. Genetically, we have really thick hair, and I mean THICK. When in a ponytail, it poofed out like a witch's broom. I couldn't manage it.

It used to take half an hour to wash, an hour to brush (and it was so painful, I hated it, used to make me cry) and another hour to blow dry. And at school, it would get wrapped around the screws in the seat of my desk and get yanked out in chunks.

I was miserable, but I was still not allowed to cut it until I turned 18. Even if I could have cut it shoulder length, that would have been acceptable to me. But nope.

Tried explaining this to my sister but she thinks I'm terrible for it. I tried telling her how miserable I was with long hair and I will give my daughter the CHOICE once she is old enough to make that decision for herself, but she says it's weird for a little girl to have short hair. I argued that a girl doesn't have to have long hair just because she is a girl.

Anyway... I disagree with her. I think allowing my child to make that decision on her own will be good for her overall.

So what do you guys think?

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I had the exact opposite problem. I had my hair always cut to shoulder length till about the age of 3, then I had it cropped very short and cut often as my European parents believed that the more often you cut it the thicker and healthier it would grow as I grew older. I hated the short hair and fought them over it for years, finally was allowed a bob hair cut by about the age of nine which was a relief and then started to grow it long in my teens (finally). I think kids always see the grass greener on the other side. I hated knots in my hair even as a teen and if I was honest in hindsight I probably would have hated looking after long hair every day but I felt resentful for their choice and reasons for a lot of years.

Strangely (and I do believe their belief was an old wives tale most of the time) I have fine hair but alot of it, it looks quite thick and hairdressers are surprised at how fine the strands are by comparison, hmmm.

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Having been father to no less than five daughters, I'm of the opinion that the 'middle way' is the answer. All of my lot wore their hair just below shoulder-length until they were old enough to make their own choices. (That was a good few years before they became 18 though!)

IMO A lot depends on the type of hair a girl has. Had your hair not been so thick, Billie,would you have been more comfortable wearing it long? My third daughter has very fine hair, and apart from having the ends trimmed, there hasn't been a pair scissors near it since she was 12.

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Having been father to no less than five daughters, I'm of the opinion that the 'middle way' is the answer. All of my lot wore their hair just below shoulder-length until they were old enough to make their own choices. (That was a good few years before they became 18 though!)

IMO A lot depends on the type of hair a girl has. Had your hair not been so thick, Billie,would you have been more comfortable wearing it long? My third daughter has very fine hair, and apart from having the ends trimmed, there hasn't been a pair scissors near it since she was 12.

That's how I feel! I'm fine with shoulder length, that's fine as long as I'm the one brushing, washing, and drying it. After that, she can do what she wants with it.

Even if it weren't so thick it still would have gotten wrapped around the desk screws. I used to sit on it, too.

Women in my family keep their daughters hair really really long for some reason. I don't understand it.

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My sister and I were complete opposites .. I have always had long thick dark hair, and she would have long blonde thin flyaway hair..

Many people used to pay me compliments and some relatives saying to my dad in front of my sister ( without thinking ) how lovely my long dark shiny hair was... My younger sister used to get mad and cry.. She was daddy's girl.. My dad at times would shortly after that cut my hair off, laving my mom to take me to get it straightened out at the hair dressers.. My mother would hit the roof, accusing him doing it out of jealousy ... In my mid teens on wards, I kept it long again and always got it cut when needed, In fact I have everything done with my hair, permed many times, colored, was blonde once, low lights and in the 90's it was high lights.. I was always trying something !!

I told myself, that if I ever have a little girl, I will not do that to her.. I will allow her hair to grow long, but not too long.. And so I did...I take her to get it cut up to a little past her shoulders and it is easy managed .. I like long hair but not really long, to where you need to lift it to sit down and it takes ages to wash and dry... Becky's hair is full of curls, but a nightmare to keep tangle free, so I blow dry it straight for her, it is easier to manage

My advice is to just let your sister do as she wants, you don't want to get into any falling out over it..

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My sister and I were complete opposites .. I have always had long thick dark hair, and she would have long blonde thin flyaway hair..

Many people used to pay me compliments and some relatives saying to my dad in front of my sister ( without thinking ) how lovely my long dark shiny hair was... My younger sister used to get mad and cry.. She was daddy's girl.. My dad at times would shortly after that cut my hair off, laving my mom to take me to get it straightened out at the hair dressers.. My mother would hit the roof, accusing him doing it out of jealousy ... In my mid teens on wards, I kept it long again and always got it cut when needed, In fact I have everything done with my hair, permed many times, colored, was blonde once, low lights and in the 90's it was high lights.. I was always trying something !!

I told myself, that if I ever have a little girl, I will not do that to her.. I will allow her hair to grow long, but not too long.. And so I did...I take her to get it cut up to a little past her shoulders and it is easy managed .. I like long hair but not really long, to where you need to lift it to sit down and it takes ages to wash and dry... Becky's hair is full of curls, but a nightmare to keep tangle free, so I blow dry it straight for her, it is easier to manage

My advice is to just let your sister do as she wants, you don't want to get into any falling out over it..

I'm not stopping my sister from doing what she wants. She's trying to stop me from keeping my child's hair short.

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I'm not stopping my sister from doing what she wants. She's trying to stop me from keeping my child's hair short.

This is something I don't get. Why do people think they have right to dictate how their siblings dress or groom their child? Sure if you were neglecting your daughter, I would expect your sister to say or do something. But to start an argument because YOU choose to keep YOUR daughter's hair shorter than your sister would like? I would tell her to button it. Your house, your rules.

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I'm not stopping my sister from doing what she wants. She's trying to stop me from keeping my child's hair short.

Sorry for the mix up.. Well then she shouldn't.. It's your child, your call...If you feel keeping it cut until she is able to look after it herself, then you are right. .It's your call, no one elses

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Sorry for the mix up.. Well then she shouldn't.. It's your child, your call...If you feel keeping it cut until she is able to look after it herself, then you are right. .It's your call, no one elses

Thank you, that's what I say too! It's not like I'm never going to let her grow it how she wants. She might end up with my personality and prefer it short anyway.

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Thank you, that's what I say too! It's not like I'm never going to let her grow it how she wants. She might end up with my personality and prefer it short anyway.

I hope she does wind up taking after you..

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I hope she does wind up taking after you..

Haha, why do you say that? :)

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Haha, why do you say that? :)

Because you are a nice person and I like reading what you have to say.. You seem smart and fun...I am stating the obvious lol What's not to like about you? So yes, it would be great for your girl to take after you..

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Because you are a nice person and I like reading what you have to say.. You seem smart and fun...I am stating the obvious lol What's not to like about you? So yes, it would be great for your girl to take after you..

Well, lol. Thanks! :)

I'm not always nice though I get kind of impatient and she might be like that, too lol

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Well, lol. Thanks! :)

I'm not always nice though I get kind of impatient and she might be like that, too lol

My daughter is the same.. But we over look those little things

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Might I add: When I told my boyfriend that if I had a daughter, I wanted to keep her hair short until she could take care of it herself, he thought it was an excellent idea.

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I believe the solution is a sweet mullet.

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I believe the solution is a sweet mullet.

a mullet mohawk combo!

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I believe the solution is a sweet mullet.

I'd prefer a sweet n' sour haddock, if you don't mind! s9799.gif

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I agree with everyone who has said, if you are the one caring for it, why not make it easy?

Same happens with dressing little ones.

I dressed my kids in easy to remove clothing when they were little. And then whenever they were able to tackle closures and get to the bathroom okay, they certainly had a say in what they wore, if they cared.

Yeah for sweats and onesies!!!!

When little, my mom used to keep my hair cut off and give me a permanent (pixie style, I think it was called). I HATED those perms. The old nasty smelly kitchen sink home perms...uuuugh!

Once I was allowed to let it grow I had hair like yours too, Rockabye. Always long and thick. My mom always hated it long. I think I grew it just to get back at her for the nasty perms. :devil:

Now that I'm older I rebel again with long white/gray hair, just because people say I shouldn't have long hair, especially not long white/gray hair at my age. :devil:

My mom still tells me to get my hair cut!

When I look at the new thread with the horses with the 19-foot manes I feel sorry for them! Sooo heavy on their necks, messy, dirty, impractical...

Edited by QuiteContrary
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It is sad how, in some families, hair is such an issue.

I would find it almost insane to force a child to wear long hair and never let them cut it until they are eighteen.

Long hair can be a real pain in the petunia for some.

If the child (regardless of gender) likes it short then so be it...if long (within reason) then so be it.

But sadly some people have thick hair so having it long can be a problem but if it is too long then you can break your neck getting tripped up in it.

Imagine..death by hair! How gruesome.

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It is sad how, in some families, hair is such an issue.

I would find it almost insane to force a child to wear long hair and never let them cut it until they are eighteen.

Long hair can be a real pain in the petunia for some.

If the child (regardless of gender) likes it short then so be it...if long (within reason) then so be it.

But sadly some people have thick hair so having it long can be a problem but if it is too long then you can break your neck getting tripped up in it.

Imagine..death by hair! How gruesome.

Yeah, like I said, mine got so long that I would sit on it when I sat down. Pain in the butt! When I got it cut my mom kept it...

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I've almost always had long hair, but I had two sisters that treated me like their own personal doll...dressing me and fixing my hair. It's so thick and curly it's easier to braid it without having to worry about drying and styling it. When I want a dramatic look I can still wear it down, but it is a pain in the buttocks. lol

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This is just my take on things personally, but I think the OP is going about this in a way that will make the best out of a not so great situation. IMO, save your daughter a lot of pain and hassle, and when you feel she's ready, give her the space to grow by making her choices on the matter like she would with anyone else. As a kid I was always very independent and I've made almost all my own decisions for as long as I can remember, save when I lived with my 'father' for about a year, we often had a lot of people coming in and out of the house for important reasons, and I was expected to be a 'lady', which meant my father required I have hair past my shoulders and usually braided. This might be a bit different, but I started wearing brown color-adjusting contacts at a fairly young age, because whether it be my genes or whatever, my natural eye color used to draw a lot of attention and I didn't like it. My contacts are cheap, easy, and if they save me trouble why not. You don't have to have long hair to be a girl, and I think functionality should come before looks/societal misconceptions here. Just my opinion.

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I said when (if) I have a daughter, I'm going to keep her hair short until she is old enough to take care of it herself - maybe 6 or 7 years old. If she wants to grow it out, it's her choice and her responsibility. If she wants to keep it short, that's fine too. Her choice.

I have my reasons for this. As a child, I was never allowed to cut my hair and it grew down past my butt. Genetically, we have really thick hair, and I mean THICK. When in a ponytail, it poofed out like a witch's broom. I couldn't manage it.

It used to take half an hour to wash, an hour to brush (and it was so painful, I hated it, used to make me cry) and another hour to blow dry. And at school, it would get wrapped around the screws in the seat of my desk and get yanked out in chunks.

I was miserable, but I was still not allowed to cut it until I turned 18. Even if I could have cut it shoulder length, that would have been acceptable to me. But nope.

Tried explaining this to my sister but she thinks I'm terrible for it. I tried telling her how miserable I was with long hair and I will give my daughter the CHOICE once she is old enough to make that decision for herself, but she says it's weird for a little girl to have short hair. I argued that a girl doesn't have to have long hair just because she is a girl.

Anyway... I disagree with her. I think allowing my child to make that decision on her own will be good for her overall.

So what do you guys think?

Sounds like you know what you want to do.. there are cute cuts for girls.. you dont have to listen to your sister. You can even keep her hair just a little past her shoulders. That way it'll still be longer than short, still considered long by some's standards and be easier to manage. I bet if you keep it real short, she'll want it long when she's older lol..you will be the mother.. Your choice!

I took a class on foster care once and these are the things your not aloud to do as a foster parent (as apposed to a natural parent): spank or hit, try to change the childs religion, or cut the childs hair (besides trims) into a different style without permission. Says a lot about the importance of your right as a mother to choose.

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It is sad how, in some families, hair is such an issue.

I would find it almost insane to force a child to wear long hair and never let them cut it until they are eighteen.

Long hair can be a real pain in the petunia for some.

If the child (regardless of gender) likes it short then so be it...if long (within reason) then so be it.

But sadly some people have thick hair so having it long can be a problem but if it is too long then you can break your neck getting tripped up in it.

Imagine..death by hair! How gruesome.

My long hair got wrapped into a paper folding machine once and I thought it was going to get ripped of my scalp. Luckily I thought fast and flipped the switch on the machine. I had to pull it out of the rollers. It literally sucked my hair up so fast my head whipped right up to the machine. It was very scary. Yes hair can be dangerous!

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