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archer95446

My schizophrenic friend

17 posts in this topic

I have known this friend since high school. Back then, her schizophrenia hadn't taken a toll on her yet (she wasn't seeing or hearing thinkgs that weren't there). It wasn't till after her parents moved her out to the desert, where she didn't know anyone, that she started to see and hear "angels" telling her that she was evil and she should kill herself, ect.

I kept in touch with her over the years, I wasn't going to abandon her, just because she moved away. Well, her mental illness progressed over the years and she turned to drugs and alcohol. Things got really bad, her daughter talked her mother's aunt, into moving her out to where she lives (several states away), to get her away from the wicked jerks who were taking advantage of her in every possible way.

She is in a much better location, even met a guy that has the same mental health issues like she does (schizophrenia and bi-polar). He moved her into his house. He is a nice guy and he really loves her and cares about her. He'll do whatever she wants!!!!

They r both rampant alcoholics, they drink a gallon of cheap vodka on a daily basis, on top of their psych meds (seroquell). My friend doesn't

get disability checks, her parents (both r deceased), left a trust fund for her. Another aunt of hers was put in charge of my friends finances and to "watch over her" (that never happened!!!) Her aunt sends her what ever amount she asks for, on top of the monthly $400.00 she sends, for her rent and other bills. her aunt knows that she has a severe problem with booze, but she doesn't care. She says she "doesn't want "to deal" with her at all, so the quicker the money goes, the faster, she'll be rid of her"

Her health problems have multiplied rapidly from mixing her psych drugs and other perscription meds with vodka. She told her mental health provider that she quit drinking (a lie), because she's worried that if she told the truth about her drinking, she would be cut off of her meds. She won't go to the medical clinic for any of her health problems, always says she will, though. She refuses to go AA and rehab!!!!! Her and her boyfriend start drinking as soon as they get up (4am daily), until they pass out, then get up and do it all over again. When they run out of vodka and money, then they start begging his 81 yr. old mother for the cash. They both have jealousy issues, so they're never out of each other's sight. They buy just a minimal

about of food, so to make sure they won't go without their booze. They have a car, he has a drivers license, he has multiple dwi's on his record, but he still drives when he's drunk (to the store, which is an hour away), to get more vodka. A couple weeks ago, they even ventured out in the snow, to get more and they were both drunk. Their car has a cracked windshield, the money she got from her aunt, to repair it, went on vodka.

I'm worried that they are going to end up hurting or killing themselves or someone else, while they're out, driving while drunk!!! They do this daily!!! Her daughter has tried numerous times to have her admitted into a mental health facility, but, they always say that since President Reagan, unregulated the mental health system, that they'll only admit her if she is unable to feed herself and unable to use the toilet by herself.

Her daughter and I are stuck in between a rock and a hard place, with trying to get help for her mother.

My friend is killing herself with all of that vodka (mixed with those meds), that she consumes daily and I don't know what to do to help her. I won't stop talking to her because I am her only friend, I care about her and I won't abandon her!!! I am hoping someone here might know of something that could help her!!!! I am sorry that this is such a long post!!!

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She's lucky to have a friend like you..

But at the end of the day, I think she is the only one who can help herself and she needs to realise this.. Not sure the best approach, being tough on her might not work, being to soft might not work either.. I think you'd know the best way.. Either way, She needs to help herself out of this and realise the damage she's doing to herself and the people who love her.. Any other intervention imo wont work long term.

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probably need to be separated from her boyfriend, not that i could think of a way of doing this with out hurting either. time heals all wounds but some take longer to heal than others. id say get convince her to start a hobby so her live doesnt completly revolve around drink. hope that the hobbie can gain more importance than the drink over time. she must have some fond non drinking memorys with you, take her to those places, let those feelings grow.

the problem with getting caught in a routine is that you think your personality is limited to that, new experiences help shake off old shackles. dnt carry her weight on your shoulders remember that its her weight to shift, you as a friend can only help her decide to quit or distract her from her sorrow.

Edited by Armchair Educated
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I know that prayer works immensly in situations like these. It is true that we have power in the astral realms, its just that it is a tough road to follow, we can carry those we love into healing but it takes time and consistency. If we are full of love for them as it seems that you are in some way shape or form it is reflecting into thier lives. I would be adament about praying for her and her household, even going into fasting. Pschitzo's already have a high frequency for the spiritual so this may be affective in ways that you would be amazed, but unfortunately the high intensity of thier spirituality can go both ways.. they can be ostricized and in your friends case addicted to both drugs (alcohol) and a spiritual tie to a man that also needs the same healing. Im glad you did not give up on her. You might want to really put the pressure on about quitting drinking.. but of course this can exhaust you especially when you have your own life to live. Another suggestion I have is to be a mentor to her child. We know that behavior patterns are cyclicle and if anything else you can help the child as she grows into an adult by giving her someone to talk to and seek advise from as well as perhaps a place to stay if need be...

Blessings for you and all the people you love!

Peace

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As much as you'd like to help them, I doubt you can.. There is a thing with addicts and alcoholics.. You can tell them what they're doing wrong and how much they're ruining themselves; You could throw the truth in their face and they might even take it in. Even so.. if they don't want to stop they won't.. it would take a huge intervention to knock them back into focus. Hopefully they will get some sense and wake up one day, see that life is beautiful.

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It seems, possibly rather obviously, that her main problem is the large amount of alcohol she drinks (rather than the medical condition). And it is twofold. Not only is the alcohol dangerous for all the obvious reasons, it actually negates the effect of anti-psychotics. The meds are released slowly throughout the day through the liver, but, when you drink a lot of alcohol while on them, they are washed through the system quickly without having a chance to perform their duty.

If she simply stops drinking then she could go on to live a relatively normal life (going by the small amount of information we have). Unfortunately though, alcoholism is probably THE hardest psychological battle any human can undertake. This, coming from a man who's mother practically killed herself though drink.

In reality, and I'm sure this is not what you want to hear, there is very little, if anything, you can do to help her. She is the only person who has that ability.

Sorry man.

Edited by ExpandMyMind

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I have known this friend since high school. Back then, her schizophrenia hadn't taken a toll on her yet (she wasn't seeing or hearing thinkgs that weren't there). It wasn't till after her parents moved her out to the desert, where she didn't know anyone, that she started to see and hear "angels" telling her that she was evil and she should kill herself, ect.

I kept in touch with her over the years, I wasn't going to abandon her, just because she moved away. Well, her mental illness progressed over the years and she turned to drugs and alcohol. Things got really bad, her daughter talked her mother's aunt, into moving her out to where she lives (several states away), to get her away from the wicked jerks who were taking advantage of her in every possible way.

She is in a much better location, even met a guy that has the same mental health issues like she does (schizophrenia and bi-polar). He moved her into his house. He is a nice guy and he really loves her and cares about her. He'll do whatever she wants!!!!

They r both rampant alcoholics, they drink a gallon of cheap vodka on a daily basis, on top of their psych meds (seroquell). My friend doesn't

get disability checks, her parents (both r deceased), left a trust fund for her. Another aunt of hers was put in charge of my friends finances and to "watch over her" (that never happened!!!) Her aunt sends her what ever amount she asks for, on top of the monthly $400.00 she sends, for her rent and other bills. her aunt knows that she has a severe problem with booze, but she doesn't care. She says she "doesn't want "to deal" with her at all, so the quicker the money goes, the faster, she'll be rid of her"

Her health problems have multiplied rapidly from mixing her psych drugs and other perscription meds with vodka. She told her mental health provider that she quit drinking (a lie), because she's worried that if she told the truth about her drinking, she would be cut off of her meds. She won't go to the medical clinic for any of her health problems, always says she will, though. She refuses to go AA and rehab!!!!! Her and her boyfriend start drinking as soon as they get up (4am daily), until they pass out, then get up and do it all over again. When they run out of vodka and money, then they start begging his 81 yr. old mother for the cash. They both have jealousy issues, so they're never out of each other's sight. They buy just a minimal

about of food, so to make sure they won't go without their booze. They have a car, he has a drivers license, he has multiple dwi's on his record, but he still drives when he's drunk (to the store, which is an hour away), to get more vodka. A couple weeks ago, they even ventured out in the snow, to get more and they were both drunk. Their car has a cracked windshield, the money she got from her aunt, to repair it, went on vodka.

I'm worried that they are going to end up hurting or killing themselves or someone else, while they're out, driving while drunk!!! They do this daily!!! Her daughter has tried numerous times to have her admitted into a mental health facility, but, they always say that since President Reagan, unregulated the mental health system, that they'll only admit her if she is unable to feed herself and unable to use the toilet by herself.

Her daughter and I are stuck in between a rock and a hard place, with trying to get help for her mother.

My friend is killing herself with all of that vodka (mixed with those meds), that she consumes daily and I don't know what to do to help her. I won't stop talking to her because I am her only friend, I care about her and I won't abandon her!!! I am hoping someone here might know of something that could help her!!!! I am sorry that this is such a long post!!!

Unless she is asking for help, she most likely will not listen. You might be able to influence her to go to a therapist, you could make the appointment and take her. Ask her to go once. If you could try and get 2 family members to say that she is a danger to herself and others you maybe able to get her put on a 72 hour hold at a mental facility, Chances are though they will not hold her beyond that, or you get try and get her to check in voluntarily. Chances are none of these ideas will work.

This may be hard for you to hear, but unless she is suicidal ( and then certainly you would put yourself out.) You have to let her be, make her own mistakes. It is not your responsiblity, you cannot fix her only she can.

It is too bad she doesn't have your sense of responsibility, your abiltiy to care, your ability to focus, your drive, but maybe one day your example will influence her when she is ready to do the work she will have to do to get better.

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Thank you all for your logical input!!!! None of her family members, including her daughter (whom is married and has 3 very small children), understand

how hard it is for a "hard core" alcoholic, to stop drinking!!!! They think if she cared at all, then she just wouldn't pick up the bottle anymore, they just don't

understand how hard it is to put the booze down and walk away from it!!!! I really think that she needs medical help, in order to stop drinking. She starts going

through the DT's, just hours after they run out of vodka. I realise that there isn't much I can do about this situation, except , just be there for her.

Most of her family and myself, are on the west coast, she lives in the mid-west, so there's not much I can do. :(

She calls me several times a day, everyday!!! I've tried being hard on her, but then she just started lying to me. She knows what she needs to do,

but, she isn't ready to stop, she said, in fact, that she likes to drink booze.

Going through this with her, has helped me realise (in my mother's case), that, it wouldn't have mattered how hard I could've been on her, she wasn't

going to stop drinking either (she passed in 1992)..

It's hard, going through this again, now, with my friend, but, I have to, for her sake.

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I have a similar problem. I do not drink or do drugs but I have only one friend. I do see a mental health provider and I am attend a group session. They seem more worry about how I am cope with my situation not really trying to cure it. I take meds for it.

I will get to the point. This is difficult to write for me. Maybe you could back off on the alcoholism for a while. If she is reach out to you, that maybe more important. Just listen to her. Help her out of her isolation.

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There is nothing you can do. All you can do us be there when it all falls apart if you care enough. These situations require unjugmental love. I have Somone like this in my life right now aswell. Good luck, you should anonymously turn them in everytime you know they are driving. No sense in ruining Somone else's life.

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Hi, I'm back with an update and a question.

My friend stopped taking all of her meds four months ago. She became very abusive towards her boyfriend, when he refused to go out and look meth and other illegal street drugs for her. He was getting tired of begging for money from his relatives, which she demanded he do, in order to get more booze, the minute they were out. She was in constant contact with her old party pal she had back in California, over the last 4 years. Together, they devised a plan that would get her back out there, so they could "party" again. For a few weeks, she would get up in the wee hours of the morning, while her boyfriend was still asleep, to scout the neighborhood for her drug of choice (meth). her boyfriend caught her many times, coming out of different (known drug) houses, throughout the area (with more and more bruises on her body). her and her boyfriend, one day, were returning home, from the store, then she hung herself halfway out of the car window, and started yelling rape. After they got home, she attacked him with a rake (hit him in the head), he had to wrestle it away from her. Then when he was in the bathroom, she called the police and told them her boyfriend just beat her up for no reason. (they both were drunk) The cops came, and she said he did it all (the bruises), he didn't mention what she did to him, because he didn't want her to get arrested. She yelled at the cops to take him away for beating her up, and they did. She called her aunt, told her that her boyfriend beat her up from head to toe and raped her (she never said that to the police). As she waited for her aunt to get her, she decided to take with her, his wallet, the house and car keys, and 2 bottles of his meds (which she later sold, to get her drugs in California). Her aunt "bought" the story and made arrangements with another relative, to get her back to CA, and find her a place to live. It just keeps getting worse!!! She's been back for a little over a month and she's been trading sex for drugs, cigarettes, booze, prescription pain meds, with a lot of different guys. The apt.. her aunt got her, is destroyed. She ripped off a drug dealer for a huge amount of meth. Well, that drug dealer knew where she lived and came and kicked the door open and was beating the heck out of her, but took off when he heard the sirens outside. The guy she gets her pills from (he's in his early 70's), took pity on her, and had her come to his place for a few days, for her safety. He sedated her, went through her purse, found a large assortment of illegal drugs, took out the meth, and gave it back to the drug dealer (a quarter of it was missing), hoping that this guy won't kill her, when he has a chance. found her daughter's and her aunt's phone numbers, and called them, telling them about what had happened and that she needs professional help, before she winds up dead. Now, here's the question: How can they get her committed, without having to go to court, to become her guardian? She's a danger to herself and others (she also has a gun in her purse). The aunt refuses to report her to the police, but, she wants to have her committed (that's they only way to make her get back on her psych drugs and get her off the illegal drugs and off the streets). A few months back, I learned that she was taking advantage of my kindness, and it was just a big joke to her. So, I stopped talking to her. I have kept in contact with her daughter and her (now) ex-boyfriend. Does anybody know of what her daughter and aunt can do, to help save her from herself???

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Nothing and why would you try at this stage ?

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Yeah, lost cause, let her choices reach their natural conclusion.

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Seriously i have known someone friends to my parents with this illness and there is nothing anyone can do until the authorities take it seriously enough and have said person committed or arrested and even they are held back by certain criteria. It is no easy feat to get a sick person off the street. Don't enable them, don't play into the delusions. Just be there for them when they have been through treatment and restabalizied.

Edited by bLu3 de 3n3rgy

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It is not about judging your friend or her lover, however there is nothing you can do, apart from prayer, which I believe helps but in ways that we perhaps will not see nor understand. Your friend while she is using, will only use you to get what she wants. I would suggest you go to a 12 step program that will help you get better boundaries with this. I have been there, it is painful and you are a good friend, but you can't help her unless she asks. I am sorry for your friend and understand. Half of my family is into drugs.and drinking, so I have had to learn to put up boundaries without rejecting them.

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/is-alanon-for-you

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Hi, I'm back with an update and a question.

My friend stopped taking all of her meds four months ago. She became very abusive towards her boyfriend, when he refused to go out and look meth and other illegal street drugs for her. He was getting tired of begging for money from his relatives, which she demanded he do, in order to get more booze, the minute they were out. She was in constant contact with her old party pal she had back in California, over the last 4 years. Together, they devised a plan that would get her back out there, so they could "party" again. For a few weeks, she would get up in the wee hours of the morning, while her boyfriend was still asleep, to scout the neighborhood for her drug of choice (meth). her boyfriend caught her many times, coming out of different (known drug) houses, throughout the area (with more and more bruises on her body). her and her boyfriend, one day, were returning home, from the store, then she hung herself halfway out of the car window, and started yelling rape. After they got home, she attacked him with a rake (hit him in the head), he had to wrestle it away from her. Then when he was in the bathroom, she called the police and told them her boyfriend just beat her up for no reason. (they both were drunk) The cops came, and she said he did it all (the bruises), he didn't mention what she did to him, because he didn't want her to get arrested. She yelled at the cops to take him away for beating her up, and they did. She called her aunt, told her that her boyfriend beat her up from head to toe and raped her (she never said that to the police). As she waited for her aunt to get her, she decided to take with her, his wallet, the house and car keys, and 2 bottles of his meds (which she later sold, to get her drugs in California). Her aunt "bought" the story and made arrangements with another relative, to get her back to CA, and find her a place to live. It just keeps getting worse!!! She's been back for a little over a month and she's been trading sex for drugs, cigarettes, booze, prescription pain meds, with a lot of different guys. The apt.. her aunt got her, is destroyed. She ripped off a drug dealer for a huge amount of meth. Well, that drug dealer knew where she lived and came and kicked the door open and was beating the heck out of her, but took off when he heard the sirens outside. The guy she gets her pills from (he's in his early 70's), took pity on her, and had her come to his place for a few days, for her safety. He sedated her, went through her purse, found a large assortment of illegal drugs, took out the meth, and gave it back to the drug dealer (a quarter of it was missing), hoping that this guy won't kill her, when he has a chance. found her daughter's and her aunt's phone numbers, and called them, telling them about what had happened and that she needs professional help, before she winds up dead. Now, here's the question: How can they get her committed, without having to go to court, to become her guardian? She's a danger to herself and others (she also has a gun in her purse). The aunt refuses to report her to the police, but, she wants to have her committed (that's they only way to make her get back on her psych drugs and get her off the illegal drugs and off the streets). A few months back, I learned that she was taking advantage of my kindness, and it was just a big joke to her. So, I stopped talking to her. I have kept in contact with her daughter and her (now) ex-boyfriend. Does anybody know of what her daughter and aunt can do, to help save her from herself???

You have to prove she is a threat to others or to herself. Probate court takes care of that. If you have a wittiness when she does something dangerous to herself or others you can call the police and they will take her to a mental hospital for evaluation. However in the end, when she sobers up, they may let her go after 72 hours.

peace

mark

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Thank you, markdohle, for responding to my question!! I will let her daughter know!!! Thank you, again!!!

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