Ever Learning Posted February 14, 2013 #1 Share Posted February 14, 2013 (edited) The angels tell me, that i will soon be born. im the last of my friends, to be placed in a womb, that is warm. they are happy to live, even tho they cry and wine. every one forgets heaven, and is born in due time. Will my mother love me, was i planned? will my father leave, and that position stay unmanned. i love hearing the angels sing, each soul a gift, to every mother they bring. not as often as they leave do souls return. back from the world, who had a chance to love and learn. whats this, i hear the angels cry, they carry a soul, this isnt the normal reaction when we all die. the soul does not remember here or there heavens filled with weeping, all the souls just sit and stare. what happened, wasnt he born? the angels shudder, and they yell " Abortion!!! My heart goes out to women who have been raped, at harm because of pregnancy, all who have aborted for the right reasons. Edited February 14, 2013 by Armchair Educated 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted February 14, 2013 #2 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Critique coming up: that really isn't very nice. And the last line 'My heart etc' only seems to emphasise that you think the exact opposite! (That's how it reads, anyway). 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ever Learning Posted February 14, 2013 Author #3 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Critique coming up: that really isn't very nice. And the last line 'My heart etc' only seems to emphasise that you think the exact opposite! (That's how it reads, anyway). i think it would horrible for the child to be born from a rape or a mother to have a baby from a rape. abortion makes me sad but that doesnt mean i dont think it shouldnt be an option. ive met people who have been born and have the mother hate the child and the child grow up tormenting and hating its self. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ever Learning Posted February 14, 2013 Author #4 Share Posted February 14, 2013 (edited) its meant to be a sad poem, i apoligise if i went too far. or have upset anyone. Edited February 14, 2013 by Armchair Educated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted February 14, 2013 #5 Share Posted February 14, 2013 You've conncocted an overly(IMO), dramatic, sentimental(Victorian) scenario that just really grates on me. Sorry. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ever Learning Posted February 14, 2013 Author #6 Share Posted February 14, 2013 You've conncocted an overly(IMO), dramatic, sentimental(Victorian) scenario that just really grates on me. Sorry. im truely sorry, it was meant to be sad. i thought id challenge my self to make a sad one. i take joy in making people happy and it pains me to see you upset. truly sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted February 14, 2013 #7 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Mawkish! That's the word I was looking for. You haven't upset me, it's just that you did ask for people to comment. I'm sure others will come along and say the opposite. You must write what you want to write about, how you want to write it ....... but not everyone will like/appreciate what you do. I believe that souls drift in and out of 'heaven' willy-nilly, covering all sorts of time scales ...... not a particularly big deal ...... there's always another opportunity to reincarnate. This is the background to how I feel about what you have written ..... I feel you have sensationalised the situation. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ever Learning Posted February 14, 2013 Author #8 Share Posted February 14, 2013 (edited) Mawkish! That's the word I was looking for. You haven't upset me, it's just that you did ask for people to comment. I'm sure others will come along and say the opposite. You must write what you want to write about, how you want to write it ....... but not everyone will like/appreciate what you do. I believe that souls drift in and out of 'heaven' willy-nilly, covering all sorts of time scales ...... not a particularly big deal ...... there's always another opportunity to reincarnate. This is the background to how I feel about what you have written ..... I feel you have sensationalised the situation. its impossible for me to know what happens to souls and what i wrote isnt what i believe. i hope the same as you that they are reincarnated. what i wrote is just my fear, that is born out of the opposite extreme of my hope. i respect your honest critique, altho it was mortifying to read it. im not sure i will write any negative poems for a while. Edited February 14, 2013 by Armchair Educated 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ever Learning Posted February 14, 2013 Author #9 Share Posted February 14, 2013 (edited) i feel like dr Frankenstein, when hes appalled by the monster hes created Edited February 14, 2013 by Armchair Educated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Still Waters Posted February 14, 2013 #10 Share Posted February 14, 2013 I think it's a good poem on a very sad and delicate subject. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BNDGK Posted February 14, 2013 #11 Share Posted February 14, 2013 I agree that this could be a... touchy (?) subject. I also agree with your views in that abortions are sad but in a situation where the parents would be unable to care for or love the child, then why put it into a life where it will be... unwanted? I don't agree with abortions but... it is my oppinion that perhaps it should be the choice of the parent but who's to say? Everyone is entitled to their oppinion in every situation. I choose now to look at this peice on the matter of emotion and creation, as opposed to the subject matter. I think it is wonderfully written and sensibly composed, very nice use of words to convey to the reader the emotion. Thumbs up AE! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ever Learning Posted February 14, 2013 Author #12 Share Posted February 14, 2013 I agree that this could be a... touchy (?) subject. I also agree with your views in that abortions are sad but in a situation where the parents would be unable to care for or love the child, then why put it into a life where it will be... unwanted? I don't agree with abortions but... it is my oppinion that perhaps it should be the choice of the parent but who's to say? Everyone is entitled to their oppinion in every situation. I choose now to look at this peice on the matter of emotion and creation, as opposed to the subject matter. I think it is wonderfully written and sensibly composed, very nice use of words to convey to the reader the emotion. Thumbs up AE! thanks for your comment, its my most controversial poem yet. i understand that babys cant always be supported, i just dont want peeps to get in that situation. safe sex is important 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BNDGK Posted February 14, 2013 #13 Share Posted February 14, 2013 thanks for your comment, its my most controversial poem yet. i understand that babys cant always be supported, i just dont want peeps to get in that situation. safe sex is important Dont worry about controversy, everyone has different opinions whether they chose to share them or not. The poem is well written and i really enjoy it. Safe sex is important, i completely agree. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight Of Shadows Posted February 14, 2013 #14 Share Posted February 14, 2013 as for the poem its a good and quite well expressed however .. i believe the child of rape could be the best thing that can happens to a person do not mistake me for saying rape is good thing am just saying not all people have aportion .. the child is innocents for one and for two .. it's not surely going to be " a hell spawn " just because he had criminal father sometimes the child can be a saint and father be a devil in flesh and other times it's the quite oppsite under no condition at all i would consider the child any lesser than any other child personally abortion or not .. that's up to the poor viciim 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ever Learning Posted February 14, 2013 Author #15 Share Posted February 14, 2013 (edited) as for the poem its a good and quite well expressed however .. i believe the child of rape could be the best thing that can happens to a person do not mistake me for saying rape is good thing am just saying not all people have aportion .. the child is innocents for one and for two .. it's not surely going to be " a hell spawn " just because he had criminal father sometimes the child can be a saint and father be a devil in flesh and other times it's the quite oppsite under no condition at all i would consider the child any lesser than any other child personally abortion or not .. that's up to the poor viciim i my self would keep a child from a rape and show that it was loved, i probably wouldnt tell him/her about its origins tho. but if someone cant provide this love, then maybe they shouldnt have baby. Edited February 14, 2013 by Armchair Educated 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight Of Shadows Posted February 14, 2013 #16 Share Posted February 14, 2013 (edited) yeah if person unable to take care of child then yes personally i would tell the child in certain age where his origins are exactly from just like i would teach him/her that every person is responsable for their actions no one suffers for anyone else's sin .. you pay for your sin i would want him to be aware and yet guilt-free of something some one else did Edited February 14, 2013 by Knight Of Shadows 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ever Learning Posted February 14, 2013 Author #17 Share Posted February 14, 2013 yeah if person unable to take care of child then yes personally i would tell the child in certain age where his origins are exactly from just like i would teach him/her that every person is responsable for their actions no one suffers for anyone else's sin .. you pay for your sin i would want him to be aware and yet guilt-free of something some one else did i respect your words alot, its a good way to look at it and certainly soothes my convicted soul biblicaly 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight Of Shadows Posted February 14, 2013 #18 Share Posted February 14, 2013 (edited) i respect your words alot, its a good way to look at it and certainly soothes my convicted soul biblicaly lol .. apologies that wasn't the intention at all to hint anything religiously related it's just my look on things in general .. away from religious cheers Edited February 14, 2013 by Knight Of Shadows 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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