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ali smack

why is homophobia commonplace?

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I think fear is underneath your revulsion here.

The Buddha identified three sources of suffering The most common is desire, which when unsatisfied causes frustration and when satisfied causes fear of loss. The second most common is revulsion, as we suffer when we can't avoid things that revolt us. (The third is delusion, but that isn't pertinent here).

It may be that the revulsion you experience when seeing two men kiss is minor and you can ignore it, but if it really bothers you, you should overcome it, as it is you who suffers, not the men kissing, and it is quite irrational. There is nothing in their act that should effect you in the slightest.

I'm not afraid of them or the way they're shaped.

I just have a lot of quirks about textures and shapes. Cheese Graters also squick me out, as do most things with maze-like grooves. Like sponges. Or toast where the butter is a little too thick and some cinnamon sticks to the butter mound.

I'm not afraid of anything. I'm just weird.

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My wife certainly would have thought that funny.

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I'm not afraid of them or the way they're shaped.

I just have a lot of quirks about textures and shapes. Cheese Graters also squick me out, as do most things with maze-like grooves. Like sponges. Or toast where the butter is a little too thick and some cinnamon sticks to the butter mound.

I'm not afraid of anything. I'm just weird.

I am probably wrong then in thinking the revulsion stems from fear. Wherever it comes from, I trust you see that it is not rational and that the only one suffering from it is yourself.

Most of the time our revulsions are natural -- such as the revulsion to feces or to the smell of death. These are evolved to protect us, but they do sometimes get in the way of our doing things that are necessary, and so should be overcome as much as possible.

A revulsion to two men sexually involved is probably something similar, and not unlike the revulsion homosexual men sometimes express to the idea of their being with a woman.

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Well, all I can offer, is that as a very young male, I was raped by 2 other males.

Very unpleasent for me. So, I do have a bias.

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No one should be offended by two people kissing each other, no matter the 'make up'.

I am of the opinion however that when they start 'locking tounges' in a public place, they should 'get a room'.

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No one should be offended by two people kissing each other, no matter the 'make up'.

I am of the opinion however that when they start 'locking tounges' in a public place, they should 'get a room'.

This goes for everyone, though, not only gays.

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I am of the opinion however that when they start 'locking tounges' in a public place, they should 'get a room'.

This is basically my stance.

Like I said, I don't care what people do or what their orientation is. I'd just rather not see it.

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Very unpleasent for me. So, I do have a bias.

Jeez, I'm sorry to learn that. :(

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This goes for everyone, though, not only gays.

Most definately, it's simply impolite.

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Jeez, I'm sorry to learn that. :(

Thanks. Yeah, it really messed-up my teen years with girls. (I felt so ashamed, inside, telling no-one, and thus being very shy around girls)

I am happy to say that the second person was arrested and is in prison for multiple minor-child rapes.

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I am very sorry to hear that, pallidin. I can't even imagine what a horrible experience that must have been. But you shouldn't be biased towards homosexuals. They are not all rapists, or pedophiles.

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Something similar happened to me when I was going to school in the States, but it was just weird and I never did anything about it. First, of course, I was about twenty (memory doesn't serve me well when it comes to exact ages) so it was not about child rape, but it was still rape. The guy cornered me in a men's room and tried to jack me off; but I didn't respond and turned away so he jacked himself off and then fled. It all happened in a matter of a few seconds, and there was no "penetration" or anything like that.

The truth is, I kinda felt sorry for him, being so frustrated that he resorts to that.

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I am very sorry to hear that, pallidin. I can't even imagine what a horrible experience that must have been. But you shouldn't be biased towards homosexuals. They are not all rapists, or pedophiles.

I made a similar post, except that I guess that it disappeared in the ether.

Except that, given that trauma, any bias after the fact would be understandable.

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Something similar happened to me when I was going to school in the States, but it was just weird and I never did anything about it. First, of course, I was about twenty (memory doesn't serve me well when it comes to exact ages) so it was not about child rape, but it was still rape. The guy cornered me in a men's room and tried to jack me off; but I didn't respond and turned away so he jacked himself off and then fled. It all happened in a matter of a few seconds, and there was no "penetration" or anything like that.

The truth is, I kinda felt sorry for him, being so frustrated that he resorts to that.

I think(?) my source of homophobia is the result of my being raped as a very young child, and changing my life for the worse.

What's strange, or maybe not, if I am totally sober around gays I'm somewhat perfectly fine and have a sense of acceptance regarding their lifestyle.

But, if I'm drunk I find myself getting very angry. And VERY loud about it. I know, it's my problem.

Lesbians, for some reason, I have no problem with.

I stay away from many bars for the reason of my anger.

Edited by pallidin
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Something similar happened to me...

The truth is, I kinda felt sorry for him, being so frustrated that he resorts to that.

I'm sorry Frank, I can't 'like' your comment per se. Again, all I can say is that I'm sorry to learn that. :(

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I stay away from many bars for the reason of my anger.

Decades ago an ex-girlfriend came to the city I was living in and called me up for a visit. But she also wanted to visit an ex-roomate of her's living there as well that was, how they say, 'flaming'.

He and his 3 friends met up with us at a place (restaurant/bar) called Doll & Pennies on Robson St., Vancouver. We had the quintessential 'gay sarcastic waiter' and everything. I'd never had such fun time in my life, ever. Two or three times over the evening I had to wipe tears of laughter from my face. I grew up in a redneck town but for me, any thought of homophobia was forever dispelled. :)

That said, your personal bias is understandable. :(

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Thank you. I'm going to leave this topic for now as it's hard on me.

Peace...

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I'm sorry Frank, I can't 'like' your comment per se. Again, all I can say is that I'm sorry to learn that. :(

There is no particular reason you should "like" it, but I don't understand why you are sorry that I kinda felt sorry for him.
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There is no particular reason you should "like" it, but I don't understand why you are sorry that I kinda felt sorry for him.

Sorry Frank, miscommunication. I'm not sorry that you felt sorry for him. I'm sorry for your experience.

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Sorry Frank, miscommunication. I'm not sorry that you felt sorry for him. I'm sorry for your experience.

It wasn't a bad experience. I wasn't frightened or angry or even repulsed. Just disinterested, and my turning away was pure reflex (although I think the correct thing to do in that I really did not know what he might be attempting until I was able to reflect on it).

I think that is how straight guys should respond to such approaches -- "Sorry, Mack, not my thing." Of course if the guy is a minor then the authorities or at least a parent should be told about it.

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That's how I'll respond to asking me out.

Giving me an unwanted reach-around is a totally different scenario. I would not react kindly.

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That's how I'll respond to asking me out.

Giving me an unwanted reach-around is a totally different scenario. I would not react kindly.

Well yea of course.

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Homosexuality is a mental disorder in the same vein as many other things (such as being artistic, apparently)

.

i'm artistic, does that mean I now qualify for some kind of government grant on account of my newly discovered mental disorder??

in fact, knackers to the grant, i'd be happy with some free psychotropics!

yaaayy! mogadon paaarteee!!

:-)

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Thanks. Yeah, it really messed-up my teen years with girls. (I felt so ashamed, inside, telling no-one, and thus being very shy around girls)

I am happy to say that the second person was arrested and is in prison for multiple minor-child rapes.

Just to say, I "liked" your post because the person is in prison not because of the first part!

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I think(?) my source of homophobia is the result of my being raped as a very young child, and changing my life for the worse.

What's strange, or maybe not, if I am totally sober around gays I'm somewhat perfectly fine and have a sense of acceptance regarding their lifestyle.

But, if I'm drunk I find myself getting very angry. And VERY loud about it. I know, it's my problem.

Lesbians, for some reason, I have no problem with.

I stay away from many bars for the reason of my anger.

While I can't stand homophobia, yours is based on actual events that caused these feelings in you. Im my opinion it's perfectly understandable why you feel that way.

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