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OverSword

Read this in the voice of the batman narrator

40 posts in this topic

The mods will likely lock this saying we already have a 9-11 thread, but I thought this was so damn funny that I had to post it.

from a cave in Afghanistan, nineteen hard-drinking, coke-snorting, devout Muslims enjoy lap dances before their mission to meet Allah…Using nothing more than craft knifes, they overpower cabin crew, passengers and pilots on four planes…And hangover or not, they manage to give the world’s most sophisticated air defense system the slip…Unphased by leaving their “How to Fly a Passenger Jet” guide in the car at the airport, they master the controls in no-time and score direct hits on two towers, causing THREE to collapse completely…Our masterminds even manage to overpower the odd law of physics or two… and the world watches in awe as steel-framed buildings fall symmetrically – through their own mass – at free-fall speed, for the first time in history. Despite all their dastardly cunning, they stupidly give their identity away by using explosion-proof passports, which survive the fireball undamaged and fall to the ground… only to be discovered by the incredible crime-fighting sleuths at the FBI Meanwhile down in Washington…Hani Hanjour, having previously flunked 2-man Cessna flying school, gets carried away with all the success of the day and suddenly finds incredible abilities behind the controls of a Boeing…Instead of flying straight down into the large roof area of the Pentagon, he decides to show off a little…Executing an incredible 270 degree downward spiral, he levels off to hit the low facade of the world’s most heavily defended building……all without a single shot being fired…. or ruining the nicely mowed lawn… and all at a speed just too fast to capture on video…

…Later, in the skies above Pennsylvania…So desperate to talk to loved ones before their death, some passengers use sheer willpower to connect mobile calls that otherwise would not be possible until several years later…And following a heroic attempt by some to retake control of Flight 93, it crashes into a Shankesville field leaving no trace of engines, fuselage or occupants… except for the standard issue Muslim terrorists bandana……Further south in Florida…President Bush, our brave Commander-in-Chief continues to read “My Pet Goat” to a class full of primary school children… shrugging off the obvious possibility that his life could be in imminent danger…In New York…Trade Center leaseholder Larry Silverstein blesses his own foresight in insuring the buildings against terrorist attack only six weeks previously…While back in Washington, Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and Paul Wolfowitz shake their heads in disbelief at their own luck in getting the ‘New Pearl Harbor’ catalyzing event they so desired to pursue their agenda of world domination…And finally, not to be disturbed too much by reports of their own deaths, at least seven of our nineteen suicide hijackers turn up alive and kicking in Lamestream media reports (DO NOT ask questions!!)(Go shopping!!)(Somewhere in the good ol’ USSA of Amerika a TSA pat-down is waiting for you) The FY 2012 National Defense Authorization Act awaits us all. Repeal the Patriot-Act TODAY! UN Agenda 21 anybody?

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I read it in Batman's voice, does that count? .... and now my throat hurts

Edited by Wordless Wanderer
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I read it in Batman's voice, does that count? .... and now my throat hurts

I meant the narrator from the 1960's TV show. You're probably too young WW

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The Adam West's Batman?

*nananananananana BATMAN*

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yep!

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Holy crap... Did Babe Ruth write that garbage...? :huh:

But yeah... reading it in that voice does make it funnier... :)

Cz

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Funny, OverSword. It's good to be able to finally laugh about it, IMO.

Yeah, whoever dreamed up the various parts of the story you mention, whoever did the thinking for that, he did not think too hard. :no:

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The best bit which has me laughing is....

Executing an incredible 270 degree downward spiral, he levels off to hit the low facade of the world’s most heavily defended building……all without a single shot being fired…. or ruining the nicely mowed lawn… and all at a speed just too fast to capture on video

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The best bit which has me laughing is....

Executing an incredible 270 degree downward spiral, he levels off to hit the low facade of the world’s most heavily defended building……all without a single shot being fired…. or ruining the nicely mowed lawn… and all at a speed just too fast to capture on video

For the record, how missile missiles protect the Pentagon from an air attack?

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For the record, how missile missiles protect the Pentagon from an air attack?

What you asking me for? Ask the author...lol

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What you asking me for? Ask the author...lol

Then, why did you post the followng?

...of the world’s most heavily defended building

The Pentagon is not the most heavily defended building in the world, and on Saturday, I ran into yet another person who was inside the Pentagon when American 77 struck. She also saw Rumsfeld assisting as well.

Goes to show that you depend upon the wrong people.

Edited by skyeagle409

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Then, why did you post the followng?

For people who understand that I was quoting in context the statement and highlighted the bit I though was funny, which was not the part you quoted by the way...lol

HIghlighting a lack of reading comprehensions.

The Pentagon is not the most heavily defended building in the world, and on Saturday, I ran into yet another person who was in the Pentagon when American 77 crashed.

Not that I ever claimed it was the most heavily defended building in the world, but ouf of curiosity, which building is it then if not the Pentagon? I'm guessing The White House and if so, is the pentagon second??

Please educate my dumb ass on the strawman you have built...lol

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For people who understand that I was quoting in context the statement and highlighted the bit I though was funny, which was not the part you quoted by the way...lol

You posted that the Pentagon was the world's most heavily defended building in the world. Are you now denying that you posted such a message? What you had done was to post false and misleading bits of disinformation in front of everyone.

Question is: why did you post that false statement?

Edited by skyeagle409

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You posted that the Pentagon was the world's most heavily defended building in the world.
No, I repeated the opening post........and highlighted the bits I thought were funny and poignant. lol
Are you now denying that you posted such a message?
Yes because, I copied the post, which I then reposted. lol
What you had done was to post false and misleading bits of disinformation in front of everyone.
Only misleading cause you don't understand context and have reading difficulites...lol
Question is: why did you post that false statement?
I did not post it, the opening poster did...lol Edited by Stundie

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Yes because, I copied the post, which I then reposted. lol

What you posted was false information. The Pentagon is not the most heavily defended building in the world. To sum that up, you've allowed yourself to be duped by another person who had no idea what he was talking about.

Executing an incredible 270 degree downward spiral, he levels off to hit the low facade of the world’s most heavily defended building……

You posted it! Proof that you've posted false and misleading information. As an experiment, take your car and conduct an 3 1/2 minute 270 degree turn and see how boring that can be.

Edited by skyeagle409

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Um, no Skyeagle, Stundie did repost part of the OP's statement. They (he/she) didn't quote it directly from the source, they just cut and pasted it. :)

Edit: That said, in my opinion, there's not an iota of the OP that could or should be taken seriously. The statements made are merely a humourous compilation of the popular fabrications of the conspiracy theorists.

I'd laugh this joke off. :)

Edited by Likely Guy
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Um, no Skyeagle, Stundie did repost part of the OP's statement. They (he/she) didn't quote it directly from the source, they just cut and pasted it. :)

Stundie should never have posted that false and misleading information in the first place.

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Can we please for the love of whatever god or gods you hold sacrosanct NOT turn this into another Stundie vs. SkyEagle s**itshow of a thread...?

Cz

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Can we please for the love of whatever god or gods you hold sacrosanct NOT turn this into another Stundie vs. SkyEagle s**itshow of a thread...?

Cz

I have no intentions of addressing Skyeagle's ridiculous misunderstanding, but I would love to know which according to him, is the worlds most secure building if it is not the Pentagon or White House?

But I know that asking for a response is asking to much.....lol

Edited by Stundie

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I have no intentions of addressing Skyeagle's ridiculous misunderstanding, but I would love to know which according to him, is the worlds most secure building if it is not the Pentagon or White House?

But I know that asking for a response is asking to much.....lol

Something tells me I'm going to regret this....

I guess it depends which list you go by.

A quick scan of 3 "Top 10" lists on the first page of a Google search for "most secure building in the US" (seems to default to "in the world") shows the Pentagon at #1 on one list, #9 on another, and it doesn't even make the third list.

List 1

List 2

List 3

Since "Most Secure" is rather subjective and open to interpretation as to what, exactly makes a location "secure", and since most conspiracy theorists just assume its the Pentagon because, hey... PENTAGON!!!!!111ONEONE!!, this whole line of discussion is, actually, ludicrously pointless.

Cz

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Stundie should never have posted that false and misleading information in the first place.

Aside from the pentagon being or not being the most secure building in the US, everything in the OP's statment is fact. Everything. I mean just the fact that these so called "muslim extremists" had a coke party with strippers kinda puts some serious doubt in the official story. Unless of course you can show me in any muslim text where such a thing is permissable by God just before you kill yourself. Youd think those guys would have just spent 40 days in the wilderness fasting and praying the whole time before they prepared to meet thier maker.

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The OP is just a short, online version of some Saturday Night Live comedy script, nothing more.

The author is simply able to evoke comedy and absurdity, as they are inspired by the OCT. When examined closely, the OCT has more ridiculous parts than serious parts.

As LG said, laugh it off. Frequently laughter is the best cure.

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Something tells me I'm going to regret this....

I guess it depends which list you go by.

A quick scan of 3 "Top 10" lists on the first page of a Google search for "most secure building in the US" (seems to default to "in the world") shows the Pentagon at #1 on one list, #9 on another, and it doesn't even make the third list.

List 1

List 2

List 3

Since "Most Secure" is rather subjective and open to interpretation as to what, exactly makes a location "secure", and since most conspiracy theorists just assume its the Pentagon because, hey... PENTAGON!!!!!111ONEONE!!, this whole line of discussion is, actually, ludicrously pointless.

Cz

Maybe you should tell your buddy Skyeagle seeing as the opening posts claims it's the most secure building and not me, even though I quoted it it along with the rest of the relevant statment and highlighted what I thought was funny. However, I was curious to know which building was the most secure if it's not the Pentagon or White House just out of curiosity, but like you said, it subjective and depends on how you define secure.

Although most conspiracy theorists claim/assume its the Pentagon, doesn't mean I claim or assume it, making it a ludicrous point really.

Nice to see we can agree.

Cheers

Stundie :)

Edited by Stundie

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Stundie should never have posted that false and misleading information in the first place.

Are you stupid? At this point its a legit question. I'm the one who started this thread and quite clearly stated at the beginning that it was for comedic purposes. I did not write it I cut and pasted it from a different non-copywrited place on the internet. This is a thread for entertainment only. Do you need me to tell you again or do you think you might understand it this time????

To everyone else, I apologize. I am just getting very frustrated with the dim people that comment on posts without reading them first.

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Are you stupid? At this point its a legit question. I'm the one who started this thread and quite clearly stated at the beginning that it was for comedic purposes. I did not write it I cut and pasted it from a different non-copywrited place on the internet. This is a thread for entertainment only. Do you need me to tell you again or do you think you might understand it this time????

To everyone else, I apologize. I am just getting very frustrated with the dim people that comment on posts without reading them first.

I have flown into Reagan airport on several occasions. If an aircraft on final approach to runway 19 at Ronald Reagan airport decided to make a sudden right turn, there would have been nothing to stop the aircraft from slamming into the Pentagon. I have also been sent TDY to Andrews AFB, and the F-16 unit at Andrews AFB was not even familiar with air defense protocol of NORAD during the 911 attacks nor even trained to shoot down airliners. In fact, no air defense unit on the East Coast had authority to shoot down airliners within the borders of the United States when the Pentagon was struck. How do you defend the Pentagon from an aircraft on final to runway 15 or runway 19 should that aircraft decide to make an aggressive move toward the Pentagon? There is nothing to stop an aircraft from slamming into the Pentagon even to this very day and if you decide to check it out, many aircraft have violated the restricted flight zone over Washington D.C. since 911.

People have confused "secure" with "heavily defended."

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