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Odd Requiem

insight

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I am a chaotic Christian existentialist cynic. I have no idea what that means. I am 32 going on 73. I have seen God in a butterfly’s wing, and the Devil in a child’s eye. I like raping minds, and love to watch it happen. I appreciate the beauty of all life, except roaches. I say kill all the little motherxxxxxxs. I can’t help but cry at the sight of a dead bird. Nothing is sadder than a broken wing that can no longer fly. I will die before I am old. I know that much. By murder, by accident, by illness, by the Rapture, I don’t know. Your guess is as good as mine. All I know is I will not die by my own hand. It is beneath me. I have seen the best of man and his worst. Every single day I see it. It disgusts me yet gives me hope. Maybe someday we will make it through and live in a place where the streets are made of crystal and where silk flows in the breeze, where the rivers flow with wine and string cheese is free to all who want it. I am ready to die. I will not seek it. It will come to me. I have been ready since the day I was born. Yet, somehow, I am not. Not like this. Not right now. I can’t go yet. Not without first climbing out of the grave I have dug for myself. Let them dig my grave themselves. I am still needed here, though I have no need to be here. They will find my purpose, I shall fulfill it, and I will be gone. I love this Earth. It is beautiful and filled with the wonders and bounty of those before us. Yet somehow, sometimes, I can’t help but think that there is no place worse than this planet. It’s horrible here.

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Leaves cup of hot chocolate and bag of sweets

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