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Miss Shadows

Ladies? Input?

28 posts in this topic

Men are more than free to post as well, it's just I definitely want a census from the femmes in approximate numerical values. My quandary here is, how much attention does the average woman get from men? Or maybe I should ask, what's a normal range? To consider factors such as behavior and dress, I'm not overly modest or too revealing in either sense. I'm a happy medium when in public, yet I feel like for some reason I get a lot of guys coming on to me. No, I'm not bragging, it just seems 'disproportionate' to what I've seen and heard from other women. Ultimately, here are my two questions. Go ahead and share, elaborate...

Women: Approximately how many times in one average month do you have a man a) ask for your number/e mail/etc, and/or B) ask you for a get-together/date?

Men: What would lead you to approach a lady? Assuming you're not already dating, how many women would you ask out typically in one month?

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Certainly a quandary of a question

I have no clue

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Why do you want a date. :unsure2:

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Do you include being randomly groped despite having had absolutely no prior interaction with someone in a club, and despite the fact that one is not dressed in inappropriate clothing in this? Because unfortunately that changes the numbers a lot.

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It surely depends on the males who are around you and your environment.

Same thing for men; hang around nuns or a library your chances of a ration of passion are way slimmer than hanging around the local night clubs. No matter how you look.

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Guys where I live are desperate. LOL, like I hate going to the cafe because they're always calling me out, stepping in front of me or checking me out. Like uh, I don't know, I always try to get out and come back before any of them go out and I never give them the time of day. I know what they want and they aren't getting that from me. :)

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I don't know, it just seems like I get an odd amount of attention. No, not counting the handsy guys, like I said counting ones who ask for a number etc and/or date. Unless it's a special occasion (concerts, beach, etc) I'm nowhere too exciting either. Think school, grocery store, work, coffee place, couple book shops, a local sex shop, and just walking around town with friends, or in the hardware or car and motorcycle part shop. Typical places 90 percent of the time, but going off an average month for me, and not counting anything but what I said above...I get about 75-85 guys asking me out a month, literally.

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Posted (edited)

I don't know, it just seems like I get an odd amount of attention. No, not counting the handsy guys, like I said counting ones who ask for a number etc and/or date. Unless it's a special occasion (concerts, beach, etc) I'm nowhere too exciting either. Think school, grocery store, work, coffee place, couple book shops, a local sex shop, and just walking around town with friends, or in the hardware or car and motorcycle part shop. Typical places 90 percent of the time, but going off an average month for me, and not counting anything but what I said above...I get about 75-85 guys asking me out a month, literally.

Well, you're a beautiful female, why are you so surprised guys are asking you out?

Edited by Leona Lewis

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Just my views on things for the question you asked for men.

I look for several things

1.Is she a attention seeker?Then no!There is a difference in being sexy and knowing it and a attention whore.

2.Her thought process what do we have in common?

3.What are her world views?What moral character does she have?

4.Looks yes this is number 4 for me,i have had beauty queens and model types some have rocks for brains much as some of our part of the species lol.I do not want a dummy i prefer an equal.Or atleast one who can help me correct my mistakes haha.

5.This last one can have several different answers,most of the others can be figured out in a short conversation.

Your second question

I usually am the one who gets asked out.I do not have near the 75-85 per month rate but usually 15-20 if i go to bars in one night i can equal or surpass my average in one night not bragging just happens lol.

Why this is i am actually very quiet i prefer to be alone atleast 2 or 3 days a week i have to spend time by myself to be alone with my thoughts.Most women do not allow alone time haha.I train and fight for a living when i am in pain i can be a ******* even if i do not try to be it just happens.

This explains why i got such a laugh about mr omega male a few topics back i can be cocky,arrogant,competitive,and everything else but i am me.I am not a stereotype alpha male believe me i could be a lot worse if i just wanted to be a arrogant ass :lol:

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i feel exactly the same .. where ever i go women all over me " blushes "

and am very shy person i don't know what to do !

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I assume that is you in your avatar?

You're good looking, and you have mannerisms that make you more attractive. I'm sure the picture was not some "let's pretend to be a sensual woman" thing. It's probably just you. Beauty, skin showing and coyness attract guys. Do you smile at a lot of people? They consider that an open invitation. Or... maybe they've seen you going into the sex shop, or the knowledge that you go there gets around, so you have a reputation for liking sex a lot.

Quite frankly, I can't even imagine seeing 75 different people in one month. Do you go to the market and attract a swarm or something? Maybe you have overactive pheromone producing glands. lol

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I assume that is you in your avatar?

You're good looking, and you have mannerisms that make you more attractive. I'm sure the picture was not some "let's pretend to be a sensual woman" thing. It's probably just you. Beauty, skin showing and coyness attract guys. Do you smile at a lot of people? They consider that an open invitation. Or... maybe they've seen you going into the sex shop, or the knowledge that you go there gets around, so you have a reputation for liking sex a lot.

Quite frankly, I can't even imagine seeing 75 different people in one month. Do you go to the market and attract a swarm or something? Maybe you have overactive pheromone producing glands. lol

Hm. Yes, t'is me in the picture, and that's basically...just me. I wasn't really 'aiming' for anything there, I just exude whatever I exude naturally 98 percent of the time. I have guys ask me out like this in all kinds of dress, attitude, introversion or extroversion. I do smile a lot, but I just tend to be a warmer person by most natures. I don't think it's the sex shop, it's just an out of the way place that sells all kinds of stuff like books, candles, bath salts; not just 'sex stuff', and I've never heard one word, and never seen anyone I know there.

Well that's why I posted this. 75+ seems like a lot, right? I don't exactly attract swarms (lol! Had the same thought about pheromones), but if you think about it I probably walk by at least 20 people every time I'm in the grocery store. I run by maybe double that going out for runs, and I see hundreds of strangers at work every day. Between things like that and miscellaneous outings, I have some sense of contact and/or visibility to probably 1,000 plus people in an average week, and out of that, I have anywhere between 20-25 guys that ask me for a date, or phone number. 20 out of a 1,000 isn't a big deal really, but when that's 20+ men in the flesh that I deal with per week, it just feels like more.

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Men: What would lead you to approach a lady?

Romantically.

A smile, with eye contact longer than a normal glance. I'm blind when it comes to subtle flirting so it really has to be signposted,

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Any woman wearing a Firefly, Doctor WHO, or Star Trek t-shirt is likely to get hit on by me. I like nerd girls, they're the best.

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Any woman wearing a Firefly, Doctor WHO, or Star Trek t-shirt is likely to get hit on by me. I like nerd girls, they're the best.

.....and probably the most desperate!!!!

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.....and probably the most desperate!!!!

LOL! I disagree. The most desperate are the ones who try the hardest to attract a man. Can't leave the house without makeup, always going out to clubs, dating sites.....desperate.
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Gets a lot of attention:

HamSandwich.jpg

Does not get a lot of attention:

moldybread.jpg

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If your body language is anything like how you've been writing in this topic plus your looks, I'd approach, to talk. Looks then body language, then from there I look for all the finer details. Like how their brain works. Not just humor, smarts and honesty, but things like curiosity and a playful cleverness. Looks draw me in and personality and smarts are what keep me hooked.

For women I ask out generally in a month....... It's low maybe 1(At most 5 or 6, and that's only after a bad string of really horrid dates), but considering I only ask out women who give me their number first(There are exceptions but it's rare, I just find it more fun that way). Always worked well for me and is working even better as I get older. Then again I'm a natural flirt(I don't consider what I do flirting but the monkey that's looking over my shoulder is telling me otherwise).

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I was travelling late last year and stayed at a hotel. In the morning I was getting some coffee before I checked out. Some man just came out of the blue and started talking to me. Not my type so I just was polite, said very little and left.

About 2 weeks ago I was at a grocery store that I don't normally go to and one of the stock clerks started being super friendly, was making eye contact etc.

I think it's a numbers game for some men. There was a janitor where I used to work who made a pass at EVERY female, as long as she wasn't a manager. If it was female and had a pulse, he would take it.

I am no great beauty (40+ years old and maybe a 6 or 7 on a scale of 10).

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At my age I usually tailor my approach to young ladies in a manner designed to elicit a "What a nice old gentleman" response! Can't hope for much more, these days, I'm afraid. (And if I actually got a more positive response, I fear Mrs.E would feed my goolies to the dogs!)

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At my age I usually tailor my approach to young ladies in a manner designed to elicit a "What a nice old gentleman" response! Can't hope for much more, these days, I'm afraid. (And if I actually got a more positive response, I fear Mrs.E would feed my goolies to the dogs!)

Haha E, you strapping young lad, you... :P

I don't know what it is, but a lot of older guys come onto me. People I meet always assume I'm 20 something, but I doubt that's it. The only person I ever got involved with who was all that much older was a teacher in high school who was about double my age when I was 16. He was kind, easy to be around, and he could hold an intellectual conversation. Despite the age difference and everything else he was always very respectful, and there was nothing I would deem 'bad' about our relationship. I like older men anyway, it's just that was an 'outlier' even for me. Age is a funny, funny thing...

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Ha the million dollar question. Raising two kids kinda puts a downer on the dating scene for me but I honestly don't 'look' for women or something in them. I just like to be surprised, I keep an open mind and it's usually the personality that attracts me. Cliché I know, but you might have the hottest body in the crowd, doesn't make you beautiful. There are a lot of aspects to Beauty/attractiveness, and it's not just how athletic or cute you are. I mean sure, I've seen girls and been like WOW she's good looking but doesn't make her beautiful. Besides, the first two things I notice are the eyes and hair, both of which portray a lot about a persons personality. And I much prefer women who wear long modest dresses, rather then short skirts and tank tops I rarely notice the really putting it out there girls first. There are so many of them that it's just not something I get radiated to.

I don't know how it is in other countries of late, but here the really really short hot pants and tank tops are the inn thing. And there's nothing I find attractive about it.

Anoywho, you may have a lot of guys coming onto you because from what I can tell, you seem like a decent person. You say you smile a lot and speaking from experience, a hell of a lot of people in our day in age mistake kindness for flirtation.

I cannot count the amount of times I've opened or held a door for a woman, or let them out the door first or been at a checkout and asked how their day has been, made eye contact and smiled. Then they have ended up blushing, flirting or calling me out for flirting. And I'd say about...90% of the time I have not meant to appear I am flirting. They have just taken kindness in the wrong context. I was actually having a conversation about this with my mother the other day and the different reactions I get.

I have a habit of calling people sweetheart or darlin', and she was telling me how it can be taken in the wrong way after I was in subway and the woman behind the counter went red faced when I called her sweetheart.

Don't be afraid of it, take it as a compliment. You don't have to ring them and I'm sure if they just approach a random in the shopping centre then they would be used to a lot of rejections. I think's it's proper to get to know someone before you ask them on a date lmfao. Anyway I say keep doing what your doing. I've had people tell me I'm to nice but I don't care, never know when your smile is going to brighten someone's day. It's the joy of working in customer service jobs, I loved working in a restaurant because of the people who'd come through. I'd make it my mission to make anyone who came in down, smile before they leave.

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Posted (edited)

...

I have a habit of calling people sweetheart or darlin', and she was telling me how it can be taken in the wrong way after I was in subway and the woman behind the counter went red faced when I called her sweetheart.

....

At least no one has hit you in the face with a purse yet. :lol:

You sound like a gentleman though, and not a creepy stalker.

Edited by little_dreamer
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Oh for goodness sakes...young beautiful women get hit on frequently, it's as simple as that.

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Oh for goodness sakes...young beautiful women get hit on frequently, it's as simple as that.

This!

My wife gets hit on all the time when she goes shopping alone, which is why she never goes alone anymore...she hates it. When we were in the pre-dating phase, there were about 15-20 other guys always trying to get to know her better...all of which were a lot better looking then my ugly butt. Still don't know why she married me.

As far as what looked for...I never had the confidence to ask a girl out. I needed the girkl to hit me over the head with a club. My wife and I were co-workers and friends before we dated.

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