Join the Unexplained Mysteries community today! It's free and setting up an account only takes a moment.
- Sign In or Create Account -
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 2
DieChecker

11 Crazy Bigfoot Conspiracies

34 posts in this topic

http://mentalfloss.com/article/48870/11-crazy-bigfoot-conspiracy-theories#ixzz2NKO4u0VA

Thought this article funny. Especially.....

6. Sasquatches Occasionally Sodomize Domestic Cows.

7. Sasquatches Appear in the Bible.

8. 10 percent of Sasquatches Might be Gay.

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8. 10 percent of Sasquatches Might be Gay.

Well, that could be a problem if I shoot one and he's gay then not only is it murder but a hate crime as well.

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm surprised the "Bigfoot is an inter-dimensional being" "theory" isn't on that website.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think the theory that Bigfoot is a shapeshifter should've been on that list.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

http://mentalfloss.c...s#ixzz2NKO4u0VA

Thought this article funny. Especially.....

6. Sasquatches Occasionally Sodomize Domestic Cows.

7. Sasquatches Appear in the Bible.

8. 10 percent of Sasquatches Might be Gay.

Number 6 made me almost P*ss my pants laughing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How about this one, the finding Bigfoot turds are actually Sasquatches in disguise, and are on a disinformation campaign to throw everyone off of their tracks, Keeping the species forever safe.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

Animal-on-animal Bigfoot to cow bestiality that's a new one to me.

Edited by stevemagegod

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Animal-on-animal Bigfoot to cow bestiality that's a new one to me.

That's only with the Southern Bigfoot, down here in the south we have the cows pretty much stump trained. It's a southern thing, I don't expect people from other places to understand.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What is "stump training"? I've never heard of that before Kenin.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What is "stump training"? I've never heard of that before Kenin.

Are you serious? They're trained to back up to a stump to make sodomy a little easier. Of course, a Bigfoot might not require the extra height, but not everyone is a Bigfoot down here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wasn't trying to poke fun, I genuinely did not know the reference...I guess I learned something new!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We all learn new things all the time.

:yes:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Although........I'm still curious how they knew it was a Bigfoot a rappen those cattle? I mean did the police show up and use a rape kit? Did the poor cows need therapy and counseling?

What happens if I'm out hiking and I come across a gay Bigfoot, do I A) do the old poop and run? or B) try to explain that not all hairless ones are gay? C) Just give it up to him and try to get video?

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

IMO the fifth theory is not so crazy, especially if the animal has been seen from a certain distance and at night with its long swinging arms. Last ones were still living in Cuba 4190 years ago, more recently than any other prehistoric megafauna.

Edited by Thegreatsilence

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On the OP's link there's Conan interviewing that Bobo fellow from "Finding Bigfoot"...that was pretty amusing.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On the OP's link there's Conan interviewing that Bobo fellow from "Finding Bigfoot"...that was pretty amusing.

"Why don't we have one?!! Why isn't he on the show right now?!!" Conan

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He's probably too busy out looking for attractive cows...;)

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He's probably too busy out looking for attractive cows... ;)

Uhm......They don't have to be attractive, I mean, it's not like you're going to kiss them.

Besides, their breath smells like sweet feed.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And yet some redneck tearing ass down a dirt road in his 4x4 with a Go Pro strapped to the bumper can still surprise such an elusive beast.....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't feel too bad for those cows. According to the Loren Coleman book on bigfoot I once read, Sasquatch does occasionally sodomize cattle, but he only has a 2 inch penis. So maybe they can't even feel it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

Ok, this is a new low in Bigfootery..... phalanx size of a Bigfoot. I shudder to wonder how he determined the size of Bigfoots male member? On a good day, it won't get past his out hair covering.......Mama Bigfoot is not going to be a happy camper.

:huh:

Edited by keninsc

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

Ok, this is a new low in Bigfootery..... phalanx size of a Bigfoot. I shudder to wonder how he determined the size of Bigfoots male member? On a good day, it won't get past his out hair covering.......Mama Bigfoot is not going to be a happy camper.

:huh:

Simple, it's like several other bigfoot "facts". Someone hears about chimpanzee or gorilla (small member) or orangutan anatomies or behaviors and viola! Guess what?! Biff does/has too!

Only sometimes they act like it's something particular only to bigfoot and don't say they learned about it elsewhere.

Or, they reveal that other apes do/have, so we know how viable/real/part of the earthly animal family tree Biff is.

Edited by QuiteContrary

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I thought this was interesting, I popped in over at the BFRO forum to see what was happening, even though I don't post over there any more I still like to see if anything interesting is going on there. Anyway, I saw a thread, actually a couple threads where people were complaining that the show was always the same thing just in a different location. Never finding Bigfoot, just doing the same old things in the woods and such. Seems the fan base is getting tired of the show now, one wonders what they'll come up with to try and spice it up.

They might start nailing ribs to trees or something........in an area filled with homeless druggies and drunks........behind a manufacturing plant of some kind. Oh and carrying guns.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I thought this was interesting, I popped in over at the BFRO forum to see what was happening, even though I don't post over there any more I still like to see if anything interesting is going on there. Anyway, I saw a thread, actually a couple threads where people were complaining that the show was always the same thing just in a different location. Never finding Bigfoot, just doing the same old things in the woods and such. Seems the fan base is getting tired of the show now, one wonders what they'll come up with to try and spice it up.

They might start nailing ribs to trees or something........in an area filled with homeless druggies and drunks........behind a manufacturing plant of some kind. Oh and carrying guns.

They're allowed to complain?

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok, this is a new low in Bigfootery..... phalanx size of a Bigfoot. I shudder to wonder how he determined the size of Bigfoots male member? On a good day, it won't get past his out hair covering.......Mama Bigfoot is not going to be a happy camper.

:huh:

Maybe that's why he hides so much....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 2

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.