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Still Waters

Is there a secret to a happy marriage?

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Yup.for the guys,keep the toilet seat down and when they talk to you ,Listen,when they want to argue,let them but remain humble and kind,If they ask you if "Does this dress make me look fat say Yup PHAT,pretty hot and tempting or no.or tell them'What you talking about,your my heart,when they want to go out take them.Let them know they are what keeps your heart pumping,Never never forget to tell them You LOVE them,at least twice a day,Open the car door for them,all the things they deserve.

Women,Dont Talk to much,when watching the game get out of the way,feed them when they are hungry,dont kick their chins when they leave the seat up on said toilet.wear our favorite purfume for us,not much is asked from yall,at least not from me,and please for all our sakes,Let us be men.

now for the both of yall,RESPECT ONE ANOTHER!!!!!! and Love each other a LONG TIME!! Never ever go to bed angry at each other,treat each other the way you want to be treated,Enough said.

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Must be a very well kept secret as I've not seen too many happy marriages.

You poor girl.

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Years ago, but I always remember a couple in a nursing home, she was blind and he was crippled but they were so happy together even when they needed to move to assisted living. They were always lovey dovey. One day he died and just a few days later she was gone too. They were married 70 some odd years, they had a full and beautiful life together. I always tease my spouse, I want us to be like them, and we can chase each other around in our wheel chairs and make the youngin's jealous LOL

I think most people would want that....a life with someone you love...but more importantly who love you back just as much....

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Yes of course, and it is not a secret either:

Lots of sex, and no nagging.

Voila, happy marriage.

Alas, females have a built-in tendency for the reverse recipe, once married.

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I don't believe there's a secret to it. Happy marriages happen to be happy because either the two parties to it remain the same,or they change in a way that they still choose one another (changing and falling in love with same person).

Yea, there is no secret -- there is no rule. There are some things that are bound to either break a marriage or to make it unhappy, but there is nothing that guarantees that it will be happy.

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I think I'll stick to my variation on the Groucho Marx philosophy:

I don't want to be married to any woman who accepts me as a husband.

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Posted (edited)

,If they ask you if "Does this dress make me look fat say

The correct response to this question is, "of course not, dear. It's your backside that does that"

Edited by Arbenol68
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Having had an extremely happy marriage until my wife died, I feel I should have much to say on the subject, but oddly I don't. I already mentioned some things a man can do to ruin a marriage, but that is not that helpful except as things to avoid.

I think if two happy people are married, they are likely to be happy together. The happiness of each reinforces the happiness of the other. Sounds corny, but I think many couples get into bad habits of criticism and complaint, mainly out of, as I said, just the a habit.

I think money can be a major problem, if either partner spends excessively or is too stingy. That is a tough one to keep in balance. I dealt with it by giving my money over to my wife and her giving me an allowance. I know a lot of men feel this is demeaning, but it is the woman who has to make most purchases, so it worked, as long as my wife let me have my toys.

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As a few people have said, I don't think there is any one (or few) secrets to a happy marriage. But there are numerous things to avoid if you want to remain in a happy marriage. Cheating, lying, violence..... from either side is not going to result in a happy marriage.

Me and my hubby have had our ups and downs, but the bottom line is, we are madly in love with each other and love our children. Mistakes have been made, but you have to make a decision to either call it a day, or to learn to live with that and move on. Luckily, we have been able to move on, and we are much stronger now having got over those hurdles and realising that as much as things hurt while trying to work it all out, it would have hurt even more not to have each other.

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Speaking of things that break up marriages, i think taking each other for granted is an accident waiting to happen. That shows in many ways but the most evident one is people thinking of marriage as the end.. it's not. It's a phase that has a beginning, course, and end.

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taking each other for granted is an accident waiting to happen.

This is a killer to most relationships ..I think the worst is wanting someone to be a person they're not, your always going to be let down, or should I say let yourself down with expectation that isn't met,

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"happy wife.... Happy life"

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Pretty happy marriage for 25 years here.

1 - I married the man who p!ssed me off the least

2- mostly honesty

3 - I don't have to be "right" in a discussion/argument and neither does he but we have to listen to each other and not just wait for our turn to talk

Is it a perfect marriage? Nope. Is it fun. Yep.

Nibs

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Posted (edited)

You poor girl.

I'm a realist: 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Of the remaining 50% I'm pretty sure those aren't all 'happy marriages'. So, happy marriages are most certainly in the minority.

Edited by Lilly
Oops

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Marriages that end in divorce aren't necessarily unhappy, even at the end. Unhappy marriages have happy times and reasons for continuing. In other words, marital life is not all that bleak.

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Posted (edited)

People just give up to easy, work threw your problems not around them. You don't throw away a car, you fix it, a house, you fix it. A marriage should last a life time so fix it.

Edited by Leah G.
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I'm a realist: 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Of the remaining 50% I'm pretty sure those aren't all 'happy marriages'. So, happy marriages are most certainly in the minority.

I would assume it was more that 50% Im of the opinion that a happy marriage is a rare thing

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Not every marriage needs to last a lifetime; I am reminded of the 96 year old pair who got divorced when their last child died; they were staying married for the sake of the children. (Myth I'm sure).

The rule in the world now is that one can only have one spouse at a time.

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Posted (edited)

We've been happily married for 22 years now. I don't think there is any particular set of rules that will work for everyone, but these are the things I have observed in the happy, successful marriages I know:

The first has to do with how I started this post. You both have to think of "We" before "me." If either spouse thinks they are more important than "we" or just as bad, if either spouse thinks the other is more important than "we" problems are inevitable.

If there was something you did not like about your spouse before you married them, you better deal with it before you get married because more than likely they are not going to change, or at least not overnight, and probably never completely. I have seen several marriages collapse. Of the marriages where I knew the couple before they were married and saw them struggle in their relationship before they got married, all of them have ended up in divorce. And of these couples, I only know of one person who seems to be having a successful second marriage, all of the others (9 people in total) seem to have learned absolutely nothing from the failure of their first marriage and seem to be on the way to another divorce. Along the same lines, if you go into marriage with divorce as a viable option, then it will be, if you don't then it will help you realize this is not the person you should marry, and once on the other side, you will work to make the relationship work because it's a life-long relationship that has to work.

Talk, listen, talk, listen, talk, listen... By the time we got married my wife and I had dated for over five years. In that time we had talked about everything from what we liked about our respective parents' marriage and what we didn't like, how we would deal with disagreements, how many kids we wanted to have, what we wanted our sex life to be like, how we would raise our children, we set limits on how much one of us could spend without having to first notify the other ($50), we even had a name for a son. Even so, there were soooo many things we realized we had not talked about, but we had built up that process and that relationship where either of us can say, "Hey, I think we need to talk about how we're going to deal with this."

Be loving. My wife and I go out on dates, we hold hands all the time, we are each others' best friend and even though we both know we love each other, we say it to each other often; several times a day.

Acknowledge and learn to deal with your differences. I have been studying and using the Myers-Briggs personality types for about 25 years. I'm an INTP (introvert, intuitive, thinking, perceiving), my wife is an ISFJ (introvert, sensing, feeling, judging), other than both being introverts we are opposites. We have to keep this in mind when we deal with an issue because it means we are looking at the issue from very different perspectives, we even talk about it in very different ways and we can easily make assumptions about what are the obvious and not so obvious parts of the issue. We've even learned how to use our differnces to benefit our marriage.

The last should be obvious, but it really isn't: Be happy in your marriage and with your spouse, and with your children. If you find you can't then seek help whether medical or psychological.

Edited by IamsSon

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the secret to a happy marriage is us living a society like our animal species were ment to live

we are primates we are not pose to be only one man with one women families

we are suppose to be more like tribes and the man has more than one female.

we can become civilized but we cant civilize our instincts

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the secret to a happy marriage is us living a society like our animal species were ment to live

we are primates we are not pose to be only one man with one women families

we are suppose to be more like tribes and the man has more than one female.

we can become civilized but we cant civilize our instincts

women families?

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we are suppose to be more like tribes and the man has more than one female.

Personally, I don't desire to be one of a group of women that are basically the property of one man.

we can become civilized but we cant civilize our instincts

Then we'd better try harder. To just accept negative traits as being "instinct" is not what civilization is about.

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Duct tape.

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"Bend like the Palm" my Dad use to say to me!

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I don't know what makes a marriage a happy one. But, forgiveness is what has held my marriage together. And, I believe that this is a neccessary element in all relationships.

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