Roy Perry Posted May 3, 2013 #1 Share Posted May 3, 2013 God first thanks all my friends and others it gets hard at times but thanks you guys and my family and close friends I am trying hard to live is May 3th the day I was born I love all of yall thank you with love and a holy kiss from Roy It is something I wrote to my Psychotherapy God of nothing, God of something, and God of everything first Schizophrenia the voices have change 04-29-2013 I no longer a voice of reason it is unreasonable that louder the voice of reason tells me to kill myself but my unreasonable of Christ yell do not kill yourself your my apostle an unreasonable thing. I once said after my father and mother had died I would kill myself they were my only reason I did not do it long ago. For now I will listen to that unreasonable voice of Christ and that voice of flesh that tells me what is reasonable I will live for hoping to discover something that I am over looking. The voice of reason tells me I am of no value I have no children and I will never have a wife while the unreasonable voice tells me the children that have loved me are more than I can count. I known that kids have always love me I have a way with children but it not the same then the unreasonable voice would say how? I do not have an answer to the unreasonable voice because the children I love are dear to me and my friends are dear to me. It is hard to do what is unreasonable because I never will have a mate to love at my age I cannot give a women what she needs my hearth will not let me anymore. I fall for the wrong person like my Social Worker it would be easy for me to far for her but like the good ones she out of the picture to far away. Thank you for now I will live even that is unreasonable thing to do with love and a holy kiss From Roy. God of nothing, God of something, and God of everything first Schizophrenia hell bell 05-01-2013 I think the drug Citalopram is changing my feeling I feel like biting myself and cutting myself with razor blame I feel depression just lay there. All night and all day unless I have an appointed to go tomorrow I see the hearing doctor for a free check on my hearing because I can only hear up close if a person is more ten feet away I have trouble hearing. Then Thursday I see my doctor again for a check up I plan on telling that the drug is changing me and other things. I plan telling him that I was tested for seizures and sleep disorder but the found nothing I was order to take a five sleep study that I never took. I feel like I am running to must from one appointed I have three on the sixth of May the 15th , the 20th, the 26th, and 6th of June. Thank you with love and a holy kiss from Roy. here is what Psychotherapy wrote to me I am very glad you will be able to see Nancy Williams on 5/15 - she will get your medication straightened out. She really does "discuss risks and benefits" of medication, and she will take your concerns about side effects seriously. It is possible that you are having negative side effects from the celexa, but that is a medical question I will leave to the experts. It is a good idea to ask your doctor about that - tell him you have a psychiatric consults scheduled on 5/15 but you have questions about the celexa (citalopram) in the meantime. The psychiatrist who prescribed it at LifeSpring was Dr Lydon. I hope the upsetting thoughts and feelings get better soon. if they don't and you find yourself thinking about hurting yourself all the time, you can't wait for two weeks. One option is to follow up with Dr. Lydon at LifeSpring. If you are sure that you can keep yourself safe, another option is to call the Crisis Unit and talk to a nurse or MD there. The number is 270-737-1360. If you are not sure that you can keep yourself from harming yourself, you need to go to the Crisis Unit or the Emergency Department right away. I want you to keep all your options open. You are still needed in this fleshly world. It is no fun keeping up with all those appointments, but I am hopeful that we can get you feeling better soon. Be well, and keep your fleshly self safe. On April 23, 2013 I cut on myself somewhat On May 2 2013 I did it again On May 3 my friends took out to eat On May 6 2013 I see my Psychotherapy again do not know what he is going to do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notforgotten Posted May 3, 2013 #2 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Dude, if you are schizophrenic, you have the lying, deceiving devils in your life. Play along with your psychotherapist and psychiatrist to get your support, but by no means commit suicide. That's a sin in which you may go to hell for. Good luck and God bless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
little_dreamer Posted May 3, 2013 #3 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Um... Happy birthday and good luck with your treatment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy Perry Posted May 3, 2013 Author #4 Share Posted May 3, 2013 God first thanks notforgotten and little_dreamer thank you two I will try my friends thanks for wishing me happy bithday thank you with love and a holy kiss from Roy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Sherapy Posted May 4, 2013 #5 Share Posted May 4, 2013 (edited) God first thanks all my friends and others it gets hard at times but thanks you guys and my family and close friends I am trying hard to live is May 3th the day I was born I love all of yall thank you with love and a holy kiss from Roy It is something I wrote to my Psychotherapy God of nothing, God of something, and God of everything first Schizophrenia the voices have change 04-29-2013 I no longer a voice of reason it is unreasonable that louder the voice of reason tells me to kill myself but my unreasonable of Christ yell do not kill yourself your my apostle an unreasonable thing. I once said after my father and mother had died I would kill myself they were my only reason I did not do it long ago. For now I will listen to that unreasonable voice of Christ and that voice of flesh that tells me what is reasonable I will live for hoping to discover something that I am over looking. The voice of reason tells me I am of no value I have no children and I will never have a wife while the unreasonable voice tells me the children that have loved me are more than I can count. I known that kids have always love me I have a way with children but it not the same then the unreasonable voice would say how? I do not have an answer to the unreasonable voice because the children I love are dear to me and my friends are dear to me. It is hard to do what is unreasonable because I never will have a mate to love at my age I cannot give a women what she needs my hearth will not let me anymore. I fall for the wrong person like my Social Worker it would be easy for me to far for her but like the good ones she out of the picture to far away. Thank you for now I will live even that is unreasonable thing to do with love and a holy kiss From Roy. God of nothing, God of something, and God of everything first Schizophrenia hell bell 05-01-2013 I think the drug Citalopram is changing my feeling I feel like biting myself and cutting myself with razor blame I feel depression just lay there. All night and all day unless I have an appointed to go tomorrow I see the hearing doctor for a free check on my hearing because I can only hear up close if a person is more ten feet away I have trouble hearing. Then Thursday I see my doctor again for a check up I plan on telling that the drug is changing me and other things. I plan telling him that I was tested for seizures and sleep disorder but the found nothing I was order to take a five sleep study that I never took. I feel like I am running to must from one appointed I have three on the sixth of May the 15th , the 20th, the 26th, and 6th of June. Thank you with love and a holy kiss from Roy. here is what Psychotherapy wrote to me I am very glad you will be able to see Nancy Williams on 5/15 - she will get your medication straightened out. She really does "discuss risks and benefits" of medication, and she will take your concerns about side effects seriously. It is possible that you are having negative side effects from the celexa, but that is a medical question I will leave to the experts. It is a good idea to ask your doctor about that - tell him you have a psychiatric consults scheduled on 5/15 but you have questions about the celexa (citalopram) in the meantime. The psychiatrist who prescribed it at LifeSpring was Dr Lydon. I hope the upsetting thoughts and feelings get better soon. if they don't and you find yourself thinking about hurting yourself all the time, you can't wait for two weeks. One option is to follow up with Dr. Lydon at LifeSpring. If you are sure that you can keep yourself safe, another option is to call the Crisis Unit and talk to a nurse or MD there. The number is 270-737-1360. If you are not sure that you can keep yourself from harming yourself, you need to go to the Crisis Unit or the Emergency Department right away. I want you to keep all your options open. You are still needed in this fleshly world. It is no fun keeping up with all those appointments, but I am hopeful that we can get you feeling better soon. Be well, and keep your fleshly self safe. On April 23, 2013 I cut on myself somewhat On May 2 2013 I did it again On May 3 my friends took out to eat On May 6 2013 I see my Psychotherapy again do not know what he is going to do Happy b-day Roy, both my mom and my ex mother- in- law a had schizophrenia. I say had because both took their meds and could manage the disease. The most important thing is to take your meds. eventually you will find ones that work for you. Roy, do not give up, you can do this. Edited May 4, 2013 by Sherapy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy Perry Posted May 4, 2013 Author #6 Share Posted May 4, 2013 God first thanks Sherapy thanks my friend I will not give i am trying while is hard today help some my four old friend that calls me buddy made everything a lot easier children are the best drug one can take thank you for understanding with love and a holy kiss of frindship unto you from Roy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ambelamba Posted May 5, 2013 #7 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Don't play along. Be cooperative as best as you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy Perry Posted May 7, 2013 Author #8 Share Posted May 7, 2013 God first thanks my friends I got out the hosial today and its the things are better than ever drean they could ever be I doing really good today my friends but tired I sign in the day after my birthday because I needed to with love and a holy kiss from Roy 0 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glenville86 Posted May 8, 2013 #9 Share Posted May 8, 2013 Roy, Good to see you posting. My mother had the same problems and got better with medications. It was hard for her until they found the right treatment. This is a medical problem that can and will be fixed. God Bless you Roy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy Perry Posted May 8, 2013 Author #10 Share Posted May 8, 2013 God frist thanks Glenville86 and Ron thank you two It good to hear understands what I been going through on another board thier some that understand too but it help to read about a person that love with a person like me thanks with love and a holy kiss of friendship unto you from Roy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Sherapy Posted May 10, 2013 #11 Share Posted May 10, 2013 (edited) God first thanks Sherapy thanks my friend I will not give i am trying while is hard today help some my four old friend that calls me buddy made everything a lot easier children are the best drug one can take thank you for understanding with love and a holy kiss of frindship unto you from Roy I am glad to hear you have good friends around you Roy, please include me amongst them. Do not ever hesitate to pm me if you get down or just want to chat. I can tell you are an amazing man; your openness and courage is truly inspirational. Um is a far better place with you on it. Edited May 10, 2013 by Sherapy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy Perry Posted May 11, 2013 Author #12 Share Posted May 11, 2013 God first thanks Sherapy yes I will include Sherapy as my friend thank you with love and a holy kiss of friendship unto yoy from Roy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarMountainKid Posted May 11, 2013 #13 Share Posted May 11, 2013 The voice of unreason is the strength that holds this world together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beany Posted May 11, 2013 #14 Share Posted May 11, 2013 Roy, clearly you're not going to let your disease define you, good for you. It's just one part of who you are, not the whole. I don't know that I could manage as well as you if I were in your shoes. Blessings. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy Perry Posted May 11, 2013 Author #15 Share Posted May 11, 2013 God first thanks StarMountainKid and Beany yes it is "voice of unreason" that holds everything thanks StarMountainKid you understand so I believe you could Beany but i love you the way you are my friend thanks you two with love and a holy kiss of friendship unto you two from Roy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beany Posted May 17, 2013 #16 Share Posted May 17, 2013 I believe it's a choir of voices, Roy, or a symphony, that holds things together. Not everyone is singing the same notes or playing the same instrument, but somehow it all comes together to create something beautiful and vibrant. No one single voice or instrument could tell the whole story. Blessings to you, Roy. Hope you enjoy this; it soothes my restless beast within. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy Perry Posted May 17, 2013 Author #17 Share Posted May 17, 2013 God first thanks Beany Yes I did my friend it was beuiful thanks with love and a holy kiss of friendship unto you from Roy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Crane Feather Posted May 17, 2013 #18 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Your struggles force the rest of us to self reflect Roy. Thanks for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy Perry Posted May 17, 2013 Author #19 Share Posted May 17, 2013 God first thanks Seeker your welcome my dear friend with love and a holy kiss of friendship unto you from Roy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Topp Posted June 14, 2013 #20 Share Posted June 14, 2013 God Second, Always creepy threads roy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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