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ambelamba

Blah!

6 posts in this topic

I am still young from a certain perspective, but I lived long enough to know that there are all different kind of people.

There are conformists and non-conformists. There are sociable, anti-social and many inbetween. Some people are frustratingly out of the line. Others just want to live a quiet and comfortable life. Some people enjoy being nice. Others enjoy being a-holes and tyrants. Some people are more inclined to spiritual and metaphysical concerns. Others don't give a damn.

Many kinds of people who I encountered online are not the kind of people whom I see everyday, unless I drive all the way down to Venice Beach. Internet makes people more and more segregated. And it's a common knowledge.

I joined UM because of I was interested in UFOs and aliens. Eventually, I lost my interest because they have no use for living a life. It's not like we are openly visited by alien tourists in the broad daylight. It's too elusive, sometimes making things really frustrating. And I gotta be honest, this kind of issue attracts the kinds of people that I never want to associate in real life. Sure, I saw UFOs twice in my life, but that didn't make my life better or worse.

By nature, the forums deal with very sensitive issues. And sometimes I wish people here had the level of courtesy of 4chan or Something Awful. But that will scare away tons of people: people who are on the fringe of the society.

Well, I do have my afflictions, which stunted my function as an independent adult and took away 10 years of my life. Because of that my military career was shambled I barely graduated a state university with a useless BFA. America is the best country to study art, but on the flip side it's the toughest place to get an art-related job because of so much competition. Combined with my affliction I am still struggling to start my real job somewhere. My biggest regret is not having built a portfolio related to Graphic Design. I am more inclined to fine art, illustration, and entertainment art, and those fields are practically saturated.

Combined with vast financial burden, it's difficult to believe in a loving deity. And ironically, it's difficult to abandon the idea of a deity completely. God seems to enjoy tormenting me and once I get into that mindset it's damn impossible to see the world in a positive light. Some say God gives suffering to build a character. Well, in that sense God does seem to like making haters. Or...does he/she/it care?

In my specific situations it's difficult to be a conventional theist but it's also difficult to be an atheist either. That was the pattern of my life. When I look back my past, it seems like some invisible force was manipulating my life, but in a very mischievous way. That's the reason why I envy self-made men. They are the kind of people who didn't have Herculean roadblocks or divine intervention. They only had the obstacles that they could handle eventually.

See, I heard that a cultural group's perception on a deity is heavily influenced by their surroundings. Greeks had less-than-ideal environments, but it was easy for them to exploit their environments and work on their own strength. Not so much for the Hebrews. Canaan was a barren piece of crap land with capital B and C. Circumstantially, they were living under the mercy of God.

You know, I know that the idea of God who awards the righteous and punish the wicked is a pretty much a universal theme. But comparing to the folklore and myths, the God of Israel is an exceptionally...undesirable one. Sure, there are many different stories of floods around the world, but none but the Hebrew ones explains it as the God's punishment. I am not an expert at geography but Middle East seems to be the crappiest place to live. No wonder why Abrahamic beliefs started out as really harsh ones.

In my culture, there's not a single unified idea of a supreme deity. People believed some kind of God, but their belief was hardly dogmatic. Part of the reason being that Confucianism frowned upon overtly supernatural worldview. Confucius himself taught his pupils not to discuss on deities and supernatural things. In my culture, God was never temperamental. In the oldest myth of my people, a son of supreme God descended to the mortal world to enlighten people. He eventually married and sired the forefather of my people, named Dan-Goon.

Again, the idea and belief of a deity can be heavily influenced by the environments and social atmosphere. My home country has four distinct seasons, kinda like the East Coast of America. People starved periodically before the harvest season, but that didn't make people worship harsh gods. Although my people have been dreadfully superstitious, there was not a single religious establishment in the capital for more than five centuries.

Now, in 21st century, Fundamentalist Christianity is a very sizable and powerful minority in my home country. Part of the reason why Christianity became so textualist and fundamentalist in Korea, is that the education system. In Korea, the education system exists to manufacture docile labor force, not a thinking citizen. Educations revolves around strict memorization and not much on independent thinking, making people easy to brainwash. And the idea of western democracy is an imported idea.

Like I said, the reason for the strict adherents of the Scripture is caused by ultra-conformist education. And Koreans can be very bookish, too.. which is bad for psychological growth during the childhood. It's difficult to be moderate in such a cultural environment.

I don't know. I wanted talk about the people on the forums but I ended up lecturing about the culture of my home country again... :)

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QUOTE-

.

I don't know. I wanted talk about

the people on the forums but I

ended up lecturing about the

culture of my home country

again...

.

but you did it ever so eloquently ron!

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Wish I could responsibly respond, but Ron, I think your opinions were presented quite well.

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aspirations2-mary.jpg

You could probably use your art skills to keep your culture strong

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Thank you guys. I hope every single one of my post to be some food for thought for everyone.

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OK, more blah blah blah.

Looks can be deceiving. We tend to judge people by their looks. People who think that they are good at it tend to be either super sheltered or super arrogant.

Recently I've been following this aging photographer from Minnesota through Vimeo. One of his models was a very innocent looking girl with very pure look. Guess what?

Now she's doing hard*spam filter* in Florida. When I let him know about her whereabouts he was devastated. So was I. But honestly I am torn because I enjoyed her semi-erotic photoshoots and wanted to explore her sensuality even more. God has a sick sense of humor since he seemed to answer my wishes. :(

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