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Has your life put you into a mental madness?


Roy Perry

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God of nothing, God of something, and God of everything first

Wrote while I was in Life Spring “Hardin Memorial Hospital”

05-07-2013

I am having a friend write this for me. My doctor will give a colonoscopy because I have needed one in the past and I have finally asked my doctor due to the fear of having a colonoscopy. Dis Spell told me I write about everything that would be embarrassing, and this I cope with these things.

Because putting it out in the open everyone can see and you do not have to hide it anymore and I can have Pride. Thanks for reading this with love and a holy kiss of friendship Roy.

God of nothing, God of something, and God of everything first

What I wanted to write but I was afraid

5-09-2013

I was shy and I could not write I wanted too having write is hard but I wanted to try because they bless my heart more than words could say or write. I really was bless by all the friends it made sad because my colon was given problem so **** all over myself but I am going to have colonoscopy because ask my doctor. I am also going to have sleep and test for other things I ask my doctor to do. You see I listen in on another person trying to help another and yes it embarrassing to post this but how other am I to remove pride from myself.

I am not going to not be tested again but will come my path that makes me go into another test of pride but I am flesh human that thinks he will turn into spiritual as he move past these flesh word into the next stage of life. Having the courage to ask my doctor so I an take a colonoscopy because what others might think. When I was in my teens others called me names that made me fear things but I going to be bold and not worry what they think.

When I was on some boards some told me they wanted to hang me on a tree, stone me with rocks or burn me alive but I give my real address and told to come because the police trow lead back. Sure I should not given my address but I am going to run from either. When I think about boards that I am been banned from for blowing holy kisses at them because the voices told me to do and I read in book called the bible to greek everybody with a holy kiss.

If I going to say I am a apostle which I say I am self appointed apostle and I claim that I know the year I will die 2027 AD. A lot of people claim the bible is God's word but I do not believe they do not know what a false book and what God holy truth. The books from Genesis unto Revelation but the cover and back and anything that gives created to Price James because that not God. One can find truth in a fairly tale than man made church of the bible because the bible is not holy truth but fairly tales that have things to teach us about life that is what truth comes from.

I learn more about what is truth by going into Mental Hospital and listen to people that were trying to help me than any cult I ever been in and I call churches cults. Truth is what helps us learn about life like Revelation that teaches us wisdom of life like Revelation the different kinds of people. I tired now but I have teaches what wisdom comes from faces we are fools their not truth in us only hope that learn before its too late thank you with love and a holy kiss of friendship unto you from Roy.

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Give as many holy kisses as you want, Roy.

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I am not sure exactly what a holy kiss is Roy,although I suspect it is a symbol of love and brotherhood.

Any way, the same for me, Roy.

My hope for you, Roy, is that you find a way to bring all the separated parts of yourself back into one healed, whole, being. To reconnect yourself with yourself, and with other people and the world around you, in a way which makes sense, and is not a wearing, constant struggle.

I wish I could give something of myself, which would help this to happen.

Edited by Mr Walker
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Take care Roy. I'm wishing you the best brother. Never stop writtiing. There are a few people here that understand you. keep writtiing to us. We want to hear you.

Edited by Seeker79
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God first

thanks Seeker

thank you my friend

I will keep written because it help me underrstand life it self

with love and a holy kiss of friendship unto you from Roy

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Lolwut. Colonoscopy and God. seems legit. Any way, a holy of friendship to you roy.

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Hi Roy,

Thanks for sharing that with us. Best wishes with the op and keep your spirits up. :tu::innocent:

Edited by Star of the Sea
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Best of luck with everything Roy. Take care always :)

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Roy thank you for sharing this video, it helped me to understand you so much more. I am so proud of how far you have come and how far you will go, please keep writing to your family here at UM. I think I can speak for us all we love you Roy!!!!

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God of nothing, God of something,

and God of everything firstGod of nothing,

God of something, and God of everything first

I am a Atheist/Christian and a person that crazy!

05-18-2013

Here I sat about to write what I think, what I feel, what I must dream about and everything because is my mind is running fast. I have enjoying the I.M.R. meeting I started going to on every Monday and Wednesday because I know getting out in open helps a lot because I been written on boards and U-tube. That has been helping me deal with while sometimes it get more I can handle so going to this meeting will me learn how to handle the things in life and it will in others ways that see later.

When someone talks about things in a group of other people the voices tell me this a good the God like and Christ wants to learn but the flesh like voice wants me to play them all. But for now I am listen the God like voices even I will listen to the unreasonable of God like voice you see it is my nature to think like the flesh voice and mock them. You see I do not want to hurt anybody feeling so I will do my best to open so I can get help.

You see when I wrote the White House and the nice police person came my door because he seem really care about me then Seven Counties Services Inc “Hope Now Hotline” sent me a letter because I turn off my phone and cable services. So I had no Email or phone for a while because if my Landlord did not get my cable fix fast enough I was going to hurt myself. So I ask my doctor to help on 1-11-2013 me but did not know how to ask so I got home care nurses Home Life Care I ask the nurse for a Social Worker to visit me and she did.

My Social Worker came from works with Home Life Care but she live in Bowling Green, Ky so it would be hard but not imposable for her to get a mental warrant on me. You she had patience with me after time I became to trust her she even gave her home telephone number. So I told her to decide what help I get otherwise in my mind I give her full to decide for me I told her to tell my doctor the real reason I needed help. My told her to tell me to sign myself into Life Springs I try but lifeSpring's person told me I could go home because she read the things that I gave to my Nurses and Social Worker.

But my doctor wanted me to try again I told him I would come and see him daily for a while if needed so I begin to come to his office but back it was taking to long and I drove away from his office but I call his office and they talk to me down on the phone and I went back. Now I sign myself two other time one because I told my Landlord I will kill myself she said over a shower rod. She call the police on me I drove off trying to think how I have no hard about her calling the law because I told her too. Will I sat in my car driving here and there so I called my Social Worker, my doctor, and my sister because I was about to hurt myself.

I got out of LifeSprings and my sister took me out to eat and I called my Social Worker to tell her I was out while did not have to tell my doctor because he was the doctor there. Let me tell you I fall for Social Worker she is woman that really cares but I would never made a play for her. I am not saying she the one Social Worker that cares but she is one who talk into getting help.

I have a Anxiety & Panic Disorders, Depression, Decreased need for sleep, Racing thoughts, Markedly increased energy, Increased activity, Schizophrenia seeing visions & hearing things are not there, Bipolar Disorder, Paranoid Personality Disorder, when was young I had Poor judgment that can lead to risk-taking behavior, including sexual activity, and more that I can think right now. I always wonder if my first teacher had sex with me because all I remember about that she had candy in her dest and when I should been spank I just had to sat on her lap. She held me back when I was in the first grade and I had spent two years in her class room. When I went over to my friend house they told me she live down the road and they ask me I wanted to visit her I said no because I had a bad feeling about her.

I known I should told my mother back then but my mother might have got mad at her because she told me that she hit the Dean of School Operation a word I having trouble spelling that begins with a “P” other wise she it the nose. She tried to handle things for well being because she made me talk to Brother Mike Bell of a local church when I got caught cutting on myself. Thank you with the love of God's voice and a holy kiss of Christ's friendship unto you from Roy.

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